Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

-- Jordan's POV --

“All right Becka, I’ve gotta go. Yes… yeah. All right, love you too,” Cam said, a grin on his face as he rolled his eyes. His ‘quick’ phone conversation with Becka had lasted twenty minutes now, and while he’d made several attempts to cut it short Becka obviously had other ideas.

“Sorry about that,” I shrugged, glad he’d at least had the sense to phone her a half-an-hour before we had to leave, so we weren’t running late or anything. That was something else I couldn’t figure out; he just didn’t think like most guys did. Had that been me I would’ve called like five minutes before we had to go and then been late, but Cam always thought everything through to a T.

“No problem; we’re still ten minutes early,” I shrugged, and sat down on my bed, content to wait a few more minutes before going downstairs. There had been girls waiting in the lobby since yesterday, all hoping to get a glance or the opportunity to jump into a bed. Some of the guys had teased me that that’s what I needed to get Torrie off my mind, but I knew that wouldn’t do it.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure anything would anymore.

I was starting to scare myself; I’d always been a red-blooded kind of guy; taking it slow wasn’t my strong point and that was okay with me. My parents had gotten used to the fact that when Torrie and I had been apart there were other girls, and sometimes lots of them. Not this time, however.

There hadn’t been a single one, and I was too afraid to even admit to myself the reason why.

And then there was Cam. He had been there for me since he’d moved to Pittsburgh; he was the best friend I’d ever had. I could tell him about anything, and he was always more than willing to do whatever it took to help me out. I stole a glance at my small teammate, as he stared at the ceiling, his brow pulled together a little bit, obviously thinking about something. That was also something he’d been doing a lot of lately. I was sure it was trouble with him and Becka, but he’d been pulling back, becoming more introverted the past few weeks, and none of us knew what to do about it. Steve was worried about him, and while the rest of us were concerned, it didn’t seem like the thing to just come out and ask him about. And whenever we saw him with Becka they seemed the same as ever. Not that that meant anything, but I was just confused. I wanted to help him the way he’d been helping me even since before Torrie and I had broken up, but I just didn’t know how to. I’d never been a ‘just talk about it’ kind of guy, and neither were my brothers.

“You all right?” I asked, and he jumped a little, startled out of his thoughts.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. We should probably head out now,” he said, sitting up slowly.

“Yeah, probably,” I agreed, not knowing what else to say and seeing that the ten minutes we were ahead by had disappeared. As we walked down the hall and rode the elevator down to the lobby we were silent, and I wished I knew what to say to break that. I didn’t like the way he seemed to be troubled all the time, like something huge was weighing down on him, but I was afraid to ask, just in case it was something I didn’t know how to handle after having brought it up.

“There you guys are; we’re all ready to go, even Geno,” TK teased, and I shrugged.

“Sorry guys; Becka didn’t want to get off of the phone,” Cam shrugged, making a few of the married guys nod wisely.

“I know how that feels,” Pascal agreed, “Especially when all of the kids want to talk too.”

“I can’t imagine,” he chuckled, and seemed to be back to himself, but I knew as soon as we were on the bus he’d sit staring out the window, not saying another word. I let out a sigh, following everybody to the bus and getting on.
Just as I’d suspected Cam turned silent as soon as he was in his seat, and I left him alone, still stewing over what to do about it. I knew he wouldn’t want to go out after his birthday, and it wouldn’t help for the guys to push it. I saw Marc sitting by himself, and quickly walked over to steal the seat.
“Hey, you know how Cam doesn’t wanna try going out?” I asked, and he nodded.
“Oui, why?”
“What if we just get a meeting room at the hotel or something and have a get together there?” I suggested, and Marc nodded.
“’E will like that, oui. That is a good idea, ‘e doesn’t want to go out, Cam is more low-key,” he agreed, and I grinned.
“Wanna spread the word a bit? I’ll take care of it all, just let the guys know and to keep it a secret from him. I think he needs some cheering up,”
“That is true; ‘e is very quiet lately, non?” Marc asked, and I nodded, sparing our teammate a glance.
“Yeah, and I don’t know why,” I admitted.
“’E will come around, ‘e isn’t the kind to bottle it up,” Marc decided, making me feel a little bit better. It was true, Cam was a fairly outward guy when it came to that sort of thing; he talked about how he was feeling and it didn’t bother him. He’d ask for someone to listen when he was ready. At least that’s what I was going to tell myself so I didn’t have a shitty game tonight.

At the arena I spent my time acting like a goof, keeping a smile on Cam’s face as we warmed up, and by the time Dan came in to give us a pep-talk and give us the lines for tonight Cam seemed to be in full on hockey-mode. A grin was on his face and he was almost trembling with excitement as per his usual. He got so pumped up for games it was amazing.

“I want to try something a little bit different tonight; Bates, Staal, I want you on the starting line with Sid. We’re just going to do it for a shift or two and see how it plays out, and Neal I’m going to put you in for center, then we’ll go back to normal. All right, now let’s get out there!” we all let out a cheer before moving to the tunnel, the energy pulsing as we waited to get out onto the ice for warm ups. We all ran out to the ice and went into warm ups, and then contrary to the usual Cam and I were on the ice for the national anthem.

“Ready to kick some ass?” Sid asked us as we put our helmets back on.

“Yeah,”

“You bet,” I nodded, and made my way to my new position on Sid’s left. The first minute was fast-paced, everybody playing hard, until we settled in and began to read the game. Cam was doing an amazing job of reading the play, making a few interceptions, even if we couldn’t really use them or capitalize them it was unsettling the Isles.

“Watch Tavares,” Sid cautioned, and before I could even move to help Cam was nailed into the boards by him, and we watched in horror as Cam crumpled to the ice, and didn’t move to get up. I looked to Sid, who nodded, knowing I was going to go and make sure he was okay rather than follow the play, which he was doing.

“Cam? Cam are you all right bud?” I asked, and didn’t get a response. I knew better than to try and roll him onto his back from his side, but still wanted to do something.

Finally the ref blew the whistle, and Sid skated over.

“Cam! Bates! Cam!” he waved at the bench, and I knew that soon the medic would be over here.