Show My Cards, Gave You My Heart

A rush of nausea flowed through my system. I rushed to the bathroom and fell to my knees in front of the toilet to get violently sick. Throwing up was now old to me after three times today and I couldn't take it anymore. I flushed the mess and got up, journeying to the sink to brush my teeth.

Fuck it.

Once I had the foul taste out of my mouth, I pulled open a drawer full of razors, tampons, Midol, and toothbrushes to search for that one item I was looking for. At the bottom, hidden underneath all of my feminine products, was the small white box I was looking for. An extra pregnancy test.

As I checked the bathroom door to make sure it was locked, I pulled the white stick out of the box and read the directions carefully. I took the test as the directions said to and set the test on the counter. I slipped down to the floor and rested against the cabinet to wait the five minutes I had for the test to be effective.

I leaned my head back against the cabinet and stared at the ceiling, listening to guitar riffs coming from downstairs in the garage. Alex and Josh were fucking with instruments and were jamming together. Alex was working on writing songs with him too for his band, You Me At Six. That gave me some peaceful time alone.

I looked at the clock on the wall, seeing that it had been five minutes. I took a deep breath and sighed, standing up to my feet. Once I had my balance, I picked up the test and glared at it for a minute. A small pink plus sign boldly stood out, causing me to grow weak in the knees. Positive.

I was fucking screwed now. I couldn't be pregnant again. Not this soon anyway. Madalynn will just be one in a couple of weeks. She wasn't even walking yet. There's no damn way. What's Alex going to think? Is he going to bail on me this time? No, don't think like that. He stayed with you the first time in high school. He didn't leave you the second time with Madi either. Just don't think like that, Haley! I was panicking.

"Haley?" I heard a knock on the door. I jumped and dropped the stick into the sink, not bothering to pick it up. I walked to the door and opened it, seeing my sister outside of it. "What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Nothing, I'm just tired." I lied, walking past her. I sat down on the bed and sighed, flopping back into it.

"Haley, you're a bad liar." she shook her head, setting down next to me. "What's up?"

"Bella, if I tell you, can you do me a huge favor and not tell Alex?" I sighed.

"God, you're not cheating on the poor boy are you?"

"No!" I groaned, flopping over to my stomach. "I'm pregnant again." I mumbled into the pillow.

"What? Seriously?" she gasped. "When did you find out?!"

"Like two fucking minutes ago."

"Okay smart ass."

"That's what the test said. I'm fucking pregnant and I'm probably going to die."

"Why?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Alex is going to kill me." I shook my head, thinking to the last time we had sex. In March, on the bathroom floor of the recording studio in Los Angeles when All Time Low's album was being worked on. The day I got my memory back. The condom broke and I insisted he carried on without one. Yeah, he was definitely going to kill me.

"Why's he gonna kill you?"

"Because I'm an idiot." I sighed. "We were getting busy on the bathroom floor of the recording studio. The condom broke and I insisted he carried on because I was on birth control. Birth control that's apparently defective."

"Haley just- hey guys." she said, smiling at Josh and Alex, who ran into the room.

Alex jumped on the bed and laid on top of me, tickling my sides. "Alex, stop!" I slapped his hands away. I was on the verge of crying and not in the mood for his childish games.

He listened to me and got off, setting down on the other side of the bed. He picked up my tiny body and held me into his arms. "You okay, love?"

"I'm fine." I quietly said.

Bella flashed me a smile and stood up. "Josh, lets go home. I'm tired." she said, tugging on her fiance's hand.

"Okay." he nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alex. Later Haley."

"Later Josh. Bye Bella."

"Bye Alex, bye Haley." she waved, pulling Josh out of the room.

Alex leaned back and held me tight, caressing my back. I cuddled up against him and pressed my lips to his jaw. "I love you, Alex."

"I love you too, baby. I still would like to know what's going on." he replied, giving me a white smile.

"I don't know what's going on Alex, I'm confused right now." I frowned.

"I found something when I was downstairs that might cheer you up." he sat up, reaching for something he laid on the nightstand.

It was my binder from junior year. I smiled as he placed it in my lap, running my fingers across the front of it. It was covered in profanity, thanks to Alex. It was covered with stick figures giving each other blowjobs, stick figures with boners, cute little things he wrote on it to make me smile back then. It even stated 'Haley Noel + Alexander William, together forever. I looked up at him and smiled, leaning in for a kiss.

"Alex, I miss this." I giggled, opening up binder. I found old graded papers in it. I stared at it blankly before shuffling it off to the side.

"God, you were so terrible at math." he laughed and kissed my ear.

"I know. That's why I cheated off of you all the time."

"And you want to be a teacher?"

"Yeah, I do!" I giggled. "Speaking of that! I have an application to Towson University."

"You're gonna apply and start in the fall?"

"Yeah. I have it filled out and it's ready to hit the mail on Monday."

"I'm excited for you, love." he gave me a tight squeeze. "You'll be a successful teacher and I'll be a renowned rockstar."

"Promise to come in with your guitar and play songs for the kids?" I gave him a puppy dog face.

"I'll do what I can." he kissed my cheek.

I got a cramp and I buckled over in pain. "Eh, ow."

"It's that time of month. Time to make fun of you about it."

"Shut up, no it's not." I sighed, remembering my problem. "Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"How much do you love me?"

He gave me a thoughtful expression. "A lot. With all my heart."

"Well, can I tell you something?" I bit my lip nervously.

"You can always tell me anything." he said, pulling off his shirt.

"Alex, I'm nervous."

"What are you nervous about, baby?"

"I've been getting sick a lot lately." I sighed. "No Alex, I don't need a doctor. I know what's up."

He stared at me for a moment. "And?"

"Alex, I think I might be pregnant." I said in a mid whisper.

He tensed up and looked at his hands. "Well this changes things. I'm nervous too now."

"I gathered that." I quietly said, crawling into his lap. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." he said, pressing his lips to mine. "I love you, and we're gonna make it through this."