Crossroads

“So, Craig thinks it’s a good idea to get some sort of SUV.” I said putting another spoonful of Phish Food in my mouth.

“That IS a good idea.” She replied.

“Yeah, it is. But that would mean I’d probably be getting rid of my Celica. Watching this movie makes that fuckin difficult.” I exclaimed pointing at the screen with my spoon.

Today was our chill out day. We were both pretty big, well Lucy was huge; I was just a pleasant little beach ball. Craig and Max were out in L.A doing an interview on a radio show with Robert and Monte, and Leila was with Gabby, so we were left here alone eating ice cream and peanut butter watching Fast Five.

“Well, you never know. Maybe Craig will be nice enough to let you keep it.” She replied with a smile.

“That’d be nice,” I smiled back. “Besides, I wouldn’t ask him to get rid of his Challenger. We need some American Muscle.” I said making a face and flexing my arms.

She laughed, “What? Craig doesn’t have enough ‘American Muscle’ for you?”

“Oh, oh no. He has plenty of muscle for me.” I smirked back.

She giggled before her hands flew to her stomach. She looked down at it and grimaced, “Would you two stop fighting in there, PLEASE?! God.” She said.

“Give them more peanut butter!” I declared.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” She said scooping another spoonful of peanut butter into her mouth.

We continued to stuff our faces and watch the movie. When it was over we sat through the credits and continued to talk.

“So, got any names planned yet?” I asked her.

“Not completely. We have ideas but we just can’t seem to settle on a pair of names.” She sighed.

“It’s a difficult process, you wanna give them good names, don’t name your son Richard. Because when he gets older even I would call him Dick.” I replied.

She laughed as she smacked my arm. “You’re an asshole.”

I smiled, “I know.”

“What about you and Craig? Have your picked a name?” she asked.

“Mhm.” I replied as I shoved another spoonful of ice cream in my mouth.

“Oh this has got to be good.” She said smirking.

“What?!” I asked confused.

“You? Picking a name. You probably picked some unique, random name. Like Pearl or a fuckin fruit, Clementine. Don’t fall into the pit of stupid names celebrities give their spawn, please.” She replied.

I let out a little laugh, “Actually, Craig picked the first name for a girl, I picked her middle. And of course the last name will be Mabbitt. As for me I got to pick the name if it is a boy.”

“Oh. Interesting, what are the names?” she asked.

“Well, if it’s a girl, Harper Sage Mabbitt, and if it’s a boy, Anthony James Mabbitt.” I replied.

“Wow, those are amazing names.” She said.

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“Well, we will know the name in a bit won’t we?” she asked.

“Yes, we should actually get going in a few.” I replied.

“Well, it takes us forever to get anywhere so we should start moving like ten minutes ago.” She laughed.

“Let’s venture off!” I demanded with a laugh.

When we got in the car, Lucy let out a frustrated sigh. I looked over at her as she just glared out the window.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“THIS!” she exclaimed as she started beating the shit out of the seat belt. “It’s not fair! I’m not even 9 months pregnant and I’m already as big as Katie and Aden when they birthed their spawn!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I reached over and helped her with her seatbelt. “Well, you’re carrying twice the spawn. You are going to be bigger.”

The ride to the office was as fun as always. I let her blast the music of her choice and as always, I didn’t mind. We listened to a collection of Asking Alexandria, Bullet For My Valentine, and of course, Max’s favorite, Marilyn Manson.

As soon as I sat down in a seat in the waiting room, my phone began to ring. When I looked at the phone I saw it was Craig.

“Yesh?” I answered.

“So? Is it a boy or a girl?” he asked.

I sighed, “Craig, I hope to God this baby is not as impatient as you. I just sat down in the waiting room.”

“Oh, well, did Lucy go with you?” he asked.

“Of course.” I laughed.

“Tell her I said hi.” He requested. Instead I just handed her my phone.

“Hello?” she asked.

There were a series of topics they ran through in two minutes. They were about to continue on however I was called to the back.

“Mrs.Mabbitt?” a young, black haired nurse called.

We walked, well waddled, into the back and were led to a room. I sat up on the table as Lucy took a seat in one of the chairs. I leaned back on the table and sighed.

“I feel weird not being up on the table when I come in here with you.” She said with a small laugh.

I laughed along with her, “Yeah, when you come with me you get to sit in the daddy chair.”

We chatted for a while before Dr. White came in. When she entered, she had a smile spread across her face. We knew we were a couple of her favorite patients.

“Hello ladies.” She greeted.

“Hey Dr. White.” we replied.

“How are we doing?” she asked.

“Pretty good. This one is kicking, a lot.” I replied rubbing my beach-ball stomach.

“That’s good,” she smiled, “lots of activity.”

“Yeah, but her twins are constantly fighting.” I laughed.

“Well, we can check out what’s going on after Joanna here if you’d like.” She said with a smile.

“Nah, I think I can wait till my next appointment.” She replied.

Dr. White nodded before getting up to wash her hands, “So, are you ready to find out what you’re having?”

“Indeed!” I replied.

She got all of her equipment together before squirting the cold goo on my stomach. She looked up at the monitor as she probed my stomach and smiled when she found what she was looking for.

“Ah. You see that?” she as pointing to the screen.

I squinted but couldn’t really make out what I was supposed to be looking at. “No, I don’t.”

“Exactly!” she replied. “It’s a girl! Congratulations.”

I raised a fist in the air, “HARPERRRR!”

Lucy and Dr. White let out a laugh. “That’s a lovely name. Very unique.” She said wiping the goo off my stomach.

“Thank you, my husband picked it. I was given middle name duty. Harper Sage.” I replied with a smirk.

“That is a REALLY pretty name!” she said. I laughed and thanked her.

“So when should I come back doc?” I asked.

“Well, you could come in with Lucy in three weeks if you’d like.” She replied.

“Yeah, if I don’t push them out by then.” Lucy said with a sarcastic tone.

“Well, you’re not due for a few more months so I would hope you don’t give birth within three weeks.” She said.

“It would be against their will. I don’t know how much longer I can take their fighting.”

“Patience Lucy, patience.” She told her with a warm smile.

We left soon after with another appointment card and giant smiles. When we got in the car I turned to Lucy.

“So it looks like your little girl is going to have another girl around.” I said.

“Well she had Alaina anyway but, at least Harper will be closer in age.” She replied.

“Indeed, and I should probably call Craig. He’s going to shit when he finds out she’s a girl.” I laughed.

“Better put that shit on speaker.” Lucy said giggling with excitement.

Craig picked up on the second ring, “Hello?”

“Triplets babe, TRIPLETS!” I exclaimed.

“WHAT?!” He yelled, I was very unsure about how he felt about this, but I had to play along for a moment.

“What the hell kind of sperm do you have? Did you just have to one up Max and Matt? Like really?!” I said trying so hard not to laugh.

“We’re having triplets?” he asked after being silent for a long moment.

“Fuck no.” I replied laughing.

I heard a sigh of relief and a small laugh come from the other end. “Do you at least know what our baby is?”

“Yes, in a few months we will spawn a beautiful Harper Sage Mabbitt.” I replied waiting for the victory cries. They didn’t take long.

“FUCK YES!” he yelled. “DUDE! Max, man, I’m havin another little girl.” I heard him yell away from the phone. Lucy and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Excited much?” I asked.

“Babe, you cannot believe how happy I am right now.” He replied. “When we get back in a few days, we’re going out. All four of us.”

“Haha, alright babe. But I’m gunna get us home, we’re starving, as usual.” I laughed.

“Alright. I love you, so fuckin much.” He said.

“I love you too.” I replied.

“Oh, Max said he loves Lucy and that he misses her.” He added.

“I love and miss him too!” Lucy yelled into the phone.

He let out a laugh, “I will be sure to deliver the message.”

“Alrighty, byeeeee!” I said before hanging up.

“Wow, he is really excited. I can’t imagine what he’s going to be like when you give birth to her.” She said.

“Shit, I know. But don’t act like Max is all high and mighty, he’s gunna start the water works when that little girl comes shooting out of your vagina. Matt too when his son comes out sporting some stylish dimples.” I replied.

“Yeah, yeah that’s true. Now come on I’m fuckin hungry!” she yelled.

We decided on food and grabbed some Taco Bell on the way home. We ended up where we spent the majority of the day in front of the TV and rented Bridesmaids. I pulled a chicken quesadilla out of the bag and set it on my stomach. Having your stomach big enough to make a table was about the only positive thing you could get out of being huge. Lucy was even luckier in that department.

“I still think it’s hilarious that I’m a little less than a month behind you yet you look about two months ahead. It’s magic!” I said with a mouthful.

“Shut up skank.” She said practically shoving a whole taco in her mouth.

We got to a point in the movie where we couldn’t stop laughing and I felt as if I were going to literally piss myself if I continued further. I got up and made my way to the bathroom, still laughing.

When I closed the door and turned to the toilet, I nearly jumped out of my skin as I noticed Dribblez was lying in the tub.

“Dribblebutt! You almost scared the piss out of me!” I exclaimed. He replied by wagging his tail.

As I sat down to handle my business, I noticed him staring at me. I furrowed my brow as he continued to wag his tail.

“Look away beast!” I demanded. He just cocked his head to the side and continued to wag.

“Ugh!” I huffed before sliding the curtain as far as I could in my position. Once I was satisfied he couldn’t see me, I handled my business.

“Out dog.” I demanded as I walked out. He jumped out of the tub and ran passed me and into the living room.

“Dude, guess what!” Lucy said as I sat on the couch.

“What?”

“Max just texted me, they’ll be home tonight!” she replied.

“YES!” I yelled as I raised a fist in the air for the second time today. She giggled and un-paused the movie. However my attention soon faded as exhaustion hit me and I fell asleep.

I walked into the house back in Cali and hung my keys up by the door.

“Aden? Matt? Zacky? Jimmy? Lex? Hellooo?” I called out, but no one answered.

I shrugged as I headed for the den and rubbed my stomach, Harper kicking like crazy. “A few more months little one,” I whispered to my stomach, “you still have some baking to do.”

I started flipping through the channels, trying to find something interesting to watch. I settled for Beavis and Butthead as I kicked up my feet on the ottoman and relaxed.

Sometime later I heard footsteps upstairs. Immediately my mind jumped to the creepy ass stalker. Normally, I make fun of the stupid bitch that goes to investigate a noise in a horror movie but when it happens to you, you always turn into that stupid bitch.

I walked over to the foot of the stairs and looked up resting a hand on the end of the railing and the other on my stomach.

“Hello?” I called. If I was at least down here I could try and make a run for the front door if it was a threat.

No answer, but still movement.

“Who’s up there?” I called.

Still no answer.

“Okay, I know this house isn’t haunted so who the fu-“ I cut myself off when I saw Johnny at the top of the stairs.

“Joanna?” he asked.

I sighed in relief, “Johnny, you ass-gnome. You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry hun.” He said as he made his way downstairs. “Let’s go in the kitchen.” He added.

He made his way to the kitchen and I followed. I leaned against the counter and watched him make his way to the sink.

“Joanna, did you ever notice that when you come around people, they get uneasy?” he asked me.

I furrowed my brow in confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“Ever since we found out you were pregnant and came back, everyone gets a sense of evil from you” he replied.

“The fuck?” I said.

“Joanna that baby inside you is evil. Yet you, like the rest of the girls, are innocent and pure in heart, we can’t let it take over you and darken your soul.” He said.

I was shocked beyond belief. “Johnny that is one of the sickest things I have ever heard you say. I don’t know if you’re upset because it’s not your best friend’s baby or something, but that was low.”

“Oh, no no no no, Joanna, this isn’t something out of spite, it’s just a bad seed. These things tend to happen. See I love you Joanna, just like the other girls, we’re a family. And I cannot let this thing take away the good in you.” He said before darting at me with a knife.

I screamed and tried to run away but fell to the floor. He turned me over, straddling me, and felt around my stomach.

“I have to find where her head is located.” He said.

“GET OFF OF ME!!!” I shrieked as I punched him in the face.

“OW! What the FUCK!” I heard Craig yell.

My eyes flew open and I saw Craig standing in front of me with a hand over his right eye. Lucy was cowering on the left side of the couch with her eyes wide and Max in the doorway with the same expression.

I shot up out of my spot as best as I could and flung my arms around him. He jumped when our skin made contact and relaxed a moment later.

“What, the fuck.” He said again.

“I’m sorry! I was having a horrible dream.” I replied as I inspected his face. There was a bruise forming rather quickly around his eye and cheek. I grimaced and he smirked.

“What?” I asked.

“You made a Lucille Ball face.” he replied.

I rolled my eyes and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and handed it to him.

“So what was this ‘horrible’ dream you had that caused you to punch me.” Craig asked sitting next to Lucy.

I leaned against the door way and took in a deep breath, “Well, I went to the house in Cali and it seemed like no one was home, so I decided to watch TV. Well after watching for a bit I heard footsteps upstairs and it turned out to be Johnny. He apologized for scaring the hell out of me and said we should go to the kitchen. So we did. Then out of nowhere he starts talking about how the baby is a bad seed and needs to be destroyed before she like, soils my soul or something. So he tried to kill the baby.”

They all just looked at me with a ‘what-the-fuck’ expression. Then Lucy snorted a laugh.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothin, I just know now why you said ‘ass-gnome’ in your sleep.” She said laughing.

I couldn’t help but laugh along with her. “Okay, now I am seriously going to bed, I’m exhausted.”

“I’m coming along, I’m ready to knock the fuck out.” Craig replied.

“Alright, good night you two!” Lucy called. I smiled and waved before making my way to the bedroom.

I stripped down and put on a t shirt and sweatpants. Craig crawled into bed in a pair of shorts and yawned obnoxiously.

I snorted a little laugh and waddled into bed. “So, it’s a girl.”

“Harper Sage Mabbitt. I love it. Leila is so excited.” Craig said smiling.

I tugged on one of his gauges and planted a kiss on his lips. “I know she is. Every time I see her she asks me when the baby is going to pop out.”

“Well, not too much longer,” he said as he shimmied down to rest his head on my chest.

He began to rub my stomach again like he did every night. It was something that helped me fall asleep at night.

He kissed me once more, “Good night babe.”

I smiled, “Good night Sir Mabbitt.”

He rested his head again and kissed my stomach, “Good night Harper. Daddy and Mommy love you.”