The Quintessence of Macy Jensen

I awoke to the lull of a nearby machine. I cracked my eyes open and internally groaned as fluorescent lights clouded my vision. I turned my head with a crack and noticed a figure sitting in the chair closest to the bay window. The form was hunched over and staring into the perpetual rain and thunder. I cleared my horse throat and watched as the figure turned to look at me, surprised I was awake. And then I noticed, as the face became clear and his eyes bore into mine, that Brett Marston was sitting in the chair that was in the room I was hospitalized in. “What are you doing?” I asked after a few failed attempts and nosily clearing my throat.

He turned back to the window, back at me and finally strode his way towards my bed. He took a shallow breath before dropping his eyes to the linoleum. “I’m sorry for what me and my friends did. It was a dick move, I know.” I closed my eyes, trying to think back to what he and his friends did, but to my grief I remembered not a single detail.

“What did you do? I don’t remember.” I trailed off my sentence as I folded my hands against my stomach, my already non-existent self confidence faltering till I nearly felt uncomfortable. It wasn’t my fault though because his eyes were actually boring into my body; like he was my owner and was making sure I didn’t get damaged, like he actually cared. “We played that stupid prank on you. You passed out and hit your head.” I nodded in remembrance, sucking my lip into my mouth. “I guess…I assume you don’t want me here so I’ll get going, I guess get better Macy.” Him saying my name; Brett Marston letting my name fall of his porcelain tongue without spite or harshness edged in made me feel special in an odd way. And suddenly I yearned for him to stay, for him to watch over me and pretend he cared for awhile more. I grabbed his arm before I let my words flutter into the air without a second thought. “You can stay Brett.”

He turned around with a smirk playing against his lips and nodded. Tuesday’s beanie fell down his head as he sat himself on the chair he occupied just a few minutes ago. But this time he inched it over to the bed I laid on. I smiled as he returned it and ran a hand through my stiff hair. I groaned as I grabbed a piece between my numb fingers.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to impress me.” I smiled as I dropped the strand and began to ask Brett how he was doing despite that I should have been more worried about myself than some boy who had given me hell for so long.

The things he did to me.



As a nurse in scrubs came in to declare it was time for Brett to leave, I looked with sorrow as he patted my exposed leg. Without hesitation I leaned closer to him while he leaned down and without a care I let his lips press against mine for a brief moment. But that moment felt like infinity; it felt like all the happiness in the world was sucked into the space between our lips. He pulled back with wide eyes and left the room. “I guess I’ll see you in school.” He turned and left then, closing the door and leaving my daydreams behind.



But I didn’t see him in school the next day. In fact, he was nowhere to be found. He was avoiding me like the plague and he was doing a damn good job of it. I didn’t catch a glimpse of his normal beanie wandering the halls during free periods and didn’t see him stride into lunch with the rest of his football buddies. But then again I never expected for him to seek me out. I was the outcast of our high school and he was the polar opposite. He was the funny guy while I was bland; he was special while I was a normal fatality.

It was around noontime when I found Brett with his books in his hands. The sleeves of his sweatshirt were pulled over his knuckles and stray stands of hair stuck wildly from his red beanie. In conclusion he looked like absolute shit. But I went up to him anyway at a moment he detached from his fellow friends- the same ones that convinced him to scare me until I passed out. I was silent as I stood next to him, my hand reaching out to tap against his broad shoulder. He turned and sighed as he noticed I was the one who begged for his attention.

“Yeah Macy?” The bluntness in his voice burned me but I couldn’t take it personally - we were in public and if he was seen being nice to Macy Jensen he would get hell. “I was wondering about yesterday..” I was referring to the kiss we shared and he knew it. His eyes widened just like they did at the hospital and he bit on his bottom lip. “I don’t know what happened. Just leave me alone for today okay?” But he left without a response and was soon lost in the crowd of students. I held back tears as I rushed into my science class and sat myself in the back of the room. I let my head drop to my books and took in a deep breath, which made my chest crush even more. I felt like my heart broke in half and realized just how much I was falling for Brett Marston; a boy I knew was going to break my heart just like he broke arms in football. Brett Marston was a complete and utter asshole.

But I couldn’t help but yearn for him.