Fences

My mom didn’t speak to me for an entire week, and by then, I had checked out too. I had packed most of my stuff, told my dad I’d be moving with him and starting school in that district. The only thing left to do here was to go to Lily’s funeral.

There weren’t much people there, lots of older folks, and doctors and nurses, at the church. I dressed in a suit, holding a gift for Lily. Mrs. Romero saw me when I entered the church, she waved and walked over, “Hello, Frankie. You look very handsome.”

I smiled, “Thanks, this suit is new…”

She smiled back, “It’s very nice.” She swallowed; her smile faded, but just a little, “Uh…Lily is in there.”

She pointed towards the chapel, and I shook my head, “She’d be making jokes about me procrastinating. She hated when I kept her waiting.”

Mrs. Romero laughed, “Oh, I know!” She patted my shoulder, “Do you want to see her alone?”

I shrugged, “I guess…I have some things to say and give to her, if that’s okay?”

Mrs. Romero nodded, “Of course.”

In the chapel, I saw her pastel colored coffin and cringed, but only slightly. This was the last time I’d see her, and it was eating me away. I slowly walked down the short isle and saw her nose poking up, and finally I jogged up to the coffin. Pink flowers covered the top, and I finally saw her face in over a week. That’s the longest time we’d gone without seeing each other since we met.

This is the last we’d be seeing each other.

Lily looked healthy. She had color to her face, the bags under her eyes were gone, and her lips weren’t sickly white and chapped, they were a plump, pink color, same color has her dress. I hadn’t seen her this way in the longest. She really looked as if she were sleeping. I was half expecting her to sit up and laugh at me, and call me a dingus.

I got my hopes up.

“Hey Lil,” I finally uttered out loud, “I got you something.” I opened my dress suit jacket and grabbed the purple lily I had stashed, “I stole this from Mrs. Violetta’s shop. I know you wanted a bouquet, but I don’t have $45, sorry.” I placed the flower behind her ear, “I hope you like it.”

She didn’t say anything and it broke my heart.

“I brought you something else…it’s kind of hard to part with, y’know.” I had my plaid cardigan draped over my arm and put it beside her in her casket, “Remember what I said…you feel scared, just feel the cardigan and know I’m nearby. You don’t have to be sad.”

I tweaked my lips and stepped back. I took a good look at Lily, etching her in my mind. I always waited to hear a sarcastic remark from her, something like “Did you wash it?”

“I didn’t…I remember you said you liked the weird, guy smell of it.” I laughed lamely.

That’s when I began to tear up. It hit me, again, full force that my best friend was dead. She wasn’t coming back to me. She wasn’t going to rise and tell me something funny to mend my broken heart.

“I’m really going to miss you, Lil. I hope I meet a girl like you, or someone who has a quarter of your humor and honest to God truth. I promise I won’t take her to India, or to the Golden Gate Bridge, unless it’s by accident, in advance, I apologize.”

I imagined her telling me off and waving her hand in the air at me.

“I don’t…know how I’m gonna go on with the rest of my life without you. Like…when school starts, and I have to befriend someone new. Or the possibility that I get bullied, and I can’t come home to you. That thought alone…I can’t wait to join you in the afterlife.”

I took a deep breath, feeling slightly dizzy. My head and my heart hurt.

“Don’t forget about me, okay? I promise to tell the world about you. I’m going to tattoo something funny on me that remind me of you.”

No clever response.

“I think I love you. Like in love and it sucks. I’m really, really, really going to miss you.” I leaned forward and touched her braided hair, “This isn’t a goodbye, because I will definitely see you later, Lil.” I touched her once more before I back away from her coffin and left the chapel.

I wiped my eyes and hurried down the corridors. I didn’t want anyone to see me crying. That’s when I heard Mrs. Romero calling after me. I stopped my rushing and let her catch up, just outside the church doors. She put a hand on my shoulder, her face excited, but tired.

“Um, I almost forgot…this was,” she hurriedly pulled out an envelope, “in her drawer…actually, in the dress she’s wearing. It has your name on it.”

Mrs. Romero handed me a thin envelope and I looked at it, unsure of what to say, “Thanks.”

She nodded, and I began to leave again, but she touched my shoulder once more, causing me to stop and look at her again, “Honey…don’t be a stranger? I’d still love to hear from you from time to time.” She gave me a hopeful smile.

I nodded, “I’ll visit…as long as you make me some sugar cookies.”

She laughed and patted my cheek, “I promise.”