Remembering

When somebody breaks up with you, it usually means they're over you, doesn't it?

So it's okay for me to move on, right?

Even if it's Korey?

To me, it seems okay.

To Michael, I guess not, because he's been texting me and asking me all about it.

'Korey told me you're all over him now.'
'Korey said you probably aren't going to text me for a few weeks because you hate me.'

So I told him. I'd still text him.

I don't hate Michael, I couldn't.

Not when there's still leftover love for him hiding inside me.

Where did Korey get the idea that I wouldn't text Michael? Did I say that? Did I say I hated him? He needs to stay the hell out of my business.

And even if it hurts Michael: yes, I still have a thing for Korey. Maybe not.

He was pissed about it. Why?

I want to shake him and yell, 'YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH ME! WHY SHOULD IT MATTER WHO I HANG OUT WITH - OR MAKE OUT WITH?'

That probably wouldn't do me any good.

I mean, I suppose getting my feelings out there for once would help me, but would he tell me what he's feeling?

Probably not.

I'm getting mixed signals.

One day he loves me, the next he wants to be just friends, the next we're all cool, and then he hates me; for hanging out with one of my other ex's who he just happens to be friends with.

SO FUCKING WHAT? I knew Korey before he did. I knew Korey before he was a stoner, before we had all these friends who could get us weed and cigarettes and lighters. It shouldn't matter who I make out with, because Michael can get any girl he wants.

Maybe he's upset because he still has feelings for me. I still have feelings for him... The only reason I've been making out with Korey is to satisfy the sexual hunger I've been feeling these past few days.

Call me a whore, but it doesn't mean anything, at least, not now. I haven't even gone all the way. I'm a virgin. The farthest I've ever gone is oral, given and received. Having a size DD bra can't make me a whore either. Sure, some guys stare, and I let them, I'm even known to flash a few people when I'm high... You can look, but you can't touch. See, I have my morals. So what if I'm bisexual? Does bisexuality make me a whore? Define whore anyway.

whore (hor) -/n./- : one who engages in sexual activity for pay

That's more like a prostitute, so I guess, that being said, I'm a more of a slut, if anything.

One of Michael's ex's, Josie, who I was pretty good friends with last year, whores herself out for weed.

She has a system: she'll make out with you for $5 in weed, she'll give you a blow job for $15 in weed, and she'll fuck for whatever you'll give her.

Personally, I think it's pretty smart. She's never paid for weed, and when she's not whoring for it, she's bumming off of other people's supply.

I'll admit, I admire her. Possibly even envy her. For many reasons, but that's a different story.