Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

Going to the gym was just as therapeutic as spending the night at Sullivan’s was; it let me get all of my anger and confusion out until I was too exhausted to think about it anymore. I was shaking slightly, my muscles pushed beyond their limits, and I was unable to think of anything but getting some Gatorade and taking a nap.

“Wow, you were really into this today,” Steve commented, ruffling my hair.

“Yeah, I really needed this today; it helps get my mind off of things,” I nodded, seeing him smile and shake his head a little bit.

“You still need to talk to him kiddo. As much as I don’t want to say it – no offense to Jordan - I’d rather see you happy with him than like this,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we walked back towards the player’s lounge and the locker room.

“Thanks Steve. I know you guys aren’t that thrilled about him,”

“It’s not him; he’s a good kid. He just… he’s a little too rambunctious and rowdy and out there, you know? He just hasn’t quite grown up yet, and I just want to see you happy with somebody who’s going to be there for you no matter what. I’m just not sure that Jordan wouldn’t balk and turn tail, you know? Whereas someone like Sid, say, is a little more steadfast and he’d stand behind you no matter what,” he explained, and I nodded. Jordan wasn’t exactly known for his long-term relationships, or for that matter relationships of any kind. Torrie had been a bit of an exception, but they’d been on-again-off-again and there’d been a lot of commitment issues there. Sid wasn’t either, but that was because he wanted to be sure he could commit to a girl one hundred percent so that he was doing right by her. Sid was any dad’s dream guy, whereas Jordan was the one your dad brought the gun out of the cabinet for when he was coming around.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. But Jordan gives his all to something he’s passionate about, maybe it’s just that it’s never been the right one? Who knows,” I said, feeling self-conscious talking about this now. I just hoped like hell that Steve wouldn’t have to say ‘I told you so’ if we ever got this cleared up.

“That’s true. Well kiddo, for your sake I hope you’re right; I just want to see you happy and I really don’t want to see you get hurt,” he sighed.

“Thanks Steve,” I pulled him into a hug, catching him off guard a little bit. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and hugged me back. We stood there for a moment, before he walked into the locker room to shower while I sat down on the floor in the player’s lounge to keep stretching. Once Steve was out of the locker room, fully dressed and his bag packed, I went in, doing my best to hurry. It only took me about ten minutes to shower, get dressed and meet him outside. The ride back to my apartment was fairly quiet, as I tried not to doze off in the front set of Steve’s car.

“All right; see you tomorrow kiddo,” he said, ruffling my hair once before I said goodbye and hauled myself up the stairs to my apartment. I flopped onto the couch, letting out a large yawn. I was basically asleep, when I heard Becka let herself into the apartment. She said hello, which I mumbled back in response before going to sleep.