Fences

It was another lonely night in my house, as my mom was out with her friends. I could hear the soft sounds of the suburbs, happily it wasn’t gun shots. I could hear crickets and some cars coming home, not one that belonged to my mom. I laid in my bed with my hands interlaced behind my head, thinking of Lily. I really wanted to see her face to face.

I wondered if she would be okay with me hopping the fence tomorrow…or at all. I didn’t want to freak her out, but I assume she was brave enough to let me see her up close. But, you know, in the back of my head I didn’t want to get to close. I wasn’t being judgmental, it was just…you can’t be too sure with these things. You pound something into a kid’s skull long enough, it sticks.

I could care less that she had AIDS, I just liked her company. I liked that she didn’t say “Hey Faggot” or “How’s it hangin’ Homo?”. She actually called me Frankie and smiled and laughed a little at my attempt to be funny. She’s the first friend I’ve had in the longest time.

The next morning, I set my sights to see her. I was nervous, but I fought through it.

I sat with my mom at the table, she was reading the paper, sipping coffee and I had my cereal. She peered over at me, setting the newspaper down.

“Frank, what do you have planned today?” She eyed me.

“I’m going to see a friend.” I told her nonchalantly. I slurped my milk, causing her to grimace slightly.

“A friend? That sounds nice.”

“Yeah. Been dyin’ to see her.” I mumbled.

“See her? Who is her?” She raised her brow.

“Just a girl.” I didn’t technically lie, did I?

My mom smiled, “Say hello to her for me.”

“Will do.”


I leaned my back against the fence, I sat Lily’s back leaning against it too, so I joined her.

“My mom says hello.” I laughed slightly.

“Really? Or did she tell you to tell your girl pal hello?”

“The last one.” I mumbled.

“It’s okay. I know she’s a church woman, I don’t judge her.”

“So…do you believe everything she says?” I looked sideways towards the fence.

“Uh, no. No, I don’t believe what the church thinks about gays. God made us equally, why would he create a separate group of people to be stoned and ridiculed when his own son gone through it for our sins?”

I raised my brow, “You’re smart.”

“I just read a lot.”

“Do you believe in God?”

“At times…most times, yes, but when I get frustrated and I’m in pain, I wonder…” her voice trailed.

“Wonder what?”

“If he is real.” She answered slowly, “Because…you know, if God was real, why would he make anyone suffer? But then, I remember that if we didn’t have pain, we wouldn’t enjoy pleasure so much. It’s always a toss up in my head.”

“Do you believe in the afterlife?” I spoke quietly, wanting to hear her talk.

“Sometimes…”

We were silent, I knew she was waiting for me to say something else. I felt the need to see her then. I swallowed thickly, executing my plan. I jumped up and ran towards the tree, where I stashed the 15ft ladder that belonged to my dad.

“Frankie?” I heard her call as I jogged back, “What’re you—“

I cut her off, “You sure I can’t get sick through the air?”

“You would’ve been infected already…even if you might, why does that matter?”

I didn’t answer her, I just pushed the ladder against the fence and climbed up. I didn’t think this clearly through as I jumped down, stumbling a bit and meeting eyes with her dirty, light blue converse. Her pale, thin legs, and the hem of her floral skirt…straight out of Saved By The Bell. She had on a black t-shirt that was riding up her belly, and her hair was pinned up and flowing. Her head was tilted to the side as she looked at me, a curious look played on her face.

“Uh, hey.” I said standing.

She looked up straight, meeting my eyes, “Geez, you’re shorter than I imagined…how tall are you?”

I raised my brow, “5’2.”

“I’m 4‘9.”

“You’re a lot shorter than me.” I teased.

She smiled, “By a few inches.”

I was going to respond, but her watch started to beep. I sighed, “Lunch?”

She turned it off, “Lunch. You wanna come in?”

I tweaked my lips, “Do you have any money?”

She nodded, “Yeah, but why?”

“We can get sandwiches from Ralph’s.”

“Ralph’s? The grocery outlet in town?” She looked slightly panicked.

“Yeah. They make great subs.”

She shook her head, “I can’t…my mom doesn’t want me going into town without her.”

“You’ll be with me.” I assured her.

She debated it, “Um...Okay…okay. Let’s go.”

I followed Lily into her house, noting, it looked just like mine, but it seemed more friendly. There were fresh flowers on their kitchen table, from her mom’s garden, and lots of fruit in the bowl on the counter. Her home smelled like a garden, too, it was almost too pretty.

The living room had big comfy-looking sofas, and a nice rug; ours had stains, thanks to me, and then I followed her up the stairs. Down the narrowing halls, there were baby pictures of Lily and pictures of her and her mom. It was sweet, even if anyone rarely saw this place.

Her bedroom door was painted yellow, and her name spelled across it in cursive, in black ink. She turned the knob, the room was flooded with light from plantation shades. I was in awe at this, because it was like something you see in a magazine. Her floor had a nice, psychedelic pattern, she had a poster of Janis Joplin above her desk, that desk was scattered with pens and markers and other drawing essentials. Above her bed, she had a Bride of Frankenstein poster, and a Nirvana poster, and her bed spread was also a psychedelic pattern, but her pillow cases were white. She had a big, wooden bookshelf with hundreds of books…encyclopedias, novels, and medical health books.

I roamed around while she went to her drawer; “Do you read these?” I asked her.

“Sometimes. The medical books are from my doctor…he wants me to be a doctor too.” She said nonchalantly, “I’m ready.” She turned to me.

I looked at her, I saw the wad of ones in her hand, “What the hell? Where did you get all that?”

“Allowance.” She shrugged, “I don’t really buy stuff…my mom likes to spoil me.”

I nodded, “Holy hell, you are one lucky kid.”

“I don’t think so.” She said with a tight smile.


When we walked down the block, and into town, no one bothered to give us a second glance. I wasn’t worried, and to be honest, I didn’t care if people looked. I was hanging out with a girl. A pretty girl who was smarter than me, smarter than a lot of the assholes I went to school with. She wasn’t bothered with trivial stuff, and she let loose with me; I made her laugh and I made her smile. It was nice.

We got to Ralph’s and her watch started to beep again. She gave me a worried glance, she said she didn’t want to embarrass me.

“Embarrass me how? You really should see me in public.” I told her with a laugh.

“No. No, do not get us anyone eye contact. I’m just fine in our little bubble.” She smiled shyly at me.

“Fine, Lil, follow me to the deli.” It was an impulse that I think scared her.

I took hold of her hand.

She recoiled back, almost as if my hand was a burning stove top. She sighed, looking down, ashamed, “I’m sorry…I never held anyones, but my mom’s, hand before.”

“Me either.” I laughed.

“You aren’t worried about it?” She asked.

“What?”

She furrowed her brows, “You know.”

It took me a second, but then I remembered, “Oh. Oh no! No, I’m not…no, I forgot. Sorry…do you not want me to touch you or something?”

She smiled genuinely and happily, “No, it’s just…no one ever forgets about my illness. You touching my hand…that’s a first for me.”

“It was an impulse.”

“Well…it was a nice impulse, Frankie.”

I blushed heavily, “Uh…um…let’s go get those subs.” I took her hand again, seeing a slight smirk, before we took off towards the deli.

It felt nice to hold a girl’s hand, even if she was afraid. It was a first for the both of us, and we both seemed to like it.

As we ate in the deli, a few people kept glancing at us. A few whispered…and they weren’t discrete or nice. I saw Lily’s head hang as an older woman passed by her and said some rude comment about us being sexually active. It made my chest heave and I felt horrible.

“Don’t listen to them.” I told her.

“Easy for you to say,” she looked up at me, her eyes darkened, but it wasn’t a glare, “has anyone called you a walking abomination?”

I shook my head, feeling her hurt, “Has anyone called you a fag?”

“No. Lesbo and Homo.” She told me.

Me and Lily were alike in many ways.

“Has anyone called you a homo?”

I nodded, “Nearly everyday for the past two years.”

She seemed to calm down and ease, “I should get home…I have to take my nap.”

I nodded, “Alright, let’s go.”

Again, I took Lily’s hand, and the whispers grew. I wasn’t embarrassed, but the nervousness of my mom finding out, hit me. She knew all these people, and I was sure that I was gonna get it once she heard about this.

Though, I never let my nervousness show with Lily. We talked lowly as we headed home, the walk was baring, and I could see she was growing tired. I looked down at her, “You tired?”

“Just a bit. I can handle it.”

I shook my head, she was swaggering a little, “Come on, get on my back.”

We stopped and she looked at me, “Excuse me?”

“Get on my back, I’ll give you a piggy back ride.”

She giggled, “Are you sure?” she pushed her glasses up her nose.

“Yes! Now, come on before I change my mind.”

She laughed again, hopping onto my back and wrapping her arms around my neck. I felt all fuzzy inside when she pressed her head to my shoulder, “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

We kept walking towards our suburb, but, I stopped when I saw Tommy, Gary, and that big bulky guy, Ray Toro. We were screwed.