You Don't Know Me

The time had come and both Jordan and Taylor stood with me as I approached security, where I’d be left.

“It’s not too late to turn around” Taylor said.

I laughed, “I know bud. I never thought of all people that you actually want me to stay”

He shrugged, “It’s been…interesting having you here. You always make things an adventure. But I think we grew a lot closer through all of this”

I nodded in agreement, “I think we did, even in such a short time”

“I’m going to miss you Jules”

“I’ll miss you Tay Tay” I knew he hated the name, but he hugged me anyways.

“Call me when you land, okay?” he asked.

“I will”

He left me there to say my final goodbye to Jordan. I didn’t know what I was going to say, or do. I was nervous to leave him.

“You have a safe flight, okay?”

I nodded, “I will”

“Call me when you land too?”

I knew Taylor would tell him, but to reassure him, I agreed to call him as soon as I landed.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for Julie”

I nodded, “So do I”

He wrapped his arms around me, and it was a long time since I had had real contact with him, and it felt good. Safe. I didn’t want to let him go. I squeezed him tighter and did everything I could to fight the tears back.

“I’m going to miss you” he whispered, “You have no idea”

I didn’t answer him. I felt my bag drop out of my hand and I wrapped around him tighter, getting as close to him as I possibly could. I felt a tear or two drop, but I held the others back as best as I could. He pulled away from me, after what felt like hours, and took a step back, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

I nodded, “Okay”

He reached across and wiped another tear away with his thumb, and let his hand rest there for a moment. Everything seemed to tune out. My eyes stayed fixed on his and then I felt his hand slowly fall away.

“Kick ass” I said, which made him laugh a little.

“You know I will”

“You’ll lift that Stanley Cup someday. I believe in you”

“Then I have nothing to worry about”

“Goodbye Jordan” I picked up my bag and threw it over my shoulder this time.

“Goodbye Julie”

He smiled at me just before he turned his back towards me and met Taylor down a bit further, out of earshot. I stood there, frozen. How can two months with someone make it so hard to say goodbye?

Something inside me suddenly clicked.

“No.” I mumbled to myself and dropped my bag again, running in the direction I saw them go. I spotted the back of them and then unaware of anyone who stared at me, I yelled his name, “Jordan!” both him and Taylor heard it and they both turned around.

“Julie, what are you—“ and before Jordan could finish, I kissed him. He was surprised at first, but I felt his body lean into me and then his hands gripped my waist, while mine wrapped around his neck. I pulled away from him and took a breath before staring up at him, “I don’t know what triggered it, maybe it was hearing you say goodbye, but I couldn’t bear to hear you ever say those words to me like that again. Like it would be the last time I’d ever see you. It won’t be. I love you. No, I don’t just love you, I am completely and insanely in love with you. You’re it. I choose you”

I watched the smile light up his face and he wrapped his arms around me, tightly. I heard a few whistles around the airport, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t care who knew it. I didn’t care what it would mean.

“Does that mean you’re staying?”

I looked around and then looked up at the screen. My flight left in an hour, “I need to see my parents”

He looked upset but I placed my hand on his cheek and spoke, “Two weeks. Give me two weeks and I’m yours”

He sighed and nodded and then I kissed him again. When I pulled away, Taylor pulled me in for a hug, “I love you Julie”

“I love you too. I’ll be back soon”

I pecked Jordan on the lips and ran back to my luggage, grabbed my bag and got through security.
As the plane took off, I watched Edmonton disappear, but not for long. I knew that this place had quickly become my home and now that I knew who I wanted, that was it. Everything I needed was in that city.

I don’t know what will happen, what fights we’ll have, what adventures we’ll encounter or what obstacles, but I do know that I love him, I always have. It just took hearing his goodbye for me to realize that. I never want to hear those words out of his mouth again. And I never want to say them to him.

I thought it was them who didn’t know me. I thought nobody understood me or what I was going through. But all along it was me who didn’t know myself, who didn’t understand. Now I finally do and he always did.