Crossroads

I sat on the couch staring out the window as the sun rose. It had been 5 days since I’d seen or spoken to Joanna. I’d talked to Aden a couple of times and seen her twice. Each time she’d pleaded with me to come back to Craig’s and to talk to Joanna but I wasn’t going to.

Joanna had no right to yell at me. She wasn’t my mother. I was 24 years old. Who the hell was she to tell me how to live my life? Besides I’d seen her drunk and high multiple times.

However as much as I had avoided her I knew that today I wouldn’t be able to. We were flying into Seattle today for the show tomorrow. There was a bunch of stuff that we had to go over and I had no clue how Joanna and I were going to deal with it when we weren’t talking.

I was pretty sure that Lexi and Katie had no clue the amount of discord between the two of us. I’d talked to Matt every night and he asked how the girls were every time. If he had no clue there were issues going on here then it was pretty safe to say that neither did Jimmy nor Johnny and therefore Lexi and Katie were subsequently in the dark as well.

“Lucy?”

I turned to see Max walk out of his bedroom in a pair of baggy pajama pants and no shirt. His long hair was tangled and his eyes were still half closed with sleep.

“Hey.” I smiled.

“How long have you been up?” he asked walking over and joining me on the couch.

“Not long… a couple of hours.” I replied.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

I shrugged, “I just woke up and kinda got lost in my thoughts.” I replied.

He nodded and hugged me kissing the top of my head. I smiled and leaned back against his chest.

I fit so perfectly against Max. When I leaned back on him my head rested right between his neck and shoulder, my ear just the same level as his mouth so that he could say something to me without having to say it very loud or lean his head down. His arms were muscular without being huge and hugged me just right, never to tight or too loose.

He was the opposite of Matt. And that scared me.

Though we hadn’t even so much as kissed since that night by the fire I felt myself growing closer to Max everyday. I still loved Matt but something just seemed to be missing lately. Maybe it was just because I was so far from home. Maybe things would work out and it would be like it used to be.

“You hungry?” Max asked drawing me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah. Wanna go grab something or eat here?” I asked.

“I don’t feel like cooking. Let’s go out.” Max replied.

I nodded and stood up. Max wandered to the bedroom and put on a t-shirt and grabbed his keys while I put on shoes with my pajamas. When he returned we headed to his car. After pulling through the McDonald’s drive through we headed back to the apartment to eat.

“So are you excited for your big show tomorrow?” Max asked through a mouth of Egg McMuffin.

I nodded, “This is the first time we’ve played in months. I miss being on stage so much. There is nothing like hearing everyone singing your songs back at you.”

“Agreed.” he replied.
We spent the rest of the day just hanging around the apartment watching TV. There wasn’t much on other than old episodes of Law & Order: SVU and eventually we dozed off.

By the time we woke up it was late. We hurried to get ready to leave. I took a shower first before walking into Max’s room to get dressed while he got a shower. Since we were flying I wanted to be comfortable so I pulled on a pair of black sweatpants, a tattered shirt that read ‘City Of Angels’ and black high tops.

Walking into the living room I found my stash of Oxys. I began to cut and line them up when Max walked out of the bathroom fully dressed. He wore jeans, sneakers and an Escape The Fate t-shirt.

“Really? You’re going to wear your own shirt to the airport?” I smirked.

He rolled his eyes, “All my other clean clothes are at Craig’s or packed in my suitcase.” he replied.

“Whatever.” I laughed.

Max and I quickly did our lines and headed out. We caught a cab to the airport and got there about 20 minuets later. After checking our bags we headed to wait for our flight to board.

When we got there we saw Craig, Leila, Aden and Joanna already there.

“Lucy! Uncle Max!” Leila screamed and ran up and grabbed one of Max and I’s legs each.

“Hey Princess.” Max smiled and picked her up.

I walked over and sat down next to Aden while Max took the seat next to Craig. Him and Craig had talked and were okay. However with the fact that Joanna and I weren’t speaking still added to the tension.

“So what time do you guys go on tomorrow?” Craig asked.

“4:30.” I replied.

“And sound check is at 3.” Joanna added.

“Right.” I nodded.

I looked over to where Joanna sat on the other side of Craig, their hands laced.

“You two look pretty close.” I smiled.

“That’s typically what happens when two people date each other.” Joanna replied

“I knew it! Congrads man!” Max said and Craig smiled.

“Yeah congradulations.” I smiled at them.

‘Thanks.” Joanna replied, her eyes closed.

After that it fell silent and Aden sighed before muttering, “This is going to be a looonnnnggg flight.”
**********

3 hours later we landed in Seattle. I had sat with Max and Aden while Craig, Leila and Joanna sat a row in front of us. I had slept most of the way, only waking up when the pilot asked us to put on our seatbelts for landing.

When we walked off the breezeway Brian, Jude, Johnny, Katie, Alaina, Jimmy, Lexi and Matt were waiting for us. I walked directly to Matt and threw my arms around his neck. He smiled with his dimples and lifted me up, pressing his lips to mine.

The kiss was amazing but something was missing. As we pulled away I saw something in Matt’s eyes that made me think that maybe he felt it too. However it disappeared quickly as everyone began talking about the show tomorrow.

“So how was the trip babe?” Brian asked as we headed towards baggage claim.

Aden looked up from where she’d been talking to Jude, “It was…interesting.” she smiled.

“Interesting? What do you mean?” Lexi asked.

“Long story.” Joanna replied, her eyes cutting to me.

Lexi and Katie both looked between Joanna and I but kept their mouths shut. The guys didn’t even notice.

We retrieved our bags and headed to grab dinner since it was late. We decided on Pizza and quickly found a place to eat.

It was halfway through dinner when Johnny picked up on the fact that Craig and Joanna were closer than normal.

“Hey…is there something going on between you two?” Johnny asked looking at Craig and Joanna.

“Oh um…yeah. We’re dating.” Joanna smiled, her cheeks flushing a little.

“Oh my god! Yay!” Lexi said and jumped up and ran around to hug the both of them.

I smiled as she proceeded to choke the life out of them. However a moment later my attention was drawn away from them as Matt’s hand began to trail along the inside of my thigh.

“When we get back to the hotel you’re mine. I missed you so much.” he whispered lowly in my ear.

I smiled and pecked him on the lips. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Max’s face fall a little but I didn’t turn to fully look at him. I couldn’t.

After dinner we headed back to the hotel where the guys had rented out 2 penthouses so we’d have enough rooms. I had hardly sat my bags down when Matt made good on his word.

One moment I was standing in the living room of the penthouse looking around and the next I screamed because Matt had scooped me up bridal style. He carried me to the bedroom and laid me carefully on the bed before closing the door.

A moment later Matt was over me, his lips moving against mine. I kissed back enjoying the feeling of his fingers tracing the skin just under the hem of my shirt. Just as quickly as he’d kissed me he pulled away.

“I love you Lucy.” he replied his hazel eyes looking directly into my blue ones.

“I-I love you too Matt.” I replied.

“I mean it.” he said.

“So do I Matt.” I smiled.

He leaned down and kissed me again. Clothes were discarded and our bodies joined. Soon Matt and I collapsed on the bed both spent. My heart was beating out of my chest and he was breathing hard and heavy.

Neither of us said a word. We didn’t have to. As much as we’d enjoyed it there was no denying that something was missing. It had been the first time we’d made love in weeks and it just wasn’t the same.

Once he caught his breath Matt sat up.

“Things have changed haven’t they?” he asked.

I sat up and nodded, “I think they have.” I replied.

“When?”

“I-I don’t know. Sometime when you were in the studio?”

He nodded, “And something happened in Phoenix didn’t it?”

“Yeah…it did. Max and I kissed. Once and that was it.” I replied.

“And he makes you happy.” Matt said. It wasn’t a question. Just a statement. A fact.

“Yeah he does.” I replied.

A soft smile crossed Matt’s face. He turned and pressed his lips to mine once more.

“I love you Lucy and nothing can change that. I want you to know it’s okay though.” he smiled.

“Thanks Matt. And I do love you.” I replied.

“I know Lucy.” he replied.

“So did we just break up?” I asked.

He laughed, “Yeah…I think we did.”

“Then I think I’m going to sleep on the couch.” I said.

“You sure? I can sleep out there.” he replied.

I nodded, “Yeah. You stay here.” I replied and stood up.

I pulled back on my clothes and walked out of the room. Sitting on the couch watching Freddie Vs. Jason was Joanna. Without a word I walked in and sat down on the other couch and began to watch the movie.

When commercial hit Joanna turned towards me.

“Why the long face?” she asked.

“Matt and I just broke up.” I replied.

“Because you told him about Max?”

I shook my head, “No. Things have changed. They changed before I went to Phoenix and now that I’m back they’re still different. I told him about Max though. He wasn’t mad.” I replied.

“Wow. That’s a surprise.” she said and without another word she stood up and walked to her room.

Sighing I laid down on the couch and in no time I was asleep.

********

I woke the next morning with a stiff back and Lexi shaking me.

“C’mon we have some press stuff to do before the show today.” she yawned.

I nodded and stood up, groaning as my body cracked and popped.

“Jesus I hurt.” I groaned.

“Why are you even sleeping on the couch?” she asked.

“Oh…uh…Matt and I broke up last night.” I replied.

“WHAT?!?” she asked her eyes bugging out of her head.

“Yeah…things aren’t the same with us lately and we both agreed that it would be better to be apart. It’s no big deal.” I replied.

“I’m sorry.” Lexi said and hugged me.

“It’s okay. Like I said….it’s alright…it was mutual.” I laughed.

“Alright. Well go get dressed. We have to leave in like 20 minuets. Alexander just told us.” she said rolling her eyes.

“He needs to get his shit straightened out.” I replied. We had a new manager and he even though he was great at what he did he was just a little unorganized.

I walked over to my suitcase and began to sort through it. Soon I found a pair of tight black jeans, one of my many pairs of Converse, and a t-shirt I’d bought a long time ago but had yet to wear. It said ‘Dance Like No One Is Looking, Mosh Like It’s Hell Is On Earth, Scream Until Your Lungs Collapse, Rock As If Nothing Else Matters.’ which was pretty much my motto for every show.

After gathering my clothes I headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. After my shower I dressed and dried my hair, running mousse through to make it curl. Once I was dressed I headed out. My stomach growled and I decided to see if the guys had requested the kitchen be stocked with goodies or not while I waited.

When I got into the kitchen Craig was leaning against the counter sipping coffee.

“Morning.” he said with a smiled.

“Morning Craigifer.” I replied as I grabbed a cup and poured myself a cup with extra milk and sugar before raiding the fridge which was pleasantly full.

“Sleep okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. On the couch but fine.” I replied.

“Yeah Joanna told me you and Matt broke up. Does this have anything to do with my bassist?”

“Max? No. Matt and I have been heading in the direction of breaking up for awhile now. He’s been at the studio a lot and I’ve been stuck at home and things just haven’t been the same.” I replied.

Craig nodded and took another sip of his coffee.

“So speaking of Green where is he? Being a lazy ass as usual?” I asked.

He nodded, “He’s still crashed out in his room. You can go wake him up if you want. Leila‘s asleep with him. He‘s going to watch her.” Craig replied.

“No it’s early…let him sleep. You guys deal with the drudgeries of being famous every day. I’m not going to drag him along for the ride.” I replied and ducked out of the kitchen with coffee and a cold slice of pizza.

Ten minuets later we were heading out the door. All of us plus Craig and Jimmy climbed into the rented van and headed to our first press thing for the day.

Over the coarse of the day we did 2 interviews, a quick photo thing for the show and a small signing. After the signing the girls decided that they wanted to go out for lunch and shop a little. But thanks to the fact I’d camped on the couch that night I was eager to get some more sleep before the show.

The van dropped the girls, Jimmy and Craig off at a restaurant and drove me back to the hotel it could pick up Brian, Jude, Johnny, Alaina, Leila and Max.

“Hey! Van’s here!” I called as I walked out.

“Thanks Lucy…hey aren’t you coming with?” Brian asked as I collapsed back on the couch.

“Nuh-uh. Tired. Gonna sleep a little before the show.” I replied.

“Oh well Max is staying too. He’s right next door if you need him. We’re bringing Leila with us.” Johnny said.

“Okay. Later guys. Have fun.” I smile and wave before laying back, the door shutting a few moments later.

I had just gotten relaxed and was starting to doze off when there was a knock on the door. Sighing I rolled off the couch, got to my feet and went to answer it.

“Hey.” Max smiled.

“Oh hey….c’mon in.” I replied.

We walked in and I flopped back into my spot on the couch.

“I thought I’d bring you a little good luck present.” Max smiled and held up a little baggy full of pills.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love you?” I asked smiling.

“Not today.” he replied.

“Well I really really REALLY love you.” I smiled.

He grinned and pulled a mirror out of his pocket and began to cut up the pills. He made the usual lines and together we snorted what we had. Our high reached we sat back to enjoy it.

“So I heard about you and Shadows.” Max said.

“Yeah? Well it’s really for the best.” I replied lying back on the floor.

“Did it have anything to do with me?” he asked.

“Honestly?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“No. It was just us needing to see what else was out there.” I replied.

“Oh. So are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. It was a mutual thing. I did tell him about our kiss though.” I sighed.

“And what did he have to say to that?” Max asked.

“Nothing. Just that he’s fine with whatever happens.” I replied.

“So you want something else to happen?” he asked.

I looked up and saw Max looking at me. His green eyes were staring intently and earnestly at me.

I sat up and looked back.

“Honestly I don’t know. You make me feel things that I never felt with Matt. And it scares me.” I replied.

“I don’t want to scare you Lucy.” he said and moved closer so that our faces were inches away.

I could feel his breath on my lips. With only a second’s hesitation I kissed him. This kiss was different from the other. It had none of us holding back. I was giving him my all, Matt not even a tiny thought in the back of my mind.

The kiss deepened and Max swept his tongue over my bottom lip. I parted them to give him entrance, tangling my tongue with his. My fingers found his dark locks and tangled themselves in them as his hands moved down to my hips and pulled me into his lap.

Smirking I began to grind my hips against his. Max groaned and kissed me harder. His hands left my hips and moved to my front and began to fiddle with the button of my jeans.

I quickly pulled away, “Wait.”

“Sorry we’re going to fast.” he replied.

“No. I just don’t want the others to walk in and see us.” I smiled a blush rising into my face.

“Oh.” he laughed.

“Yeah so…you’re room?” I asked.

“Of course. C’mon.” he said and we stood up.

I started towards the door but a moment later Max picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and began to run for the door.

“Max put me down!” I laughed as he carried me out into the hall.

“Nope. Now hush and be a good girl.” he laughed and smacked my ass.

I heard the door open and Max carried me into the room. The door swung closed behind us and before I knew it Max had carried me to his room. He threw me onto his bed, my body bouncing on the mattress.

Smiling he joined me on the bed but a moment later his smile faded.

“Are you sure you want this Lucy?” he asked.

I nodded, “Yes. I want this. I want you.” I smiled.

He smiled and pressed his lips to mine once more.

*********

I lay beside Max, my head resting on his chest. I was in and out of sleep comfortable in his arms. If I could manage it I would never move. However I knew we had the show today and I would have to eventually. Thankfully I had set an alarm with plenty of time to get dressed again and get back to my room before the others could miss me.

Snuggling closer to Max I began to fall back into unconsciousness when I heard the sound of the door of the room opening.

“Lucy?! Max?!” Joanna’s voice called.

“Hey! Are you here?!?” Katie called.

“Oly oly oxen free!” Craig yelled.

“Hey butt wipes! Are you here?!?” Aden yelled.

“Fuck! Max! Get up! The others are here!” I said.

Instantly he was up and we began to scramble for our clothes. However thanks to my amazing sense of balance I fell as I tried to put on my jeans. I grabbed for the nightstand to catch myself but instead grabbed the lamp cord bringing it to the floor with a crash.

A split second later the door to the bedroom opened and all of our friends flooded into the room.

“HOLY SHIT!” Katie laughed as she saw Max and I.

“Do you mind?!?” I asked as I successfully pulled on my jeans.

“So this what you fucking left us for? To fuck around with Max?” Joanna yelled.

“What? No! I was taking a nap and he came over! It just happened!” I replied.

“Oh it just happened did it?” she asked.

“Yes! It did! Jesus can you please not act like my mother again? Last time we had a conversation like this you fucking lost!” I replied.

“I lost? Oh you’re fucking forgetting what happened then! You and that pussy ass boyfriend of yours ran with your tails between your legs!” Joanna screamed back.

“Oh please! You fucking wish!”

“Look just quit trying to be my mother and let me live my life!” I spat.

“Live your life? Well if you keep up the shit that you’re doing now you won’t be living much longer! Don’t lie to me Lucy! Your pupils are fucking tiny! What are you on now?!?”

“Hold on! Wait! Are we missing something here?” Lexi asked.

“Missing something?” Joanna laughed, “How about the fact that ever since we got back from Vegas Lucy’s been fucking snorting pills?!? Yeah! She’s a fucking drug addict!”

“I’m not a fucking drug addict!” I screamed.

“Yes you are! You and your drug pushing boyfriend are addicts Lucy! Wake up and smell the fucking coffee!” Joanna replied in a similar manner.

“Leave Max out of this Joanna!”

“Why? He’s the whole reason you started doing this shit! He gives you one bag of weed and now you two are snorting shit up your noses ever fuckin day! And now look at you! You broke up with Matt, who you lost your virginity to, less than 24 hours ago and your already fucking Max! Congratulations Lucy not only are you a fucking druggy you’re a slut too!”

At that point all the anger and tension between us bubbled over. I lunged at Joanna knocking her back. She punched me and I punched her back. It was the single most vicious thing I had ever been involved in. Both of us had a death grip on each others hair and with our free hands we were punching and slapping any bit we could. We were both out for blood.

Suddenly I felt a pair of arms around me and I was pulled back. I recognized the tattoos as Brian and Matt’s.

“Let me fucking go!” I said thrashing about in their grip, eager to get back at Joanna who was barely being held back by Craig and Jimmy.

“No! You both need to stop! This is fucking ridiculous!” Aden said.

“She fucking called me a slut!” I spat.

“Only because you are whore!” Joanna yelled.

“I don’t care what the fuck you called each other! We can’t do this! We have sound check in 30 minutes and we need both of you! Now I’m sure Johnny and Brian would gladly fill in but we don’t have time to teach them the damn songs!” Aden yelled.

“Exactly! Now both of you need to calm down! You will both get ready for sound check and we will get this settled afterwords!” Lexi said her voice commanding.

“And if you start any shit on stage we will beat both of your asses!” Kate added.

“Is that clear to both of you?” Aden asked.

“Yeah.” I replied glaring at Joanna.

“Crystal.” Joanna said her eyes cutting back into mine.

Craig and Jimmy pulled Joanna from the room. Brian and Matt waited until the door shut to let me go. The moment they did I stomped off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

I stared in the mirror. My lip was swollen and I had a good bruise forming under my eye. I had no clue how I was going to hide this shit.

A moment later Max followed.

“Sit.” he said patting the counter.

I sighed and did as he said.

He took a wash cloth from the towel bar and began to dab at my bloody lip.

“Why did you do that?” Max asked.

“Because she called me a slut.” I replied.

“I know that but Joanna’s like one of your best friends. Why did you fight her like that?”

“Because Max she’s wrong. I’m not a fucking slut. You’re the second guy I’ve ever had sex with and I love you. It’s not like I cheated on Matt! Yes we kissed but did we fuck before I broke it off with Matt? No. And Matt wasn’t even mad!” I replied.

“True. And by the way…I love you too.” he said.

I looked at him and smiled but regretted it when it hurt. Max sighed and looked at me.

“I think I may have a way to hide all that.” Max said gesturing to my face and walked out returning with his makeup bag.

“Just sit still and let me work my magic.” he said.

I did as I was told and he got to work. 15 minutes later he let me see. My face was pale and he had made the upper part of my eyes black and the lower parts purple. The purple hid the bruise. He couldn’t do much about the lip but he had put lines down them and it hid it a little bit.

“It looks great baby. Thanks.” I smiled as best I could.

He smiled back, “You’re welcome.” he replied.

I jumped down but winced at the pain. I lifted my shirt and saw that sure enough I was covered in bruises.

“Max…do you have any more oxys?” I asked.

“Oxys?” he asked.

“Yes this time I’m in legit pain. I can’t go on stage like this.” I replied.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes.” I replied.

“Okay. Hold on.” he said and came back a few minuets later with 3 pills.

“Thank you.” I said and poured myself a glass of water before chewing them up and chasing them with the water.

“Ready to go now?” he asked.

I nodded, “Lets go.” I smiled.

*******

The whole way there everyone was sure to keep Joanna and I apart. We took 2 separate vans to the venue and no one would let us within feet of each other. When sound check came Matt and Brian stood on either side of the stage ready to grab us if need be.

Despite death glares we got through it okay. Sighing I walked backstage and sat down my purple bass. Collapsing on a chair I sighed.

“Hey want a sip?”

I looked up and saw one of our roadies Jane handing me a bottle of Jack. We had hung out a couple of times and she was pretty cool.

“After the day I had I could use a whole bottle.” I laughed and took it from her taking a long draft, the familiar burn tingling my throat.

“What happened?” she asked taking the bottle back and sitting in front of me and taking a drink herself.

“Long story. Don‘t really wanna get into it. However lets just say a lot of it involves being pissed off.” I smiled.

“Well then drink up.” she smirked and handed me the bottle again.

We spent the next 45 minuets drinking and talking about random shit. Finally thought I had to hand her the bottle back and go on stage. I stood and found that I was a little unsteady on my feet.

However I shook it off. I’d played tipsy before and had done just fine. I grabbed my bass and walked over to the techs. They hooked me up to my monitors and such and I headed on stage.

I was feeling amazing for the first part of the show but by the middle I began to feel dizzy and sleepy. I tried to shake it off but I couldn’t. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe and the world seemed to be spinning.

Vaguely I registered my legs buckling and my knees hitting the stage. The next second I was on my back and people seemed to be screaming. Everything was going in and out of focus and my breathing began to slow and the dizziness increased.

“Lucy! Talk to me!” Katie said grabbing my face.

I wanted to but I couldn’t. Everything was going black. The last thing I remembered was Max’s concerned face and voice before the darkness finally over took me.