A Kiss Before She Goes
Chapter 18
On the 18th I called Quinn for his birthday and sent him money for a new guitar he’d been saving up for. In February I sent Bert a birthday gift and got an excited call from him. He was laughing, crying and yelling. I was on the phone with him for about two hours. It felt so good to actually have a conversation with him. April 9th was Gerard’s birthday and what a birthday it was. We basically partied all night, drinking in his basement with a couple of his friends. We woke up with massive hang overs and empty bottles everywhere. It was so worth it. Months went by so quickly that school was almost over.
Today was June 9th, my birthday. I got woken up by the boy’s singing happy birthday next to my bed. They had roses, balloons and candy in their hands. I covered my face with my pillow blushing and to hide my messy hair. Frank removed the pillow laughing.
“You guys suck.” I said softly laughing.
“We suck? We bring you flowers; balloons, candy and we suck?” Frank asked acting insulted.
“Shut up, you know what I mean.” I said laughing throwing my pillow at him. He was about to throw it back at me but Gerard stopped him.
“Be nice to the birthday girl.” Gerard said taking the pillow from Frank and throwing it on the bed.
“Thank you Gee!” I giggled and stuck my tongue out at Frank. He did the same back to me.
“No problem. We’ll leave the flowers here.” He said putting the vase of white and red roses on my night stand. Mikey put the balloons next to them and Ray put the candy on my desk. They all hugged and kissed me telling me happy birthday.
“Now get up and get ready! We have a lot to do today.” Frank said smiling.
“Like what?” I asked fixing my bed hair.
“You’ll see.” Gerard said winking at me. I laughed as they left my room so I could get ready. I got up and smelled the roses. There was a small card in them and I picked it up reading it.
To our favorite girl in the world:
We hope all your wishes come true.
Love, your boys <3
I smiled putting the card on my night stand. The balloons were all red and purple; my favorite colors. Some said ‘Happy Birthday’ and one said ‘It’s A Girl’. I laughed knowing Frank must of put that one in there. I looked at the desk and saw all my favorite candy; sour patch kids, gummy worms, recesses’ cups, and peanut m&m’s. I took a shower and got dressed. I threw on a white with black stripes off the shoulder shirt, blue mini shorts, and black flats.
I went upstairs to be greeted by my parents and the boys sitting at the dining table with breakfast ready. I smiled wide, feeling like a princess, spoiled. My mom stood up hugging me.
“Mi hija! Que grande estas! Ya no es uno niña.” She said with tearing welling up in her eyes.
“Mom, stop. You’re going to make me cry.” I said laughing.
“Feliz cumpleaños.” She said hugging me. My dad stood up and gave me a big bear hug, lifting me off the ground. I giggled as he put me down.
“Happy Birthday sweetie.” He said kissing my forehead.
“Thanks dad.” I took a seat next to my mom and Frank. My mom had made my favorites: chocolate chip pancakes, turkey bacon, hash browns and scrambled white eggs with diced tomatoes and spinach. There was fresh squeezed orange juice and coffee. We all ate until we were ready to burst. I sat in the living room as they all cleaned up. They didn’t let me do any cleaning.
Once they finished cleaning up I said goodbye to my parents and went out with the boys, to where ever they were taking me. After driving around for half an hour we stopped at a carnival. My eyes went wide and I jumped in my seat.
“Oh my God!” I yelled getting out of the car and looking at the huge Ferris wheel. “I want to go on all the rides!”
I grabbed Frank’s hand pulling him to the entrance. The boy’s laughed at how childish I was acting. We got our tickets and we walked around looking at the booths. We went straight to the rides before playing the games. We all went on the roller coaster many times, the swing around, screaming swing and teacups. I wanted to save the Ferris wheel last so the boy’s played some games to win me stuff. Gerard won me a small black teddy bear with a red tie in a game of duck shooting. Mikey won a white unicorn in a game of throwing rings in bottles. Ray won a lion in a game of bean toss and Bob won a penguin in a game of darts. Frank played a basketball game five times just to win me a Jack Skellington doll. He was so determined to win me it and when he did I gave him a kiss thanking him. As it got late, we finally went on the Ferris wheel. I went up with Frank, Gerard with Mikey and Ray with Bob. As it went up and stopped at the top, I looked down below smiling.
“Wow.” I said softly.
“Having a good time?” Frank asked smiling at me.
“Yes! I’m so happy. Thank you Frank.” I said hugging him.
“Anything for you.” He said pulling me to him and kissing me. It felt so perfect being up there with him in his arms, kissing. I didn’t want this moment to end.
“I love you Rose.” Frank said softly. Chills ran up my body.
“I love you too Frankie.” I kissed him smiling into the kiss.
Too perfect.
Once we got down, we all went home to the Way’s house. Ms. Way hugged me and told me happy birthday. She made diner so we all sat down and ate. She bought a small cake and they sang happy birthday for me. I blew out the candle making a wish. When we finished cleaning up she went to her room and we went down to the basement. Frank sat next to me on the couch playing with Pansy. He loved that guitar. As we were talking about the carnival, my phone rang. I looked to see Natasha calling me. I picked up expecting to hear her screaming happy birthday but instead was greeted with Bert’s voice.
“Put the phone on speaker now and don’t ask why!” He yelled. I looked at my phone confused and did what he said. I could hear him mumbling something to someone and some shuffling of movement. The boy’s looked at me confused and I just shrugged my shoulders laughing softly.
“Hey An.” Quinn’s voice spoke.
“Hey Quinn, what’s going on?” I asked laughing.
“Well first, we’re sorry for not calling earlier but we spent all day trying to finish this song for you.”
“Oh?” I asked curious.
“This song is our birthday present for you and Bert wants to play it for you now.”
I gasped in joy. “Really? You guys are amazing! What’s the name of the song?”
“Blue and Yellow.” Bert answered.
“Ok, I’m ready!” I said smiling at my phone. The sound of piano and acoustic guitar came out of the phone. Bert’s soft voice started to sing.
‘And it's all in how you mix the two,
And it starts just where the light exists.
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole,
Through everyone that feels it.
Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it,
Won't come your way,yeah
Well you'll never find it,
If you're looking for it. (looking for it)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking,
Rather waste some time with you.
And you never would have thought in the end,
How amazing it feels just to live again,
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole, through everyone that feels it.
Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it, won't come your way, yeah
Well you'll never find it, if you're looking for it. (looking for it)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.
Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste some time with you.
(Time with you... time with you... time with you
Waste some time with you... waste some time with you...)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste my time with you.
Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste my time with you.
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.
Waste some time with you... (x7)
(fading)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.’
Tears ran down my face like a waterfall. I couldn’t hold them back. I could feel Frank’s hand behind my back trying to comfort me but it didn’t help me cry less. That song had so much meaning to me that nobody knew about. The struggles I went through with Bert and his drug problems were something I’d never forget and regret doing.
“Bells?” Bert’s worried voice broke the silence in the room. I tried calming my sobs by covering my mouth with my hand but failed. “Shit! We made her cry!”
“No…” I breathed deeply calming down. “No, Bert I loved it. Just brought back a lot of memories… the good and the bad.”
“I’m sorry....” He said softly.
“Don’t be. Bert, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.” I said finally calming down and smiling softly at the phone. I could hear some sniffling and I knew he was crying. “Hey Bert?”
“Y-yeah?” His voice broke.
“Thank you for the song. I love you and miss you so much.”
“I love you too Bells. Please come back soon…” He said trying hard not to cry. I could feel myself want to cry again too but I held it back.
“I will, don’t worry.” I said laughing softly. I could feel Frank’s hand stiffen and drop back to his side.
“Ok no more crying!” Natasha’s voice spoke. “Let’s just tell her happy birthday and leave this poor girl alone.”
“Bitch, why are you so bossy?” Branden said making me laugh and earning him a smack from Natasha. “Ow!”
“Happy birthday An.” Quinn said.
“Happy birthday Belladonna!” Natasha yelled.
“Happy birthday Rosy.” Branden said.
“Happy birthday Bells.” Bert said happily, feeling better now. There was a silence as I waited for Jepha to speak next. I could hear some whispering and mumbling then a loud smack, followed by a ‘Fuck!’
“I’m sorry Belladonna, but lover boy here, got shy all of a sudden.” Natasha said clearly mad at him.
“It’s okay Nat. He doesn’t need to say anything.” I said feeling a bit sad. Just as I was going to say goodbye, Jepha spoke.
“Rosa?”
“Yeah?” I sighed softly just wanting to go home and go to bed already. I was thinking too much right now.
“Happy birthday my love.” He said softly. I was shocked and slightly annoyed he called me my love. I wasn’t his girlfriend anymore.
“Thank you.” I said rubbing my forehead. I had a small headache from crying. “Thanks again guys. I’m glad you called. I love you all so much. Goodnight.”
I could hear them all say I love you back and goodnight. I hung up and sighed rubbing my forehead again. I got up tired as hell. I saw everyone looking at me with worried eyes.
“Thank you guy’s for today. I really had an amazing time.” I said smiling softly.
“No problem Annie.” Ray said standing up and hugging me. I hugged Mikey and Bob saying thank you and goodnight. As I hugged Gerard, he held me longer rocking me side to side.
“Talk to me tomorrow if you want. Don’t hold it in Bella.” He whispered in my ear. I nodded my head smiling at him. I turned around to see Frank still sitting on the couch looking at his hands.
“Frank, can you walk with me?” I asked. He looked up, nodding his head and getting up. He put away Pansy and went upstairs without saying anything. I grabbed the bag that had all the stuff animals from today and said goodbye to everyone as I walked upstairs. Frank was outside on the porch smoking a cigarette with one of his hands in his pocket. He didn’t say anything as we walked home together. He didn’t even walk me to my front door when we arrived to my house. We just stood in front of the white fence in silence.
“Rose?” He was looking at his feet.
“Yeah Frank?”
“Why did you lie to me?”
“What do you mean?” I asked confused.
“He said ‘my love’. You said there wasn’t anyone else you liked.” He was still looking down.
“And there still isn’t. Jepha is my ex and I guess he still thinks we’ll get back together but I know we won’t.” I said looking at the top of his head, wanting him to look at me.
“Well I guess it doesn’t really matter since you’re leaving.” He said coldly finally looking at me. “Right?”
“I don’t know Frank.”
“Was that your plan the whole time? Go back to Utah?” He was slightly raising his voice now.
“Yes it was but then I met you and that changed everything. I love you guys so much.”
“Then stay!” I jumped scared of his sudden outburst. “If you love us so much then stay with us here.”
“I want to but I love them too. Bert needs me and I can’t abandon him…” I said softly, wanting to cry again.
“I need you. Please choose to stay Rose.” He said softly begging me.
“I can’t decide right now Frank. I’m sorry…” The tears were welling up. He looked hurt, frustrated and finally giving up. He threw his arms up shaking his head.
“Fine. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.” He said coldly.
“Frank, please un-“
“No! Don’t even bother to explain anymore. Just leave me alone Rose.” He started walking slowly to his house. I began to cry feeling more torn apart than ever.
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Mi hija! Que grande estas! Ya no es uno niña. - My daughter! How big you are! You're no longer a little girl.
Feliz cumpleaños - Happy birthday.
Today was June 9th, my birthday. I got woken up by the boy’s singing happy birthday next to my bed. They had roses, balloons and candy in their hands. I covered my face with my pillow blushing and to hide my messy hair. Frank removed the pillow laughing.
“You guys suck.” I said softly laughing.
“We suck? We bring you flowers; balloons, candy and we suck?” Frank asked acting insulted.
“Shut up, you know what I mean.” I said laughing throwing my pillow at him. He was about to throw it back at me but Gerard stopped him.
“Be nice to the birthday girl.” Gerard said taking the pillow from Frank and throwing it on the bed.
“Thank you Gee!” I giggled and stuck my tongue out at Frank. He did the same back to me.
“No problem. We’ll leave the flowers here.” He said putting the vase of white and red roses on my night stand. Mikey put the balloons next to them and Ray put the candy on my desk. They all hugged and kissed me telling me happy birthday.
“Now get up and get ready! We have a lot to do today.” Frank said smiling.
“Like what?” I asked fixing my bed hair.
“You’ll see.” Gerard said winking at me. I laughed as they left my room so I could get ready. I got up and smelled the roses. There was a small card in them and I picked it up reading it.
To our favorite girl in the world:
We hope all your wishes come true.
Love, your boys <3
I smiled putting the card on my night stand. The balloons were all red and purple; my favorite colors. Some said ‘Happy Birthday’ and one said ‘It’s A Girl’. I laughed knowing Frank must of put that one in there. I looked at the desk and saw all my favorite candy; sour patch kids, gummy worms, recesses’ cups, and peanut m&m’s. I took a shower and got dressed. I threw on a white with black stripes off the shoulder shirt, blue mini shorts, and black flats.
I went upstairs to be greeted by my parents and the boys sitting at the dining table with breakfast ready. I smiled wide, feeling like a princess, spoiled. My mom stood up hugging me.
“Mi hija! Que grande estas! Ya no es uno niña.” She said with tearing welling up in her eyes.
“Mom, stop. You’re going to make me cry.” I said laughing.
“Feliz cumpleaños.” She said hugging me. My dad stood up and gave me a big bear hug, lifting me off the ground. I giggled as he put me down.
“Happy Birthday sweetie.” He said kissing my forehead.
“Thanks dad.” I took a seat next to my mom and Frank. My mom had made my favorites: chocolate chip pancakes, turkey bacon, hash browns and scrambled white eggs with diced tomatoes and spinach. There was fresh squeezed orange juice and coffee. We all ate until we were ready to burst. I sat in the living room as they all cleaned up. They didn’t let me do any cleaning.
Once they finished cleaning up I said goodbye to my parents and went out with the boys, to where ever they were taking me. After driving around for half an hour we stopped at a carnival. My eyes went wide and I jumped in my seat.
“Oh my God!” I yelled getting out of the car and looking at the huge Ferris wheel. “I want to go on all the rides!”
I grabbed Frank’s hand pulling him to the entrance. The boy’s laughed at how childish I was acting. We got our tickets and we walked around looking at the booths. We went straight to the rides before playing the games. We all went on the roller coaster many times, the swing around, screaming swing and teacups. I wanted to save the Ferris wheel last so the boy’s played some games to win me stuff. Gerard won me a small black teddy bear with a red tie in a game of duck shooting. Mikey won a white unicorn in a game of throwing rings in bottles. Ray won a lion in a game of bean toss and Bob won a penguin in a game of darts. Frank played a basketball game five times just to win me a Jack Skellington doll. He was so determined to win me it and when he did I gave him a kiss thanking him. As it got late, we finally went on the Ferris wheel. I went up with Frank, Gerard with Mikey and Ray with Bob. As it went up and stopped at the top, I looked down below smiling.
“Wow.” I said softly.
“Having a good time?” Frank asked smiling at me.
“Yes! I’m so happy. Thank you Frank.” I said hugging him.
“Anything for you.” He said pulling me to him and kissing me. It felt so perfect being up there with him in his arms, kissing. I didn’t want this moment to end.
“I love you Rose.” Frank said softly. Chills ran up my body.
“I love you too Frankie.” I kissed him smiling into the kiss.
Too perfect.
Once we got down, we all went home to the Way’s house. Ms. Way hugged me and told me happy birthday. She made diner so we all sat down and ate. She bought a small cake and they sang happy birthday for me. I blew out the candle making a wish. When we finished cleaning up she went to her room and we went down to the basement. Frank sat next to me on the couch playing with Pansy. He loved that guitar. As we were talking about the carnival, my phone rang. I looked to see Natasha calling me. I picked up expecting to hear her screaming happy birthday but instead was greeted with Bert’s voice.
“Put the phone on speaker now and don’t ask why!” He yelled. I looked at my phone confused and did what he said. I could hear him mumbling something to someone and some shuffling of movement. The boy’s looked at me confused and I just shrugged my shoulders laughing softly.
“Hey An.” Quinn’s voice spoke.
“Hey Quinn, what’s going on?” I asked laughing.
“Well first, we’re sorry for not calling earlier but we spent all day trying to finish this song for you.”
“Oh?” I asked curious.
“This song is our birthday present for you and Bert wants to play it for you now.”
I gasped in joy. “Really? You guys are amazing! What’s the name of the song?”
“Blue and Yellow.” Bert answered.
“Ok, I’m ready!” I said smiling at my phone. The sound of piano and acoustic guitar came out of the phone. Bert’s soft voice started to sing.
‘And it's all in how you mix the two,
And it starts just where the light exists.
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole,
Through everyone that feels it.
Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it,
Won't come your way,yeah
Well you'll never find it,
If you're looking for it. (looking for it)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking,
Rather waste some time with you.
And you never would have thought in the end,
How amazing it feels just to live again,
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole, through everyone that feels it.
Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it, won't come your way, yeah
Well you'll never find it, if you're looking for it. (looking for it)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.
Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste some time with you.
(Time with you... time with you... time with you
Waste some time with you... waste some time with you...)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste my time with you.
Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste my time with you.
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.
Waste some time with you... (x7)
(fading)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.’
Tears ran down my face like a waterfall. I couldn’t hold them back. I could feel Frank’s hand behind my back trying to comfort me but it didn’t help me cry less. That song had so much meaning to me that nobody knew about. The struggles I went through with Bert and his drug problems were something I’d never forget and regret doing.
“Bells?” Bert’s worried voice broke the silence in the room. I tried calming my sobs by covering my mouth with my hand but failed. “Shit! We made her cry!”
“No…” I breathed deeply calming down. “No, Bert I loved it. Just brought back a lot of memories… the good and the bad.”
“I’m sorry....” He said softly.
“Don’t be. Bert, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.” I said finally calming down and smiling softly at the phone. I could hear some sniffling and I knew he was crying. “Hey Bert?”
“Y-yeah?” His voice broke.
“Thank you for the song. I love you and miss you so much.”
“I love you too Bells. Please come back soon…” He said trying hard not to cry. I could feel myself want to cry again too but I held it back.
“I will, don’t worry.” I said laughing softly. I could feel Frank’s hand stiffen and drop back to his side.
“Ok no more crying!” Natasha’s voice spoke. “Let’s just tell her happy birthday and leave this poor girl alone.”
“Bitch, why are you so bossy?” Branden said making me laugh and earning him a smack from Natasha. “Ow!”
“Happy birthday An.” Quinn said.
“Happy birthday Belladonna!” Natasha yelled.
“Happy birthday Rosy.” Branden said.
“Happy birthday Bells.” Bert said happily, feeling better now. There was a silence as I waited for Jepha to speak next. I could hear some whispering and mumbling then a loud smack, followed by a ‘Fuck!’
“I’m sorry Belladonna, but lover boy here, got shy all of a sudden.” Natasha said clearly mad at him.
“It’s okay Nat. He doesn’t need to say anything.” I said feeling a bit sad. Just as I was going to say goodbye, Jepha spoke.
“Rosa?”
“Yeah?” I sighed softly just wanting to go home and go to bed already. I was thinking too much right now.
“Happy birthday my love.” He said softly. I was shocked and slightly annoyed he called me my love. I wasn’t his girlfriend anymore.
“Thank you.” I said rubbing my forehead. I had a small headache from crying. “Thanks again guys. I’m glad you called. I love you all so much. Goodnight.”
I could hear them all say I love you back and goodnight. I hung up and sighed rubbing my forehead again. I got up tired as hell. I saw everyone looking at me with worried eyes.
“Thank you guy’s for today. I really had an amazing time.” I said smiling softly.
“No problem Annie.” Ray said standing up and hugging me. I hugged Mikey and Bob saying thank you and goodnight. As I hugged Gerard, he held me longer rocking me side to side.
“Talk to me tomorrow if you want. Don’t hold it in Bella.” He whispered in my ear. I nodded my head smiling at him. I turned around to see Frank still sitting on the couch looking at his hands.
“Frank, can you walk with me?” I asked. He looked up, nodding his head and getting up. He put away Pansy and went upstairs without saying anything. I grabbed the bag that had all the stuff animals from today and said goodbye to everyone as I walked upstairs. Frank was outside on the porch smoking a cigarette with one of his hands in his pocket. He didn’t say anything as we walked home together. He didn’t even walk me to my front door when we arrived to my house. We just stood in front of the white fence in silence.
“Rose?” He was looking at his feet.
“Yeah Frank?”
“Why did you lie to me?”
“What do you mean?” I asked confused.
“He said ‘my love’. You said there wasn’t anyone else you liked.” He was still looking down.
“And there still isn’t. Jepha is my ex and I guess he still thinks we’ll get back together but I know we won’t.” I said looking at the top of his head, wanting him to look at me.
“Well I guess it doesn’t really matter since you’re leaving.” He said coldly finally looking at me. “Right?”
“I don’t know Frank.”
“Was that your plan the whole time? Go back to Utah?” He was slightly raising his voice now.
“Yes it was but then I met you and that changed everything. I love you guys so much.”
“Then stay!” I jumped scared of his sudden outburst. “If you love us so much then stay with us here.”
“I want to but I love them too. Bert needs me and I can’t abandon him…” I said softly, wanting to cry again.
“I need you. Please choose to stay Rose.” He said softly begging me.
“I can’t decide right now Frank. I’m sorry…” The tears were welling up. He looked hurt, frustrated and finally giving up. He threw his arms up shaking his head.
“Fine. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.” He said coldly.
“Frank, please un-“
“No! Don’t even bother to explain anymore. Just leave me alone Rose.” He started walking slowly to his house. I began to cry feeling more torn apart than ever.
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Mi hija! Que grande estas! Ya no es uno niña. - My daughter! How big you are! You're no longer a little girl.
Feliz cumpleaños - Happy birthday.