When All Else Fails

We sat there in silence, only the voice of Ryan Adam’s can be heard in the car.

I tapped my fingers to the beat, singing a few lines every once in a while.

“I could be serious but I'm just kiddin' around. I could be anything, anything but sticking around.” We sang in unison. “Love is hell, love is hell.”

“Love is…hell!!” We yelled, earning strange looks from people we passed through since the windows are rolled down.

I shook my head with a grin. “We’re pretty psychotic.”

“Key word being pretty.” Taylor joked.

I shook my head and laughed.

We continued to sing along to whatever was on the CD until we arrived at McDonald’s. As soon as Taylor cut the engine, we practically jumped off the car and walked fast inside. I went to find us a place to sit while Taylor went in line.

I settled for the seats on the corner, since I didn’t like to sit near a lot of people very much. Thank God the place wasn’t packed. I sat there and waited, checking my phone every once in a while even though I know I won’t be seeing anything new.

It only took Taylor a few seconds to spot me before making her way towards me. She placed the tray on the table and sat down. She bought two large fries, we shook everything off its container and put it on top of the tray so we can share it.

Taylor was the first one to strike up a conversation. “So…how’re you and Ian?”

I rolled my eyes. “Like you don’t know.”

She shrugged. “You look miserable to me; I just want to hear from you.”

I gave her an odd look. “What makes you say I’m miserable?” I asked. Am I miserable? Ian’s the perfect boyfriend. He’s smart, funny, caring, and undeniably attractive. And we rarely fight. How can I be miserable?

I can still remember the day when he finally “grew a pair” as his friends said, and asked me out.

”Can you fucking stop fidgeting?!” Taylor exclaimed.

I was unaware that I’ve been doing that for God knows how long since I was so distracted and nervous. Ian was looking in our direction. Not only Ian, but also his friends. And I could only imagine why they’re looking here and what they’re talking about.

Wait, scratch that. I have no God damn idea about why they’re looking here. Or worse, at me.

“Ian’s looking here!” I whisper-yelled at her. “I can feel his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes burning holes on my head! I’m so nervous, why are they looking?” I asked, frantic.

Taylor laughed at how uncomfortable I am. She looked back at them, Ian avoiding her gaze. Making his friends laugh at him. “You’re looking! Don’t look!” I told her. But much to my dismay, she just laughed again. She shook her head before looking back at me. “You’re so crazy, you know that?”

“Someone could have mentioned it to me once or twice.”

Her gaze drifted back to Ian and his friends, only to find them approaching her. “Uh, Ands, I think they’re coming over here.” She hesitated to tell me, already aware of how I would react.

My neck immediately snapped to where she was looking before looking back down to my untouched food and running my fingers nervously through my hair. “Why the fuck are they going here? Holy shit Taylor fucking stab me right now.”

“Relax! Maybe he’s just gonna ask for a… pen… or something?”

“We’re in the god damn cafeteria, Taylor.”

“No shit.” She replied in monotone, yet sarcasm was evident from her voice.

“Well there’s obviously no reason for him to borrow a pen. Shit, Taylor.”

I was so nervous, I swear I could have had a panic attack right there and then. Too bad, I don’t do panic attacks.

I looked down, silently praying that they’re just gonna pass through our table and save myself from humiliation. But not everyone can get what they want.

I thought they finally went away until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I slowly lifted my head, seeing Taylor contain a fit of giggles from escaping her mouth from the corner of my eye.

My gaze traveled from her to the big hand that was still attached to my shoulder, only to realize who it was.

Ian.

Holy. Shit.

“H-hi?”

Maybe Taylor’s right. Maybe he’s gonna borrow a pen… or something. Do yourself a favor and don’t say anything unnecessary, and save yourself from embarrassment. I mentally reminded myself.

A chuckle escaped his thin lips. “Hi.”

I looked down at his hand that was still on my shoulder. He may have noticed me stiffen under his touch so he slowly retracted his hand from it only to hesitantly put it in front of me for a handshake, I suppose.

“I’m Ian.”

I laughed. I probably caught him off guard but I couldn’t help it. Of course, I knew it was him. I only had a crush on him since freshman year; of course I knew who he was. When I composed myself, I shook his hand and nodded. I felt so happy and… just fucking happy. I don’t even know.

“I’m Andrea.”

The corner of his lips curled up into a small smile. “I’m aware.”

My mouth slowly fell agape, “Oh”

He laughed uncomfortably and scratched his neck.

“I-I’m sorry about earlier. For, uh, laughing.”

“It’s okay.” He replied with a cheeky grin.

Silence hung thick on the air before Ian finally decided to speak. “So, do you like movies?”

I almost laughed. “W-what?”

He laughed, probably because of himself, and tousled his hair. “That was stupid.”

I chuckled. “Well, I - …yeah”

His friends roared from laughter, slapping his back. Some of them saying “man up” or “grow a pair” which made me laugh mentally.

“Okay, okay!” He shushed them.

His attention turned back to me. “To save myself from further embarrassment, I’m gonna cut this short.”

“O..kay,”

“Do you wanna go out with me?”

I didn’t know if it was my mind playing tricks on me or if this was actually happening. “Wait, what?”

“Do you wanna go out with me?” He repeated, saying it slower this time.

To say I was shocked was an understatement. “Y-.. I-, yeah. Yeah, I’d love to.” I managed to say.

His face lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah.” I said with a huge grin that matched his.

His friends started hooting and slapping his back again. “Finally, man!” One of them said.

“I’ll pick you up?” He asked, ignoring them.

My eyebrows knitted together. “You know where I live?”

He shrugged and smiled his crooked smile. “I have my connections.”

I laughed before nodding my head. “Eight o’clock?”

“Eight o’clock.”

“How can I say you’re miserable?” She started, “You don’t smile a lot, your aura doesn’t exactly scream ‘happy’ and… I don’t know you’re just not as happy as you are before. Like when we were still in high school.”

“Your point is?”

“I think you’re starting to get bored with your relationship.” She said bluntly.

“W-what? We’ve been together for two years! Why-“

“Exactly. After two years, you’re still not getting any.” She interrupted with a laugh, making a few heads turn to our direction.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Keep it down, will ‘ya? I don’t need everybody else knowing that.” I told her on a hushed town, my cheeks turning a hundred shades of red from embarrassment.

“No need to be embarrassed! You’re like a unicorn, there are barely hundreds of people who are still - pure – in our age.”

“Says the girl who’s never had a boyfriend.”

“Touché.”

We continued to argue about each other’s “love life” – her words, not mine – as we waited for my boyfriend to arrive.

But throughout the whole conversation, her words were stuck in my head. “I think you’re starting to get bored with your relationship.” Am I? I mean, yeah, there are times when I grow tired of the things we do over and over and over again but… I love him. I’m pretty sure I do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have stayed for this long. Isn’t love supposed to be enough?

My train of thought was interrupted, as always, when Taylor started shaking me rather violently. “Ian’s already outside. See you tomorrow.”

“What about those fries?”

“God damn it, Andrea. As long as there’s wifi in this place, I can manage. So, go now!” She insisted.

“Okay, okay! See you tomorrow too.”

I gathered my things before standing up and kissing Taylor on the cheek. I practically ran out of the place and approached Ian, who seemed busy typing on his phone.

I got on my tip toes to reach his cheek. “Hi, babe.” I greeted.

He finally shoved his phone down his back pocket and pecked me on the lips. “Hey.”

We got in the car and sped out of the parking lot. The drive back to Ian’s house was rather fast or it could be just me. After he killed the engine, we exited the car and went inside with his arm around my shoulder.

I threw my exhausted body on their couch while Ian mumbled something about getting changed then went upstairs. I was already on the verge of falling asleep when I felt my phone vibrate.

I sat up and fished it out of my pocket.

”I’ve got news! I’ll call you later.”

It was from Taylor. I hit the keys effortlessly, saying “Okay, this better be good” before pressing the ‘send’ button. I placed it on top of the side table before going back to my previous position on the couch and turned on the TV.

The last thing I remembered was watching a re-run of Hellcats. Then the next thing I knew, a rough hands was already raking through my mess of blonde hair. I lazily opened one eye, seeing Ian’s eyes fixed on the television screen. I sat up, his hand moving to my waist and pulled me closer. He kissed my temple and sighed.

I craned my neck and gave him a look. “What?”

“What?” He mocked.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes jokingly.

“Now don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like… that.” He said, as if I was gonna know what it mean if he said it slower.

I shook my head and laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you love it.” He said in my ear, his breath hot on my skin. I immediately connected my lips with his, kissing him roughly. He instantly crawled on top of me as I laid down, our lips never leaving each other’s.

My fingers got lost in his hair while he steadied himself on top of me.

My hands traveled down from his face to his chest, feeling his toned stomach underneath his shirt making him groan in my mouth.

When my hands started playing with the waistband of his boxers, he pulled away and gave me that look. That look I knew too well. I sighed and sat back up. “Sorry.” I mumbled.

He gave me a small smile before pulling me into his arms. “I’m sorry too.” He laughed.

An awkward chuckle escaped my lips as I tried relaxing my body in his arms. When I finally got comfortable, we just laid there. Cuddling and sneaking a few kisses every once in a while.

Control your damn hormones, Andrea; I reminded myself. His thumb traced small circles on my exposed hip bone due to my shirt that had ridden all the way up to my stomach. But I didn’t mind at all.

I rested my head on his chest, taking in his familiar scent. I closed my eyes and tried to push all my worries and thought to the back of my mind.

“You tired?” Ian asked softly.

“Mmhm,” I said with a nod, not bothering to open my eyes.

He pulled me closer, making my entire body feel warm under his touch. I steadied my breathing, and mentally sang myself to sleep.

Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day. Especially that Taylor’s got ‘news’.