Shotgun K

The clean-up of the incident went swiftly after that, and all I really remember was a whole lot more apologies, stares and whispering that followed. We didn’t stay at the café for long; all of the sudden it was as if I couldn’t get enough air. So using an offer to give Sun Hi a ride back to the University as an excuse, we made a quick getaway.

The effects of the caffeine seemed to be long gone and too short-lived; as I got into the driver’s seat, the familiar feeling of deep fatigue settled in again. I had discarded my drenched hoodie on the floor of the back seat along with my bag. The coffee had seeped right down to the t-shirt I was wearing, and I could see now that my skin was slightly red where I caught the hot beverage. But at least it wasn’t too bad; all it felt like was a light sun burn.

Sun Hi climbed into the passenger seat, dropping her bag at her feet. In her lap was her sandwich, neatly wrapped and packed into a paper bag. Neither of us talked or moved for a bit; I think we were both a bit tired after the lunch break disaster.
But then, like the last time, Sun Hi was the one to break the silence with a heavy sigh.

“Only you.” she muttered. “You…you have yet to fail to amaze me.”

I raised an eyebrow at her strange exasperated tone and gave her a sideway glance. Somehow what she was saying didn’t seem to be a compliment.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
She sighs again, and this time I caught her shaking her head.
“Only you would cause a scene like that and get out of it smoothly like you did.” she said. I couldn’t tell is she was irritated or incredulous. “And to watch you twist the situation in your favor like it’s nothing and the people there eating it up… ugh.”
I frowned.
“Sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said. “And what’s so bad about getting out of a bad situation smoothly?”
“Nothing; that’s not what I’m trying to say.” Sun Hi sighed. “I’m just saying, your level of skill and capability is scary good. Like the little story you had spun out about your clumsy busboy days to sympathize with the klutzy waitress. Just so you know, I won’t fall for your charms and I don’t buy those pretty lines one bit!”
I snorted a bit and rolled my eyes.
“Well good, because it wasn’t true.” I said.
I saw her head snap towards my direction, and I can practically feel her incredulous stare.
“You…you’re a con-artist…” she murmured, sounding as if to be in disbelief.

I gave her a tired look before I put the keys into the ignition and started the engine.
I pulled off from the side of the road and joined into the mild traffic without another word.
“You’re such a scammer! You should be ashamed of yourself, being able to trick people so easily!” Sun Hi continued to rant.
“If you say so,” I sighed, not really bothered by her scolding.
“I knew it! I knew you couldn’t have worked at some small sandwich shop!” she went on.
I let out a low hum, oddly amused at how heated she seemed.
“Well, no, that part is true.” I said. “I did work at a sandwich shop.”

I glanced over to her and saw an incredulous look on her face.

“It’s true. So is the part of me being a pitiful busboy and being discovered outside the shop during my shift.” I said earnestly.
I could see Sun Hi’s brow pulling together in a look of confusion even from the corner of my eye.
“Then what part of the story was made up?” she asked.
“The nickname; oh, and my boss wasn’t all that superstitious.” I admitted. “The closest thing I got to a nickname was a generic yelling of ‘idiot’ or something else that was just as boring.”
“Then what was the point of changing the story to be much more…elaborate?” Sun Hi asked, sounding mystified.
I shrugged nonchalantly, turning my attention back to the road.
“Because I thought if I just told that story as it was, it wouldn’t seem as believable.” I said. “I added that bit of the superstition in to make me sound a bit more credible, I guess. I just personalized the story so it didn’t seem like I was just telling her a story because I pitied her in that situation.”

I hummed to myself again, only to realize my passenger was oddly quiet. I threw another glance her way and saw that she had somewhat of an appalled expression on her face.
“I can’t believe you.” she said flatly.
“What? Why?” I demanded. “Wasn’t that a good reason?”
“You still lied smoothly! You acted out that role right down to the finest detail! From the way you told the story and to the expression---aaahhh, you are scary!”
“You’re not making any sense.” I returned. “I don’t really see what I did that was so wrong.”
Suddenly, Sun Hi attacked me out of nowhere, punching me in the arm. Hard. “Con-Artist! Scammer! Lying demon!”
“Yah! I’m driving!” I yelled, bewildered.
“You’re no human! I don’t believe it!” she continued to yell. “Who causes a scene like that and receive admiration and thanks and walks out with handful of coupons?!”
“I don’t get why you have to be so upset; you didn’t fall for my act, right? And I didn’t ask for the coupons, they practically shoved them into my hands!” I demanded, lifting my right arm to defend myself against her assault. “And in the end, you ended up getting your sandwich for free anyways. So you benefited from the incident as well!”

Sun Hi stopped, her hand stopping in mid-punch. But then she slowly settled back into her seat.
“…yea, I suppose that was pretty sweet.” she muttered.
I snorted and shook my head.
“I don’t get you.” I muttered under my breath.

The car finally regained its quiet and peace, though a small tension remained. It wasn’t a long ride to the University campus anyway.
When I got close enough, Sun Hi pointed to the small parking spot up ahead.
“Right about there is good.” she said.
Silently I moved into the parking lot, which didn’t have a lot of cars anyway. I also noticed that not a lot of people were around.
“You sure?” I asked. “You don’t have far to walk, do you?”
Sun Hi shrugged.
“Nah, it’s fine.” she said. “I like to walk anyway.”

She turned to look at me and gave me an even look.
“You look like shit.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
“Yea, you told me that already.” I said.
“But even now you can still have girls swooning at your feet. What does that tell you?”
“That I have the natural looks and talent.” I returned without a moment’s pause.
That earned me another punch, which I blocked.
“Hey, just repeating what you told me.” I said, grinning.
Sun Hi grouched, giving me a glare though it didn’t hold any threatening edge.
“You’re being cocky and arrogant.” she said.
“I know I’m arrogant.” I returned.
She shook her head and muttered under her breath disapprovingly.
“Fine, I’ll leave you to your arrogance.” she said.
She undid her seatbelt and got out of the car, only to turn around again.
“Oh, one little handy tip for you.” she said, hoisting her backpack over her shoulder. “Stick two spoons in the freezer and the next time you are tired or look like a raccoon, just take them out and press them to your eyes for a few minutes. That should at least lighten you up a bit.”

With that, she slammed the car door and waved once before she started her way to the nearest building. I watched her walk until she was safely around the curve before I started the engine again.
I was just driving out of the lot when I heard my phone ring. Without looking, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.
“Yeoboseyo?” I answered.
“Jae-Sung,” I heard Mr. Park’s voice. “Where are you right now?”
“I’m on my way home now.” I said, turning onto the main road. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing yet, but I just got a call from President Chung. Apparently his connection has informed him that the people assigned to your case have arrived in Seoul and will be in to meet with us sometime tonight.”

A lump seemed to form in my chest, and suddenly I felt the weight of my situation weighing down on me. I pulled off to the side of the road again and parked the car.

“Where and what time?”
“Uh…President Chung said these people should be there soon enough, and it will be at your place. So he said that you should stay home for the remainder of the day and wait.” my manager informed me.
Wow, this was happening real fast… somehow the idea of meeting my bodyguard did not make me feel better or safer. In fact, just the idea of it freaked me out.
Because then the mail, the package, the girl in the park and the stalker---they were all real.

My mind was reeling before I could stop it---the girl at the promotion; her hair and her shirt, her murder…the conference room; the yellow tape, the hidden package underneath the cloth, that dripping…that puddle of red----

I don’t want to meet him.

“Jae-Sung? Are you still there?”
I blinked, snapping myself out of my thoughts.
“Yea,” I rasped, swallowing the pressure pushing against my throat. “Yea I’m here.”
I cleared my throat and glanced at the clock on the dashboard: 1:28 PM.
“Mr. Park, I’ll be home in a bit. I just need to do one more thing.” I said.
I hung up the phone without waiting for his reply and restarted the engine. I pulled off of the curb with a new destination in mind.



I don’t really know what possessed me to think this was even an acceptable idea. This felt too wrong, almost twisted. But I couldn’t leave.

The wind was cool against my bare arms and the fallen leaves rustled as it scraped along the paved path of Yongsan Park. The bright yellow and orange leaves were beautiful and these colors painted the masterpiece scenery and reflected on the surface of large lake. It was a scene of peace---which felt all too out of place.
I wandered along the path, not really sure where I was going. A few people passed me, mostly joggers but none made any indication to show that they have recognized me. Which suited me just fine---It’s just not right for me to be here. Not with what I was looking for.
I shoved my hands into my jeans and shuffled along, trying to make some use out of the calm setting and mute the nervous thoughts.

Why was I even doing this? What would this even achieve? Why did I need to see it?
I don’t know what it was---dark curiosity? A challenge? That felt wrong…disgustingly wrong.
And what was I going to do once I saw the place? What was I supposed to feel? Surely it wouldn’t change anything. So why was I here? Why did I come here?
Despite all these thoughts, my feet kept me moving forward, pressing on with my eyes glued to the road in front of me. I was now away from the lake, and all I saw was the path and the trees. This was a huge park; the site could be anywhere…
I sighed, and kicked a rock that was in front of me away and watched it skip down the road. It clattered softly against the pavement before spinning to a stop.
This was meaningless and a waste of time.
There was a bench on the side of the path just a few yards away. I dragged myself over there and dropped down at the edge of the bench.

For a while I sat there, staring holes into the ground, wanting the answers to appear to me somehow.
What are you doing, Jae-Sung? I thought to myself. What are you looking for?
I knew the answer, but refused to say it. I wanted to go home right now; I walked for a good thirty minute with nothing catching my attention. I should be happy that I saw nothing. There was nothing---

“Ah…I hate to…I don’t want to intrude but…”

A hesitant soft voice broke the silence around me and I nearly jumped a mile. I snapped my head up and straightened where I sat to find myself staring at a woman. I saw her eye grow wide, her expression taking on a startled one.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” she said, sounding sincere. “I was just wondering, aren’t you cold just wearing a t-shirt?”

I blinked and looked down at my clothes. Ah, she’s right; my outfit wasn’t exactly appropriate for fall weather, even though it was nice.
“Oh…uh, no it’s alright. I’m fine.” I replied politely.

I studied the woman, taking in her own appearance. She was clearly older than me, maybe around mid-forties. She was small-bodied and looked very fragile, but it wasn’t just her size that made her seem weak. She look tired…no, she looked… What was it? Something about this woman pulled at me, something familiar in a way that it made sense here. But she was a stranger, but what was it?
Then I noticed she was clutching something in her hands, some paper rolled and crumpled in her vice grip as she held it to her chest. She held onto it with something that looked like desperation, as if she was clinging onto her life source…
I was about to ask if she needed help when she spoke again.
“I…I actually also wanted to ask you something else.” she said. I noticed that her voice shook a little bit. A feeling of dread filled my chest as my mind started to spin with the possible identity of this woman.
I watched her cautiously as she continued.
“You are Seo Jae-Sung, aren’t you?” she asked.
I swallowed, and nodded my head.
“Yes.” I said clearly.
I’m used to being recognized, but I would’ve never imagined ever being recognized like this. Or feeling the way as I did. There was no sense of pride or arrogance, but rather like fear and dread. As if I had done something wrong.
The woman just nodded, and I saw her expression twist into one of pain and grief. The grip she had on the piece of paper tightened and I was afraid she would collapse. I stood up slowly from the bench and faced her, watching her carefully.
The woman took a deep breath and composed herself, though the pain was still clear in her eyes.
“We’ve never met, but my daughter was a huge fan of yours.” she said, her voice trembling.

My heart sank through the ground. I didn’t need any proof, I just knew.
“You’re Kim Eun-Hee’s mother.” I said. It wasn’t a question.
The woman seemed slightly startled, because she looked at me with a stunned expression.
“…yes. I’m Kim Yoora.” she said.
I nodded, my throat too tight to give an actual response. I swallowed and let out a shaky breath.
“I…I heard about the incident first on the radio. My deepest condolences, Mrs. Kim.” I said, my voice coming out low. I bowed my head slightly, expressing sincerity. I heard her let out a slow and careful breath.
“Did the police come and talk to you?” she asked.
I froze, but I forced myself to answer.
“Yes.” I said, keeping my head bowed. Did she know the real reason why they came to talk to me?
“So you know everything…what happened to my daughter.” Mrs. Kim said.
I forced myself to keep breathing as I straightened up. But I still couldn’t look at her.
“Yes.” I replied again.
“Do you know what I am going to ask you next?” she asked, her voice suddenly taking on a stronger tone.
I looked up and stared at her, confused. She stared evenly back, and in her eyes I saw resolve.
Then it clicked, like being thrown into a bucket of ice water.
“Mrs. Kim,” I started, stunned. She kept her solid gaze, but I could see her shaking behind her brave mask.
What did this mother think of me?
“Mrs. Kim,” I started again. “I didn’t kill your daughter.”
“You’re not going to say anything to defend yourself?” she asked, not angry or sad but composed.
“It’s the truth. I don’t have anything to be defensive of.” I replied truthfully.
Mrs. Kim continued to study me, reading my face carefully. I let her; I really wanted her to see that I was telling the truth. Suddenly, Sun Hi’s words echoed in my head, digging into my chest like a knife.

I can’t believe you…

What if she tells me that, right here and now? My mind went on with the echo.

You should be ashamed of yourself, being able to trick people so easily…

But I was telling the truth. I didn’t harm this girl. I’m not a murderer. But will Mrs. Kim see that? Will her grief, pain and anger allow that?
I don’t really get what it was, but to just think that she would say that I was lying…

“Why are you here?”

I inhaled sharply, the unexpected question startling me.
“I--- I, uh…” I stammered, caught off guard.
“Mr. Seo, why did you come here?” she asked again.
“I…I don’t know.” I said. I saw her eyes harden at my response, so I dropped my gaze to the ground before I continued. “But I think…I think it was to make sure it was real. That all this isn’t just some bad nightmare.”
I stopped talking and waited, bracing myself for yelling, lashing and blame. But it never came. It took me a while to bring my eyes back from the ground and back to the grieving mother. It was another shock to realize there were tears pouring freely down her face.

“…Me too.” she murmured.

With that, she weakly collapsed onto the bench, and sobbed. I saw something fall as she moved, and instinctively went to pick it up. I saw that it was a photo of her and a much younger Eun-Hee, crumpled from her grip. Without looking at it, I picked it up off the ground and turned back to the bench. She didn’t seem like she would stop crying anytime soon as I awkwardly I sat down beside her and passed her the photo.
As I reached over to hand her the photo, her hand caught mine. Her hand was worn with age and it was warm.
Like a mother’s hand would be.
I stayed still and let her fingers curl around my wrist and anchor me to the bench. I didn’t say anything to calm her. What could I possibly say?
So I just sat there, knowing that as wrong as it felt, silence was the only thing I could give.

I was right. I should’ve never came here.