Without You, I'm Just Me

Naomi's surgeon, Dr. Runner, had met Lee and let me stand by. I bit at my lip as he started to speak.

"The fractures in her ribs have prolonged the process in taking care of the bleeding in her right lung, but it has slowed some. We've got to take care of her shattered knee in the morning," he sighed, "The gash from the stab wound has been stitched, the one behind her neck as well...we've covered the slices to her faces. So far, Naomi has a 75% chance of recovery."

"How long will the fractures stop you from operating?" Lee asked, his voice straining.

"We're going to make small incisions, move the one broken bone and get to her lungs. We're afraid the bone has pierced her heart, we can't tell directly through the x-ray. Once we had the equipment sanitized and ready, we'll go back in."

"How long?" Lee asked again.

"An hour, the most."

"Can we see her?" I asked now.

Dr. Runner looked at me, shaking his head, "Afraid not now. We're prepping her. I'm sorry, but don't worry, when surgery is over, you all will have some time to see her before we set her in a recovery room."

"Will she be conscious?"

"No," he replied. "We'll let you know of her progress."

Dr. Runner excused himself, leaving me and Lee alone. He led the way back to the waiting room; my parents were there. They stood, asking about Naomi.

"She's going back into surgery," Lee answered. "You guys should go see Benji, I'm gonna stay and wait."

"Lee," my mom placed her hand on his shoulder, "you shouldn't be here alone."

"I'll be fine. I just want to be here when she wakes up," he sat down, sighing deeply.

"We'll be by," my dad said, "call us if you need anything."

"Yeah, thanks," Lee nodded. "Tell Amy I'm fine."

"Sure. You don't need anything?" My mom kept her eyes on him.

"I'm good, Dale," Lee nodded to himself, "I'm gonna go get some coffee soon."

"Take care of yourself," my dad told him.

"I am. I'm just gonna wait for Naomi."

I hated the thought of leaving Lee by himself. He looked so beaten down and scared. I went over and sat beside him, "I'll be back, Lee. I don't want you to be here by yourself."

He looked at me, "Thanks, Pete, but I'll be okay. You should take care of Benji, don't worry 'bout me."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," he said sternly; he smiled just slightly, "now, go."

I stood and patted his shoulder, "See ya."

Lee waved at us as we left. I had seen him get up and pace before heading towards the cafeteria.

The drive to Naomi's parents was short and quiet. We all went inside, the sound of cartoons was on and I could hear Amy talking to someone on the phone. My parents stopped in the dining room, where Amy was, to talk. I went to the living room, finding Benji on the couch, cuddled with a blanket. I went over and sat down, "Benny, hey little dude."

Benji looked up at me and then sat up; he pushed the blanket away and hurried over to my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck, "You lied."

"I lied?" I rubbed his back, "About what?"

"You di'n't answ'a the phone."

I shut my eyes and hugged him, "I'm so sorry, Benny."

"Why?" He asked.

"I don't know why. I was tired and I didn't know. I'm so sorry that you went through that. Are you mad at me?"

"No," he murmured.

"I wish this hadn't of happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Benji hugged me tighter; "Is mommy dead?"

I pulled back and looked at him; he put his hands on my shoulders, "No, mommy's not dead and she's not gonna die."

"Is Lewy a'kay?" He asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, he's okay."

"Can I see him?"

"Soon, I promise. You'll see mommy too, they just have to get better."

"Are you gon' stay?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Can we go home?"

I shrugged, "I don't think so."

"But our fish!" He frowned, "They's alone!"

I bit at my lip, "I have to ask--"

"Pete," Amy said my name as she came in with my parents, "the police just called me, they want to talk to Benji, if you'll allow it."

I looked at Benji, who frowned; "Are you okay with talking to a cop, Benji?"

"About mommy?"

"Yeah."

He was silent, then, he asked, "Will you be there?"

"Yeah, of course I will. I'll be in the room with you."

He nodded slowly, "Okay."

I looked back at Amy; she and my parents sat down; "When?"

She exhaled, "They're coming over now. They wanted to see him anyway."

"What do they want to know?"

"Just what he saw..." her eyes grew glossy, "excuse me. I have to check on Abigail."

Amy got up and left the room; my mom stood and followed after her, "Amy..."

My dad came over and sat next to me, "How are you, Benjamin?"

Benji looked at my dad, "I miss mommy and Lewy."

"They miss you too," my dad told him, rubbing his back, "you'll see them soon."

"Can you check the fishies, grandpa?" He asked. "They's all alone."

"We'll see what the police officers say, alright?"

"'Kay."

Benji didn't say anything more, he was quiet and resting in my lap. Not too long later, 2 uniformed officers arrived. Amy had let them in, my mom was comforting her and Abbey. Amy offered them coffee or water and they refused; they greeted us, wanting me and Benji to come into the dining room.

The female officer had taken her coat and hat off, the other was male and doing the same. They sat across from us, Benji stayed in my arms and lap. The female officer looked at us, shaking for dark hair back, "I'm Officer Winters and this my partner, Officer Jennings. I'm just going ask him a few questions...nothing too aggressive."

I nodded, "Okay...I just, y'know, don't want him to freak out."

"I get it," she smiled softly. Her eyes slipped down to Benji, who was playing with the plastic placemat in front of us. "Hello Benjamin, do you remember me? I met you early this morning."

"Uh-huh," he mumbled.

"How old are you?" She asked. "I never got to ask you, honey."

"I'm 3," he said, "how old is you?"

She hummed a soft laugh, "I'm 32."

"My mommy is 2-7. My big brother is 5."

"That's right," she nodded. "Now, I know you're very smart for your age, aren't you?"

"I can read," he announced, "mommy helps."

"Your mommy is amazing, isn't she?" He nodded vigorously. "You love her, don't you?"

"Lots. I miss her."

"You want to help us figure this all out, Benjamin--"

"Mommy call me Benji," he told her.

"Oh," she nodded quickly, "Right. Benji; you want to help us figure this out so we can help your mommy?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Great! Officer Jennings is going to write this all down so we'll know. Can you tell us what happened last night?"

Officer Jennings opened a notepad and got out a black ink pen. I watch him open to a fresh page and watch us.

"I don't remember," Benji said softly, looking down.

The officers were quiet. Then Officer Winters cleared her throat, "What don't you remember?"

He shrugged, eyes still down.

"Do you remember Robert coming in the house?"

Benji looked up, "Loud. Like "boom!""

"Did he say anything?"

He nodded, "He says bad words and he grabbed my mommy's hair. He had a big knife and cut her hair."

"What happened after that?"

Benji looked at me and then at Officer Winters, "He stuck it in her tummy and then she screamed really loud. She tell us to run and hide."

"Where did you hide?"

"I di'n't. I called daddy, but he didn't answ'a. Lewy made me go under the bed. Me and him was there for a long time."

"What made you get out from under the bed?"

"Mommy was screamin' loud and Lewy wan'd help her...I went too," he paused, "mommy was on the floor and she was crying and Robert was kickin' her. Mommy pushed him 'nd he fell, then she got up, but she fell. She tell us to hide again and Lewy put me in the closet and went to help mommy."

"When did you call your daddy?"

"When Lewy put me in the closet. I had the iPad so I can call him."

I cut in, "I have the video on my phone," I grabbed it from my pocket, "Here, I don't know how it recorded."

Officer Winters took my phone, forwarding the video to herself, and then handed the phone back to me, "Thank you."

I nodded shortly.

"Now, Benji," she went on, "what happened after you called your dad?"

"He di'n't answ'a. I went to get Lewy, coz I was scared...I saw him on the floor 'nd mommy was screamin' 'n' Robert had a gun and mommy was sayin' stuff. Lewy tell me to hide, I went back in the closet," he sighed, "'nd then I heard a BOOM, 'n' more BOOM-BOOM."

We were all silent, except for Officer Jennings jotting down in his notepad.

Officer Jennings asked, "Why did you leave the closet, Benji?"

Benji nodded, "I was scared. I waited a long time. 'Nd then I went to see if mommy was okay; I touched her, an' she was bleedin' lots. Lewy was in the kit'chen 'n' said his han' was hurtin'. He tell me to go see if mommy was a'kay 'n' I did 'nd I shake her awake. She tell me to go call for help; her phone was in the livin' room, 'nd I called Ricky coz mommy says if I need help I call Ricky."

"What did you tell Ricky?"

Benji rubbed his eyes and yawned before continuing, "I said mommy was hurted 'n' Lewy was too. Ricky came over 'nd then the police came too."

"Is that all that happened, Benji?" Officer Winters asked.

He nodded, "Uh-huh."

Both officers sighed and then thanked us. Said they'd be in touch if they needed anything else. Then, Officer Winters gave me a card for a child psychologist; "Just in case he or Lewis have nightmares."

"Thanks," I mumbled before slipping it into my jeans pocket.

Benji gave a big yawn, "I'm hungry."

"Yeah, me too," I carried him off to the living room to tell everyone we were starving.


After we ate and told everyone how the little interview went, I went back to the hospital with Benji, to see Lewy. It was late, and my parents urged me to just go see how he was. Benji insisted on coming to see Lewy.

When we got to his recovery room, I found Lee already visiting him. Lewy was asleep, though; his arm was hung in a sling. My little boy looked exhausted.

Benji rushed over to the bed, his hand touching the IV in Lewy's left hand, "Lewy?"

"He's asleep," Lee told Benji softly, "he was so tired, Benny."

"Is my brother okay, Papa?"

Lee smiled softly, "Your brother is just fine."

I went over, pulling the chair over so Benji and me could sit. Lewy mumbled something in his sleep; Benji sat up, climbing onto the bed. Benji looked at him and crawled over to lay beside him, slipping under the IV.

This caused Lewy to stir awake, "Hmm?"

"Hi Lewy," Benji sat up, "do ya feel okay?"

Lewy blinked and then nodded, "I feel sleepy."

I sat up and sat Benji on the end of the bed. Lee said, "The doctor said you did good, buddy. You just have to be careful with that cast."

"When can I go home?" His voice was raspy and heavy.

"Tomorrow," I told him, "you'll stay with me at Grandma and Grandpa's."

"Can I see mommy?" He yawned.

"Soon," Benji said, "mommy is gettin' better."

I smiled, "Yeah, bud. Soon."

Lewy sighed softly and rested against the pillows. He, Lee and Benji talked a little before I had the nurse turn on his TV. They watched some cartoons before Lewy fell back asleep; we had been there for about 2 hours.

Benji had frowned that I told him it was late and we had to go, but didn't throw a fit. I kissed the top of Lewy's head and carried Benji out. Lee followed us as we went down stairs, across to the waiting room to see if we could see Naomi.

Lee went over to the nurses station; Benji and me sat, waiting for him to return. It took a few minutes before Dr. Runner came out and talked to him. I sat up, looking over eagerly. Lee ran a hand through his hair and then nodded; Dr. Runner left, returning to the double doors behind him, and then Lee came over.

He sat down and picked Benji up. I leaned over a little, "So...how's everything; Naomi okay?"

Lee just shook his head, "Uh, well..." he looked at me, "I'll tell you later."

"Is it bad?" I whispered.

Lee nodded, "Yeah, it is."