Lost It All

A loud thud woke me from my sleep. My eyes shot open, seeing as I was in my living room. I push myself up from what I assumed was my couch in a sitting position and rubbed my eyes.

“Fuck!” A loud gruff voice screams out from outside making me jump and get off the couch to see what’s causing all the commotion. I scurry to the front door wrapping my hand around the knob and pulling it open to see Brian spread out on the front steps, soaking wet and crying. I gaped at the sight since in all the years I’d known Brian I’ve never once seen him cry like that. But my heart still broke.

“Brian?!” I ran out the door, feeling the rain begin to drench me but I didn’t care. I needed to get him inside before he caught a cold.

Even if I really disliked him right now I still cared.

I pulled him up, cupping his cheeks in my hands and slapping him slightly to try and keep him awake. “Brian, c’mon! We have to get you inside!” I told him as I draped his arm around my shoulder to hoist him up. I’m able to drag him inside the house while he mumbles and cries incoherent nothings into the air.

We barely make it to the couch where we both collapse on the cushions and I’m practically on top of him. I go to pull myself off but he holds me tightly by my arms. “B-Baby I’m sorry” He slurs, tears still pouring down his cheeks but I just shrugged from his hold and pulled him back up and walked him to the bathroom. “Shh..” I hushed him while he still cried.

Once we got inside the bathroom I sat him on the toilet (lid down) and went to get towels but he grabbed me and pulled me back, “D-Don’t go,” He slurred again weakly, “stay with me please.”

“Just let me get some towels okay? Stay here.” I murmured, standing up and walking into the hall way where the closet with our towels and such were. I pulled out two or three, and ran back seeing as Brian was in the same spot I left him in the bathroom. I hurried toward him as I set the towels down. He began to shiver and I knew I had to get him out of his clothes. He continued to mumble things in the air which I tried not to pay attention to because I knew that even though he was apologizing and telling me he loved me in his drunk state, he didn’t really mean it. It was all just nonsense and I wasn’t going to fall for it.

I tugged off his leather jacket, tossing it on the bathroom floor next to me and I went to work on his shirt. I pulled it up over his head as he mindlessly raised his arms so I could pull it off easier. I then pulled him up to his feet so I could work on his belt and jeans.

“Kick off your shoes, Bri,” I mumbled, and he did as he was told and kicked them to the side. I unbuckled his belt and jeans, and shoved them down his legs. A blush painted itself on my cheeks once I saw he wasn’t wearing any boxers but it didn’t bother me as much since I’ve seen his penis countless times before and this was no different.

Once his jeans were off I quickly wrapped a large towel around his waist. He was still shivering so I took it upon myself to rub his arms a little to give off some sort of warmth. He looked back at me with his red puffy eyes. His cheeks were tear-stained and the tears were still falling. I bit my lip seeing the red spot above his eyebrow that would probably be bruised tomorrow.

“I-I didn’t sleep with her,” He mumbled through chattering teeth, making me look back at him, my eyebrow raised. He seemed to have sobered up a little bit but he still had that glazed look in his eyes.

“Who?”

“The girl at the bar,” He said softly, “I didn’t sleep with her.”

I huffed, knowing what girl he was talking about and just shook my head not wanting to think about that right now. “Let’s just get you ready for bed okay?”

“N-no I think I should go back to my place.” He shook his head with a frown.

“You’re not leaving this house, Brian. It’s pouring rain out and you’re probably going to have a cold. Why make it worse?” I asked, pulling him to our my bedroom to get him a pair of pajamas he still had here.

“Where will I sleep?” He asked, defeated knowing I was right about making him stay, as he sat on the bed, watching me while I took out an old t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants and walked back over to him.

“I’ll make a little bed area on the couch for you while you’re getting dressed.” I shrugged, then walking to the closet to grab some blankets and a pillow.

He doesn’t say anything, just starts to dress and I leave the room with the blankets to give him some privacy.

A small part of me felt bad about making him sleep on the couch. But there was no way I would let him sleep with me knowing what he’s done with other girls. It made me sick to my stomach to think about and I wasn’t going to let that slide so easily.

Once I lay out the sheet and blanket, I hear Brian walk into the room. I look over seeing he’s in his pajamas but he’s still shivering a bit. He walks over glancing at me before he lies down and I pull the blankets over his shoulders to help him warm up a little more.

“Do you need another blanket?” I asked. He shook his head no, and I nodded with an “Okay” and went to walk to the bedroom so I could get some sleep, but I feel him grab my arm and pull me back.

“Nadia,” He murmurs as I look back at him.

“Yeah?”

“I-I don’t blame you for losing Lily…” He said and I felt my stomach drop. I took a shaky breath, just nodding as I turned on my heel and rushed to my room, shutting the door behind me before any tears could leak out.