Lost It All

I woke up to a throbbing in my head. The morning sun was shining into my eyes and it made the pain in my head worse even with my eyes closed. I grumbled turning over on my side, opposite of the sun only to be met with a soft but hard cushion pretty much hitting me in the face once I was fully on my side.

I opened my eyes slowly seeing the familiar white cushion that was what looked like our Nadia's couch. My eyebrows knitted in confusion as I looked around the familiar living room of ourNadia's house, wondering just why the hell I was here in the first place.

I racked my brain trying to figure out what I did last night. The last thing I remember was being at Johnny's bar, talking up some girl I had met in the parking lot. I hadn't even thought of bringing a girl home last night but I just went with it.

Soft humming rung in my ears breaking me of my thoughts and I looked around, in search of where the humming was coming from, then seeing the silhouette shadow in the kitchen just a few feet away. Sitting up a little too quickly I groaned as pain throbbed in my head.

"Fucking a." I grunted squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to relieve some of the pain.

"Brian?" Nadia's footsteps patted from the kitchen and I looked up seeing her walking into the living room, a look of worry across her features. She was still in pajamas, which for her was shorts and a t-shirt. "Are you okay?"

"How did I get here?" I asked with a raspy voice. I didn't care if I came off as rude. I had the hangover from hell and I was in no mood to be chipper.

Her features then harden and she huffs heavily, all traces of worry now gone.

"Figures you wouldn't remember coming here last night." she said sourly before turning around and walking back into the kitchen.

I narrowed my eyes in annoyance of her tone. It was too early to fight with her so I was going to try and be nice. So I stood from the couch and walked into the kitchen where she was pulling things from the fridge. Her brown eyes met mine for a second and she went back to pulling things out.

"Hungry?" She inquires as she shuts the fridge door.

"What are you making?" I ask sitting at one of the stools around the island in the middle of the room as I watched her take out various pans.

"Bacon and eggs," My stomach growled after she said that. I guess I was a bit hungry. "Do you want some?"

I nodded, pushing my hand through my shaggy hair and looking at the coffee pot, suddenly gathering a hankering for coffee. "Is the coffee fresh?"

"Mhmm," she hummed as she sprayed the pan with Pam and set it on the stove top.

I went ahead and helped myself. I took note to the fact that everything was still in same places as they were before I left. As I pulled a mug from the cabinet I heard the crack of egg shells hit the counter and the sizzle of the egg hit the pan.

"Over easy?" She asked making me look back at her as she was starting a burner for the bacon.

"Yeah," I turned back to the cup as I poured the black liquid into it.

The phone rang somewhere in the house and I hear Nadia curse and walk across the room to get the phone.

"Hi Sami," She greeted as I turn around and she's back hovering over the stove as she cooks and talks on the phone. "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I just got really sick to my stomach last night and I really needed to leave..."

I didn't think anything of it until; "Yeah you know how I get at Johnny's bar,"

My heart stopped. It all came rushing back to me and I groaned palming my face. I came back here last night instead of going home to my apartment. She took care of me.

I looked back at her as she talked on the phone and cooked our breakfast. I thought of the times before what happened and before she even got pregnant when she would make breakfast for me. We'd play and sometimes I would sit at the bar and watch her.

"Uhh no, don't come- Sami the house is a wreck, I'll just- alright, alright, come on over.." She mutters with a shake of her head. "I'll tell you when you get here, alright, love you too," She hangs up the phone and hit it against her forehead lightly before setting it on the counter.

"Sami's coming over?" I wondered.

"Matt, Liina and Jimmy too, so you can leave if you want," She looked back at me, knowingly and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Why would I leave? They're my friends too..."

"Well you have an odd way of showing it." She turned her body so she was facing me completely.

"Excuse me? I talk to my friends all the damn time, Nadia." I growled, "I may not talk to them as much as I used to but..." I stopped myself thinking of the right words to explain what I'd been doing since I left, but there wasn't anything I could tell her that didn't come out completely pathetic, "I've been busy,"

"Yeah? Busy doing what? Fucking other women behind my back?" My mouth dropped a little, "Yeah, I fucking caught you last night with another girl at Johnny's Bar, Brian, don't tell me you can't remember," Tears were rimming her eyes now and her voice was wavering. "Then you come here, drunk and crying and I fucking.." She hid her face in her hands. "You said you were sorry and I didn't want to believe you because I thought you were just drunk and rambling but when you said you didn't blame me for losing Lily, I really thought it was you," She was crying now, "I guess I was wrong,"

"I.." I was speechless. There wasn't a single thing I could say in that moment that could make our situation any better. I just watched her cry until she looked up at me, her brown eyes now red and puffy.

"I think you better leave," She sighed before turning back to the food cooking on the stove. "Your clothes are on the dryer in the laundry room."

"Nadia-"

"Just go," She cut me off and I winced from the pain I heard in her broken voice and I left before I could see her cry again.