Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

“Cam, wake up,” I groaned, burying my head against my pillow, and moments later realized my pillow was still Jordan’s chest. I cracked open an eye, looking up to see a lopsided grin on his lips, his eyes a soft blue as he gently pushed some hair off of my face.

“Do I have to? I’m quite comfortable right here,” he chuckled, the sound rough and coming from deep in his throat as he ran a hand through my hair. I sighed, feeling completely relaxed, something that hadn’t happened in a while.

“I know, I don’t want to get up either, but we should eat something and get ready for the game tonight,” he reminded me.

“It’s not the game tonight that I’m worried about,” I admitted, resting my head on his chest so I could avoid looking into his eyes. I hated feeling weak around anyone, and I especially hated feeling weak around him.

“What are you worried about then?” he asked, tilting my chin with two fingers so I had to face him. Again a blush ran to my cheeks, and it was all I could do to mumble out a reply and keep my eyes fixed on his.

“Philly,”

“Don’t be; you’re gonna play; I know Dan was a little iffy about playing you tonight, but he’ll be fine with putting you back to full ice time by then,” he assured me.

“So I can get my ass handed to me by Max again?” I rolled my eyes, but instead of making a joke he stiffened.

“If he so much as puts a hand on you I’ll fucking kill him,” he growled, taking me by surprise.

“Jordan, you can’t say that, it’s still hockey—”

“No, if he touches you I’ll tear him apart,” he insisted, and his hand moved to my hip, over the long scar I now sported.

“Jordy,” he cut me off with a kiss, my argument dying in my throat.

“Cam, we’re together, I want to protect you from anything I can. If that means destroying him so that he’s scared to go near you that’s what I’ll do,”

“You’re a big old sap, did you know that?” I asked, making him smile as I held myself up on my elbows overtop of him. It was sweet that he wanted to protect me, but at the same time that nagging little voice in the back of my mind was telling me that it wasn’t good, that I didn’t need him or anybody else to take care of me and shouldn’t let him. I stifled those thoughts though, trying to just enjoy being here with him.

“But you love it,” he retorted, making me laugh before kissing him, letting my hand rest on his chest.

“That I do,” I agreed, making him smile even wider and stretch his neck forward to meet my lips. We laid there for a few minutes in each others arms and kissing. Things would be different at the rink, around our friends. We couldn’t show anything like this in front of them, because to them I was still a guy, and as much as it would kill Jordan I would have to be a guy to them for another couple of months. At least until I was sure I was important enough to this team to not be given the boot for being a girl.