Status: NaNoWriMo 2011!!
Unwritten Pages
Winter At Peace
I don't know why I start crying.
Maybe because it's the wind that's blowing dust in my eyes though I doubt that's an excuse. Maybe it's because I have an allergy to flowers—but I don't.
Desiree says I can make as many excuses as I want to but in the end, I'm crying because I'm finally feeling. I'm finally feeling loss. I'm finally feeling all the horrible feelings that's been hidden almost two months before it finally surfaces.
I'm crying because Winter truly is a great friends. I'm crying because she's gone now. I'm crying because it hurts.
It stings. Like a needle through the heart. Instead of Desiree holding onto me when she cries, it's me holding onto her. I don't feel embarrassed about being so public. I don't feel any of that.
Instead, I'm feeling sorrow. So immense that it threatens to swallow me. I wish that she's still here. I wish that she can still be with us. I wish will all my mind and soul and heart and whatnot. But wishes can't bring her back. She's gone.
But it's her choice. It hadn't been a regretful thing. She chose it.
Winter may be gone now but she hadn't wanted us to dwell on her death and forget the world around us. Even though I would never full recover and there would always be a hole in my heart where Winterlyn Evaline Lawly once shone brightly, it's time to move on. She would tell us right now (if she could) to forget the past but remember the lesson they taught us.
So I take one last look at her gravestone after the hour has past before I turn and I leave.
Winter may be gone, but something in the atmosphere makes me feel better. She may be gone but right now, she's at peace.
I feel a summer breeze ruffle my dark hair, almost like Winter agreeing with me. She's at peace. The storm in her life is erased and gone and Winterlyn Evaline Lawly is finally at peace.
Maybe because it's the wind that's blowing dust in my eyes though I doubt that's an excuse. Maybe it's because I have an allergy to flowers—but I don't.
Desiree says I can make as many excuses as I want to but in the end, I'm crying because I'm finally feeling. I'm finally feeling loss. I'm finally feeling all the horrible feelings that's been hidden almost two months before it finally surfaces.
I'm crying because Winter truly is a great friends. I'm crying because she's gone now. I'm crying because it hurts.
It stings. Like a needle through the heart. Instead of Desiree holding onto me when she cries, it's me holding onto her. I don't feel embarrassed about being so public. I don't feel any of that.
Instead, I'm feeling sorrow. So immense that it threatens to swallow me. I wish that she's still here. I wish that she can still be with us. I wish will all my mind and soul and heart and whatnot. But wishes can't bring her back. She's gone.
But it's her choice. It hadn't been a regretful thing. She chose it.
Winter may be gone now but she hadn't wanted us to dwell on her death and forget the world around us. Even though I would never full recover and there would always be a hole in my heart where Winterlyn Evaline Lawly once shone brightly, it's time to move on. She would tell us right now (if she could) to forget the past but remember the lesson they taught us.
So I take one last look at her gravestone after the hour has past before I turn and I leave.
Winter may be gone, but something in the atmosphere makes me feel better. She may be gone but right now, she's at peace.
I feel a summer breeze ruffle my dark hair, almost like Winter agreeing with me. She's at peace. The storm in her life is erased and gone and Winterlyn Evaline Lawly is finally at peace.