Crossroads

“Ugh!” I said dropping mine and Leila’s bags next to the couch. “It feels so good to be home.!” I added as I flopped on the couch.

“You sound like you spent a year in jail or something.” Aden laughed.

“No, that feeling is way different.” I replied.

“Yeah Aden, you and I were in for a day and a night and when we got out it was the best day ever.” Joanna said.

“Oh, oh god, never again. I didn’t sleep a wink that whole night. That thing below me kept snoring like a wildebeast.” She replied.

“Yeah and that think I had to stay with took a shit so bad it WOKE me up. That says something.” Joanna said.

“Daddy!” Leila yelled before jumping onto my lap.

“Yes princess?” I asked smiling.

“Can Joanna and her friends watch Space Jam with me?!” she asked.

I looked up for Joanna and saw her peaking around the doorway. “This was your idea, wasn’t it.” I asked her.

“Nooo.” She replied, sounding like a child.

“Do you want to watch this Leila?” I asked her.

She nodded. I pondered for a moment.

“Or, how about we go to the carnival?” I asked her.

“OH MY GOD PLEASE?!” Joanna, Aden and Lucy all screamed. They nearly made me jump out of my skin.

I looked back at Leila and she had a huge smile and was practically shaking, “Please daddy?! Can we go?!”

“Yes, let’s go get ready.”

I walked into my room with Leila and pulled out a pink leopard print hoodie and shorts, leaving her to pick out her shoes. I put on white shirt with a sick black graphic, black shorts and a random pair of black vans I found lying around.

When I walked out, I saw Joanna sitting on the couch with Max in a purple sinful t-shirt that she had bought when she moved out here, a pair of shorts and DVS sneakers. Max was wearing a Hurley shirt, black shorts, and a pair of his Osiris sneakers.

I heard giggling coming down the hall towards us and saw Lucy wearing a pink Iron Fist shirt, shorts, and DC shoes. Aden was wearing a penguin shirt, shorts and converses. Once we were all ready, we headed out. Max and Leila rode with me while Joanna, Lucy and Aden rode in her car.

Since Joanna was still learning her way around, we all decided she would follow me. I started the car and pulled out of the spot.

“Dude, what is going on?” Max said to me.

“What are you talking about?” I asked him, sincerely confused.

“Oh come on man!” he said looking back at Leila and then to me.

“What?” I asked.

“Dude, Joanna.” He said trying not to smile.

“What about her?” I asked.

“What’s going on with you two?”

I was shocked by his question, “Nothing, why?”

“The way you two look at each other doesn’t look like a whole lot of nothing.” He said wiggling an eyebrow.

“How do I look at her? I look at her like I look at you.” I replied.

“Dude, if you looked at me the way you looked at her, I’d question your sexual orientation.” He said. I just furrowed my brow in confusion. “Dude, you get this like, mushy look to you. You’re totally into her dude.”

I thought for a moment. Was I really that into her? I mean yeah, she was really nice to look at. She’s great with Leila. But I never truly noticed that I was looking at or treating her in any different way than I did anyone else. My guess was Max saw my thoughts rolling across my face.

“Noticing it now aren’t you?” he asked.

“Daddy?” I heard Leila say from the back seat.

“Yes honey?” I replied taking a drink of my soda.

“Is Joanna going to be my second mommy?” she asked.

I choked on my soda and tried my best not to spit it all over the car, but a bit spray out of my mouth and went on my shorts and steering wheel. Once I swallowed I choked for a second but finally caught my breath, thanks to Max beating the living hell out of my back.

I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the girls bobbing around, screaming to whatever they were listening to. I can’t remember seeing Joanna as happy as she was right now, listening to music with her friends, not a care in the world.

“So big daddy, is Leila gunna have Joanna as a second mommy?” he said smirking.

I clenched my teeth and glared at him, “Shut up. Don’t encourage her.” I replied.

“I like Joanna daddy.” Leila said.

“Oh look at that! We’re here!” I said, thankfully distracting her from the conversation. She started bouncing up and down in her booster seat.

“Daddy can we ride the water ride first?!” Max said being a complete and total jackass.

“As much as I wanna hit you right now, that sounds like a good idea. This way we’re not sweating our asses off the whole time and we’ll be dry when we leave.” I replied.

We parked and I helped Leila out of her booster seat before meeting up with the girls. Apparently they were still off in their own little world, still singing to music that wasn’t even playing.

You suck so passionately
You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature
finger-bangin' my heart.
You call me up drunk, does the fun ever start?
You're hideous...and sexy!

They finished the last line as they skipped their last few skips toward us.

“What are you guys singing?” Max asked.

“Ludo! Duh! Damn tard nugget.” Aden replied.

“Daddy said we can ride the water ride first!” Leila said to the girls as she tugged at my hand.

We headed for the admission stand and got bracelets. Tickets were tedious. After we all received our bracelets, it was off to the log flume.

“Fuck, our phones!” I heard Joanna yell from the seat in front of Max, Leila, and I. I cocked my head to the right and saw Aden and Joanna stuffing their phones in their shirts, they were still poking out a bit but for the most part they were covered. I pulled my phone from my pocket and nudged Joanna shoulder with it.
She turned and smirked, “Want me to put your phone in safe keeping too?” she giggled.

“Yes please.” I replied with a smile. She took it and put it with hers as Max elbowed me.

“Dude, come on. That wasn’t proof enough?” he said.

“Dude, shut up.” I replied. The ride took off and ended the conversation, and for that I was grateful.

We rode so many rides, I could barely keep up with them all. Lucy requested that we ride the Tilt-a-Whirl, Joanna begged for me to ride the Zipper with her, we all bolted for the Gravitron, and just for Leila, we all rode the swings, and the last thing we went through was a fun house, a ride that the girls demanded we all link together and not let anyone out of each others sight from the Lexi incident. When I reached the end of the ramp, I turned and saw that we were all still linked together.

“I wanna play that game!” Leila squealed.

“Come on! Let’s go!” Joanna replied grabbing her hand before darting for it.

It was one of those games where you shoot the water at the target and try to get your stuffed animal to the top before everyone else. Some spoiled teenage brat won and got a little koala stuffed animal and rubbed it in Leila’s face, something that angered me.

I walked up to them to say something but Joanna was on top of it before I got there.

Joanna had her hands over Leila’s ears, “The fuck is wrong with you?!” she started, I grabbed Leila and held her while Aden and Lucy tried to get Joanna to back off. “She’s a 6 year old girl! You’re what, thirteen?” she snapped.

“No, I’m 15.” The girl replied.

“Even better. You’re an immature little shit.” Joanna spat.

“And what are you gunna do?” the girl said with her hands on her hips.

Joanna looked around and smiled down at the girl, “Let’s play each other for the giant Panda.” She said.

“That a ten dollar game.” The vendor said.

“That’s fine.” Joanna smiled at him. She turned back to the girl, “Go ask daddy for ten bucks.”

The girl huffed but she turned and came back with ten dollars, causing Max and I to snicker. They each gave the vendor the money and he made an announcement for this to be a one on one game, drawing a crowd.

Once the bells starting ringing, they were off, and from the looks of it the girl had no chance in winning. Hearing her frustrated groans and whines even sent Leila into a fit of laughter, which made me smile. No less than 15 seconds after the bells rang, there was a winner. Joanna.

“Gimmie dat panda!” she said adding a ‘Whoop Whoop!’. It was a hilarious sight. The girl whined and stomped off. Joanna still held her arms out yelling “What bro? Can’t handle losin bro?”

Joanna took the Panda from the man and thanked him before turning over to Leila and I. “Here you go sweety.” She smiled handing the Panda to her.

“I can have it?!” she asked.

“Mhm! I won him for you.” She replied.

“Oh! Thank you Joanna!” she squealed giving her a huge hug. I couldn’t help but smile at them. But the moment was ruined, yet again, when Max opened his mouth.

“Just tell her how you feel man. Don’t give me a look, I’m just sayin.” He said. I tried my hardest and didn’t give him a look, just continued to over analyze my feelings at this point.

“Hey.” I heard as I was pulled from my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I asked looking at Joanna.

She looked a bit concerned, “You okay?”

“Oh, yeah! I’m cool.” I said smiling.

“Well come on!” she said laughing and grabbing my hand, “They’re already at the stand.”

What she was talking about at first I had no idea until I spotted them at a food stand. Max was handing Leila a plate with a hot dog on in and a small cup. Aden was shoving pizza in her mouth and Lucy was doing the same with popcorn. I walked up to the vendor and ordered a corndog.

“What do you want?” I asked Joanna.

“That pizza smells pretty good, I’ll try that.” She replied.

I ordered her pizza and paid the man before we took a seat at a table.

“Dude,” Max said attracting my attention, “Robert wants to take part in some “Pong” activities tonight.”

I looked over at Leila, “You think Mary will watch her tonight?”

“You can ask.” He shrugged.

Max found out all the details as I texted Mary. Mary was the teenage girl who lived with her mother next door. she glomped Max and I when we first moved in but we realized her main squeeze was Monte, we were safe.

“Mary said she’s in. Wanna play with Mary tonight?” I asked turning to Leila.

“I wanna play with Joanna and her friends.” She replied. I sighed.

“Well tonight daddy and Uncle Max are going to hang out with them.”

She pouted, “Ugh fine. I’ll play with Mary. Do you think she’ll let me have a piece of cake?” she asked, brightening up a bit.

I chuckled, “Well I don’t know. If she has some you can ask for a piece okay?”

“Okay!” she replied with a smile.

“Let’s head out. It’s starting to get kinda chilly anyway.” Lucy said rubbing her arms, Aden and Joanna doing the same thing.

“Big babies.” Max said. I grabbed Leila and started walking before the girls attacked him.

When we got home, I got Leila in some pajamas and got her ready to go over Mary’s. Mary was a big kid and had a lot of the movies and toys that Leila enjoyed so not much else had to go with her other than her clothes and tooth brush. I wager that when I get her tomorrow, she will have a crazy hair style and nail color going on. All I could hope is that I don’t find her hair green again, granted it washed out, it doesn’t ever come all the way out right away.

As for the rest of us, we got dressed to take on the cold. Changed my shirt since it was still a little damp and put on one of my designed shirts that read ‘Lookin Fuckin Fly As Fuck’ with a black and white striped hoodie, dark denim jeans, another pair of vans, and grabbed a pair of gloves and a beanie. I went into the kitchen to get a drink and saw Lucy and Max, and I was not expecting to see what I saw.

“Dude!” I said rather loudly. I caught their attention though as they pulled their faces away from the counter. Max, very subtly, wiped his nose. Lucy just held her hand over her nose and mouth very casually.

“The fuck? I’m extremely confused.” I said. I heard footsteps enter the room behind me and I turned to see the only other person in our apartment.

“What’s going on?” Joanna asked sliding her hoodie over her head.

I turned to her and looked back at them, “Can I talk to you?”

She looked concerned, “Yeah sure.” She replied before I lead her to my room.

I locked the door and walked over to my window on the far side of the room. I began whispering so the other two couldn’t hear me. “They had their faces by the counter. I think they might have been snorting something.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“I mean, I could be over reacting. But I thought they were.” I replied.

She had a look on her face, and I couldn’t quite place it, but it seemed like she knew something I didn’t. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure it out later. Let’s just go play some beer pong.” She said pinching my cheek.

She led the way to the door and turned the knob. I couldn’t see what she was doing exactly I just kept hearing the door rattle as she made a frustrated huff. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“The fuck is this?! A Houdini lock?! Or is it just Joanna-proof!” she raged.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her. “It’s a childproof lock, I had it put on because of Leila, she used to sleepwalk.”

She stepped to the side and I unlocked the door and let her step out of the room. She walked through glaring and flipping off the door knob, causing me to laugh again.

“You guys ready?” Max asked as he stood with Lucy by the door.

“Yep!” I replied.

Joanna walked by Max and looked at Lucy hard for a long moment. Finally she shook her head and sighed as she walked out the door. I furrowed my brow in confusion but shook it off and followed.

Robert told Max that this little gathering was going to be at his place, so we made our way there. The ride there most definitely was tense. I had no idea what was going on with Max, Lucy, and Joanna but apparently I wasn’t in on it and I probably wasn’t going to find out. There was no way in hell I was going to pry it out of them. Since it was so silent, I had to pop in a CD, I couldn’t take it anymore.

Before the CD started to play, I heard Joanna mumble something as she stared out the window, but didn’t quite make it out.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I often wonder why I sit and wait to die
What have I done to justify the sentence they gave?
Too many hours spent in darkness questioning
"How and why"?” she replied.

I looked at her for a moment, “What is that from?”

She slowly turned her head and looked at me with this blank, catatonic look on her face, “It’s off of Disturbed’s new CD. It just popped in my head.”

“You look, rather creepy. Please don’t do that.” I said with a chuckle. She smiled back which made her look that much creepier before turning to look out the window again. I heard Lucy giggle behind me and smiled at her.

When we got to Roberts we met them in the garage where our little event would be taking place. I noticed Brian was already drinking, going on and on about how much he’s been working out.

“Help me set up the table guys.” Robert said to Max and I.

Max and I started to unfold the table legs and sat it upright. Robert came in with plastic cups as Joanna, Lucy and Aden grabbed 3 to start drinking the more heavy liquor. After we set up 6 cups on each side, we filled them with beer and got the ping pong balls in a bucket. We turned on the stereo and let the game begin.

“Lucy! You’re up!” Max called. Lucy stepped up and picked up a ball. She aimed and tossed it, landing in a cup.

“Drink up bitch!” She yelled to Joanna.

I laughed as she bowed to Lucy and grabbed the cup and chugged the contents. She turned around and held out her hand. When I saw her eyes I knew she was pretty tipsy. Hell, we all were. But I haven’t seen her like this before. I handed her a ball and she took her turn.

The game ended in a total failure for everyone. Since there was liquor involved before hand, no one could stay sober long enough to finish the game.

I sat with Robert on a couple of bean bag chairs as I saw Max and Joanna go down onto the floor as she tackled him. I couldn’t see what was going on until I heard a victory cry from Joanna as she stood up sporting Max’s hat.

She looked down at him and made a muscle builder pose, “In your face BITCH!” she yelled. Just as she started laughing she got knocked down by Aden who was now trying to steal the hat. I leaned over to the side to see Aden and Max holding each leg as Joanna pulled herself away. When she got out of their grips, she crawled over to me.

“Hey.” She said, still on all fours.

“Why hello there.” I replied with a smile.

“You sir,” she slurred, “Look uber warm!”

“I am pretty warm.” I chuckled.

“Cool.” She said as she climbed on top of me and curled into my side.

Instinctively, I wrapped an arm around her as she rested her head on my shoulder. She grabbed for the beer in my hand and I let her have it. She took a long drink before handing it back. I chuckled and looked over at Robert. I saw him wiggle his eyebrows over his sunglasses and chuckled again.

I looked at Joanna and saw she was falling asleep. I looked over at Brian and saw him and Aden playing rock, paper scissors. From what I heard, that wasn’t a game you wanted to play with her, Joanna or Lucy. Then my gaze trailed to the floor where Max was sitting up against the wall with Lucy’s head on his lap.

I looked at my phone and saw it was almost 3:30. “Hey, you guys ready to head home?” I asked.

“Mhmm.” Joanna mumbled into my shoulder.

“Come on guys.” I said with a smile.

“You sure you okay to drive man?” Robert asked.

“Yeah I’m fine. I’ll get in touch with you tomorrow whenever we all decide to wake up. I know Leila wants to see you and Brian.” I replied.

“Good deal.”

It took sometime but I got everyone in the car and drove home carefully. I made sure I stayed two miles over the speed limit. This way I didn’t look too paranoid. When we got home, everyone was a little more collected so getting them in wasn’t such an issue.

“Can I have a blanket?” Joanna slurred, more tired than drunk.

“Yeah, why?” I replied.

“I’m letting Aden and Lucy sleep in my bed, so I’m gunna take the couch.” She replied.

“You can crash in my room if you want. I’ll be good.” I said.

She smirked, “Fine. I’ll go get some pajamas on.” She said before heading to her room.

As she did so, I went into my room and put on a pair of shorts and a shirt. I was heading to the bathroom when I heard some yelling. I ran out to the living room to see what was going on.

“What the fuck is this Lucy?!” Joanna screamed.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Lucy! You better fuckin answer me!”

“It’s my necklace Joanna!” Lucy replied.

“And what the fuck is this inside it? A fuckin tic tac?!” she yelled getting in her face.

“Back the fuck off Joanna. Stop mothering me!”

“Whoa! Lucy chill. You too Joanna.” Aden said getting in between them.

“LUCY! You fuckin promised me you’d stop! I’ll stop mothering you when you get your fuckin act together! Do you think I want to be an asshole?! I’m looking out for you and you’re wasting your fuckin life away!” Joanna yelled.

“Don’t talk to her like that. Back the fuck off.” Max said getting in her face.

“Get out of my fuckin face Green! This is your fuckin fault!” Joanna said getting closer to Max. Her New York accent was getting thick and to be quite honest, it scared me. I walked up to her and grabbed an arm while Aden grabbed the other.

“We’re leaving Craig. Lucy and I don’t need this shit.” Max said.

“NO! YOU’RE NOT LEAVING WITH HER! SHE’S STAYING PUT!” Joanna screamed trying to break mine and Aden’s hold.

“No! Come on Lucy, I have an apartment five miles east from here.” He said grabbing Lucy’s hand.

“Lucy, don’t leave!” Aden called.

“Max, man don’t do this.” I said pleadingly.

“Craig, we have to.” He replied.

“LUCY! Think of Matt!” Joanna said. When I looked at her I noticed she had tears streaming down her face.

Max started for the door, Lucy trailing behind. I saw the look in Lucy’s eyes, and the feeling was complicated. She looked confused and upset, but she continued to follow him. When the door shut, all was silent except for Joanna’s dog who was whimpering under the kitchen table.

The first to move was Joanna, who threw Lucy’s necklace at the door before running into my room crying. Aden started for her and I followed. When I walked in, I saw her crying into one of the pillows on my bed. Aden sat next to her holding her, she was crying too. Joanna sat up and held onto Aden as they tried to comfort each other. I wasn’t too sure what I should do, but I figure I’d try to soothe them too.

I sat next to them and wrapped my arms around them. Thankfully, instead of being pushed away, they both wrapped an arm around me and sobbed into my chest.

After sometime, Aden calmed down a bit and decided to call Brian and go to bed, leaving Joanna and I alone.

I sat up leaning against my headboard with her head resting on my chest. She stopped sobbing but kept sniffling every few seconds.

She took a long shaky breath before wiping her eyes and looking up at me. “What?” I asked.

“Thank you.” She said.

“Huh? What for?” I asked.

“Being here for me.” She said sniffling again.

“Oh, it’s nothing. There’s no need to thank me.”

She smiled for a moment. I smiled back until I saw her smile fade and I saw this look in her eyes that I’ve never seen before.

“Joanna. Are you-“ I was cut off when her lips collided with mine.

She caught me by surprise but I fell right into it. She straddled me and deepened the kiss. I felt her fingers grip my hair and I gripped her hips before trailing my fingers down her thighs. She started to grind her hips and I pulled away.

She looked down at me with a confused look, “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“We, we can’t do this. Not now.” I said. She looked upset, rejected, as I realized how it sounded. “No. I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean, we shouldn’t do this when you’re upset like this. It just doesn’t feel right. Trust me, I want to.” I said as I let my eyes wander up and down her body. “But I think we should wait, sleep on it for now.”

She brushed her hair behind her ear and nodded with a small smile, “Okay.”

I leaned up and planted a light kiss on her lips. She returned it and laid down next to me, pulling the covers over her. I got up and turned off the light before lying down next to her. I pulled her close to me nuzzled my face into the back of her neck and kissed her shoulder.

“Craig?” she said.

“Yes?” I replied.

“Why does this kind of shit happen to us? I mean, I thought we were getting through to them.” She said.

I sighed, “I don’t know Joanna, but everything will be okay.”

“Promise?” she asked.

“Promise.” I replied.

She reached for my hand and laced her fingers with mine, “Good night Mabbitt.” She said, I could hear the smile in her voice.

I couldn’t help but smile too, “Good night Toscano.” I replied before closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.