Cheerio

My eyelids felt heavy and fought against me as I struggled to open them. After a minute, they relented, and I squinted against the bright sunlight that invaded the unfamiliar room as I looked around.

Mom and Dad were sitting in a couple of chairs next to the window, Mom resting her head on Dad’s shoulder, his arms around her. I didn’t know that, even though he was back, that they were actually a thing again. I figured he was sleeping on the couch. But no, it looked like his stay was going to be pretty permanent. Just thinking about it made my stomach churn, and I felt nauseas again.

I turned my direction to Garrett, who was sleeping on the tile floor, his arm curled up under his head as a pillow. His breathing was slow and steady, his face free of any concern.

The next thing I noticed was an IV pole next to me. It took me a second to realize that it had a tube that ended with a needle, inserted deeply into the large, puffy blue vein on the inside of my arm.

“Ugh,” I groaned, shutting my eyes and turning away from it. Needles were not my friends, and my stomach felt too unsettled to be taking in that info. But of course, now that I saw the needle, I could feel it moving under my skin, even when I wasn’t thinking about it.

So I was in the hospital. Gross. At first, I was confused as to why, but then I remembered how I passed out during Glee Club.

My face heated up as a blush rushed to appear. How embarrassing that I fainted in front of the people that were finally starting to accept me as one of their own, instead of tip-toeing around me as an outsider.

Just then, a nurse threw the door open. “I’m telling you,” she muttered angrily, “she’s not even awake yet. The doctors had us sedate her for a couple days to make sure she didn’t interfere with the administration of minerals through her IV.”

“Even if she’s not awake, I want to see her,” a familiar voice responded gruffly. “Look! I have a teddy bear. I promise not to wake up her family.”

I snuck a peek at the clock and saw that it was actually six thirty in the morning. So what was someone doing, visiting me this early?

But when Puck finally stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, forming a barrier between the irritated nurse and himself, it made sense. He was stopping by before school.

“Hi,” I greeted, a smile taking over my face in spite of myself. I knew I probably looked like a hot mess, but somehow, it didn’t really matter. Maybe it was because I knew Puck wouldn’t really care.

He looked over at me, shocked and scared. “Hey,” he finally whispered back. “I, uh…the nurse said you were sleeping.”

“I just woke up,” I responded. Slowly, I forced myself into a sitting position, ignoring the fact that my head still felt funky and I was slightly dizzy. Probably from being fucking sedated. God, if that wasn’t mental-patient material, I didn’t know what was.

“Oh, okay.” There was an awkward silence before he walked toward me, carrying a tan-colored teddy bear with a huge purple bow around its neck. “This is supposed to be a get-well present. It’s kind of lame, but…” He shrugged, not sure how to finish his statement.

“No, it’s perfect. Thank you.” I reached out and took it. Its fur was even softer than it looked. After settling it into a sitting position beside me, I clasped my hands together. “How long have I been passed out?”

“A couple days,” he answered. He was still standing kind of far away, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. And I couldn’t help but notice that he was doing all he could not to make eye-contact with me.

“Hey, eating disorders aren’t catching,” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

He finally stared into me, and I could see the tears pooling into his eyes. “You have no idea, Evie. No clue.”

“What?”

He sighed and kneeled on the floor next to my bed, since there were no more chairs available. “When you passed out in that room…I knew immediately it was because of your eating disorder. Do you know how guilty I felt, knowing that it was my fault that you could have died?”

“I wasn’t close to dying,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, you were,” he snapped at me. “You hadn’t eaten anything, nothing at all, in God knows how long. When you got here, they said you were malnourished, and some of the symptoms you had, that showed how far along your disease was…it was gross.”

Well, I knew that much. It was part of the reason that, when I had been a Cheerio, I was careful not to get into any real relationships. I didn’t want anyone to see me that way. Plus, being close to people wasn’t my thing.

“I did eat,” I defended quietly, weakly. “I just…threw it up after.”

“That doesn’t get you any of the vitamins, you idiot,” Puck grumbled. “But it doesn’t matter because you’re here now. The doctors know, the nurses know…your family knows.”

Puck nodded toward them, and I followed his gaze. My family, all sleeping and looking like angels. What would happen when they woke up?

I shook my head slowly, not wanting to think about it, before looking at him again. “Look, Puck…you can’t blame yourself. You were just doing what I told you to do.”

“Since when do I take orders from a chick?” he joked, running his hand through his Mohawk.

“I can be pretty convincing,” I chuckled. “But my point is that me passing out, all of this…none of it is your fault. I didn’t get worse because I told you. Nothing is linked back to you.”

“I still should have told someone.”

“And betrayed me? That sure wouldn’t score you any points.”

He reached forward and took my hand, which I noticed had a little clamp on my index finger to monitor my heart rate. “Speaking of that…look,” he let out a deep breath and connected his eyes to mine again so I could see the pain he really felt, “I kept my distance from you because that was what you wanted me to do. You told me over and over again that you didn’t really want anything to do with me, that we weren’t friends.”

I felt a pang in my chest as I remembered. God, I was such a bitch, even when I was trying to force myself to adjust to the normal population.

“But I just want to let you know that I’m not going to listen to you anymore. I’m here for you, okay? If you need anyone to talk to, and Kurt isn’t answering his phone or whatever,” I interrupted him with a laugh, “then I’m always available.”

“Thanks, Puck,” I said, and was shocked when my voice sounded wobbly.

“And, as far as I’m concerned, we’re friends.”

“Friends,” I echoed, patting his hand that was resting on top of mine.

“And maybe, someday, it’ll be more than that.”

“I still don’t get that. We don’t even really know each other.”

“Oh, I think I know you better than you think I do. But I’ll fill you in on how it all happened another time.” He got to his feet and brushed off the knees of his loose-fitting jeans. “But now, I kind of have to get school. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but…I’m kind of about to lose credit in math for never showing up.”

“I’ll be waiting to hear that story,” I grinned. “Now go ahead to school.”

He turned and started toward the door.

Right before he exited into the hallway, I called out, “Wait! So Sectionals is in two and a half weeks, right?”

“Yeah,” he answered, facing me again.

“Hopefully I’ll be out by then,” I smiled.

His face fell dramatically. “Evie…I know that you just woke up, and I really shouldn’t be the one who has to tell you this…but there’s no way that you’re going to be able to perform.”

“What do you mean?” I asked slowly, drawing out my words.

“According to what your parents told the school, and Mr. Schue, you’re going to an inpatient program in Columbus until the end of this summer.”