Hotel California

"Mikey" I said looking him in his sorrow filled eyes. I could see the sadness in his face. I felt all the weight of the world fall above me.
He stood up and sat down on the edge of my bed.

The fight didn’t matter anymore, not even all the things we had said to each other. None of that mattered to us anymore.
He quickly hugged me, really tight and I started to cry on his chest.
"I’m so sorry Mikey, I was so scared, I thought he was going to rape me and kill me"
"I was so scared when your mom called me," he said with his voice breaking. "I didn’t know what had happened Alex" I hugged him a tight as I could.
"Im sorry for everything I said yesterday, I was so stupid"
"No, no. It doesn’t matter anymore Alex" he started playing with my hair just like he loved to do before.
"Dont leave me please. I don’t want to be alone"
"I won’t, ill stay here, as long as needed"
We stayed just like that for a while, just hearing each other breathing. He knew that I didn’t want to talk about it. He knew that all I wanted was to be there in his arms.

The hours passed. Mom came back and insisted on speaking about it, which I refused to do. Couldn’t she understand that I just wanted to forget about it? Like it never happened.

A while later, finally realizing that she was getting nowhere with her questions, mom decided to leave. Which I totally didn’t mind.

Mikey stayed with me hours and hours to an end. He had only left the room once to get coffee.
"I can’t believe that I acted like such an idiot"
"Don’t say that. You were just defending your point"
"Well know I notice how wrong I was"
"Don’t worry Alex, things are fine now. And that’s what matters. "
"Yeah, I think so"
"Everything is going to be fine," said Mikey taking my hand. We were leaving the hospital and he was taking me home. Like always my mom hadn’t gotten there on time.

Neither one of us said much on the way home. I just stared out the window. It was a nice, fresh and sunny day, it was a shame that I didn’t want to enjoy one bit of it.

When we got too my house we directly walked towards my bedroom, Mikey sat down on my bed and I took some clothes. I definitely needed a shower. I got inside my bathroom, and filled up the tub to the brim. I took my clothes off and entered into the warm water.

The Luke warm water was like heaven to my skin. I stayed with my eyes clothes for a good while. It somehow took away the feeling of being nauseated with me. The feeling that was so real. That repulsion.

"I was starting to get worried," Mikey, said when I opened my bathroom door and got back inside my room.
"I just didn’t want to leave the tub"
"I understand" Mikey smiled and stayed there. He looked so peaceful but at the same time I knew how worried he was. Because of me, because of what was going to happen.
I thought it better to just lie down and rest for the afternoon. So Mikey stayed with me.

I lay down and closed my eyes feeling how I was starting fall asleep, but before that I felt Mikey sitting down beside me and put his hand on top of my head. I fell asleep right there.

Not for long of course.

"Alex"
"Yeah?” I said opening my eyes slowly, waking up from my short slumber.
"Someone is knocking the door,” he said softly.
My door opened suddenly revealing Tom.
"Alexandra" Tom said in a surprisingly angry voice.
Right there I remember. I had completely forgotten about my boyfriend.
"What the hell happened?" he said coming closer to my bed. "Your mom just told me everything… how is this possible?"
I really didn’t know what to answer, because if you really think about it… real hard. How was it possible? And how could I just explain it. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence now was it?

"Tom" was the first thing I said after everything that had just ran though my head. "I can’t explain it"
"Of course you can! What the fuck where you doing that far away? And by yourself? How can you be so dumb? "
Tom looked even more pissed off than when he entered the room.
"It was a mistake, I didn’t notice when I got there. It wasn’t my fault"
"Yes it was! You shouldn’t have been there! "
"Are you blaming me?” I asked completely astonished.
"You shouldn’t have been there… "
"I can’t believe this… are you mad? Its like you're telling me that I deserved it"
"Technically you where looking for it"
"What?” Mikey and I asked at the same time. Now realising that he was still in the room, and that he ha stayed silent. "Of course not! What the hell is wrong with you? “I asked angry one step away from screaming my head off at him.”I can’t believe that you are justifying what that bastard did to me… you're sick"
"My god! You're trying to flip everything around aren’t you? "
"What are you talking about?”
"You’re trying to blame someone else for your mistakes!”
"My mistake? I was almost raped! You were not there, you didn’t get beaten up, you didn’t feel the hands of a strange man between your legs… I did! "
"See? You're just trying to blame everyone else. "
"Get out of here" I yelled with tears springing from my eyes, in someone really close to a panic attack.
"Oh really?” Tom asked sarcastically.
"Yes, this is over.”
"What?”
"This… relationship… is over"
"You can’t do that!”
"Of course I can. Listen to what you are telling me. I can’t be with someone who blames me for being molested. "
"You can’t do this Alexandra"
"Watch me" I looked into his eyes which were still filled with hate. "Get out"

Tom left the room and I stayed on my bed.

I can’t believe that my boyfriend, the guy who was supposed to be worried about me, was blaming this on me.
I couldn’t believe he had uttered those hurtful words toward me. I turned around and there was Mikey looking straight into my eyes. And in his eyes I could see the understanding I needed, everything I needed and what anyone else just couldn’t offer me.
"Mikey"
I didn’t have to say a single word after that, Mikey knew me. And he knew I needed him by my side. And that I needed to be in his arms.
He hugged me, tight. Not saying a word.

"I can’t believe he said that"
"And I can’t believe that I was his girlfriend for so long. I didn’t even know him. I’m such an idiot"
"No you are not. God Alex, how could you know that he was going to react that way?"
"I can’t believe I fought with you for him"
"Just relax"

I breathed, and I stayed in his arms for what seemed hours.

Even though I knew that I had Mikey there, and that everything would be fine. I couldn’t help to feel like I had lost something. My dignity and Tom. Even as a friend.