Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

Jared's P.O.V.

“Look, Eric, I can explain,” he started, but Eric shook his head. He was more of the traditionalist out of the four of us, and more than that was the most religious of us too. I couldn’t begin to imagine how blown his mind was right now.

“You better – what the hell is going on here?” he asked, and Cam ran a hand through her hair.

“Eric, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I—” Cam started, but Jordan cut her off immediately.

“Cam and I are together,” he blurted, and my brother’s face paled as he registered what Jordan had just said.

“What?” his voice was quiet now, and I face palmed, wishing I’d been smart enough to keep my oldest brother away from the situation. I had a feeling Cam was going to tell Eric the truth, especially from the way that she looked at Jordan in shock. I would’ve thought Jordan would have told him the truth too, but it spoke wonders to how much he cared about her that he would rather let our brother think he was gay than out her secret to someone in the league and ruin her chances of a career in the NHL.

“Cam and I are together,” Jordan repeated quietly, and put his arm around her shoulders. Cam’s face was bright red, and she couldn’t meet Eric’s eyes. The fact that Jordan would let our brother come to the obvious conclusion was a huge surprise for me. For the most part Jordan had the same kind of ideas about those sort of things as Eric did, and to let someone whose respect and opinion he valued so much believe that about him wasn’t a normal thing he would do.

Eric floundered for something to say, before turning on his heel and leaving the room. I stood there, unsure of what to do, and saw Cam wrap her arms around Jordan, nearly in tears.

“I could’ve just told him Jordan,” she whispered, and he shook his head.

“You wanted to wait until the end of the season Cam; it’s okay, he’ll get over it,” he insisted, but still she was upset.

“Jordan, I don’t want to be a problem—” again my brother cut her off, but this time with a soft kiss. I felt awkward then, like I was seeing something I shouldn’t.

“It’s okay Cam. Like I said, he’ll get over it, and he’ll understand when we do tell him,” he softly repeated, and she nodded slowly, still looking rather upset.

“I’m so sorry guys – I tried to…” they both shook their heads as they got up. Jordan mussed up my hair, and Cam gave me a quick hug, which I returned tightly. When we walked out to the kitchen the air was thick with tension, and my stomach felt uneasy.

“Did you not…?” Tanya asked, and Jordan shook his head. She gave Cam one long look before pulling her in for a hug. I hardly caught their whispers, but Cam told Tanya that Jordan had cut her off from telling Eric, and Tanya told her that it would be okay. Cam was obviously shook up and upset by this turn of events, and neither Tanya or I knew what to say to comfort her.

“Look, Eric, can’t we just talk about this?” Jordan asked, but Eric shook his head.

“There’s nothing to talk about Jordan,”

“Bullshit! Eric don’t do this,” Jordan started towards Eric, who stood up.

“Don’t even start with me Jordan!” He growled, and I knew this would lead to a fighting match.

“Why? What’s so wrong about you being happy for me or supportive of me?” Jordan demanded, and I saw the vein in Eric’s temple, which meant he was getting really angry.

“Oh I wonder what’s so wrong about me not being elated that my brother’s GAY!” Eric hissed, and while I could see the hurt on Jordan’s face it had nothing on the look on Cam’s. She was nearly in tears, and Tanya had her arms around the brunette, trying to comfort her.

“Eric,” Tanya started, but the look he gave her cut her off. I’d expected he’d flip out, but nothing like this.

“Not you too,”

“I just don’t see the big…”

“The big problem? The big problem is my brother likes men. So what, your whole life you’ve just been lying your ass off to us? Is that it?”

“No, I didn’t know until…” Jordan looked towards Cam, distress on his face at seeing the shape she was in.

“Until Cam. And I never would have guessed you’d be…”

“I didn’t know either….” She whispered, her eyes shut tight as she forced the lie past clenched teeth.

“Eric, let’s just talk about this,” Jordan insisted again, and Eric’s brown eyes flashed.

“There’s nothing to talk about Jordan,” was his curt reply, and moments later Parker woke up, undoubtedly from the loud argument.

“Daddy?” he shot up and off of the couch into Eric’s arms, which distracted him for a few minutes. Parker chattered away about all the animals at the zoo and making cookies and everything else, and how excited he was for the game tonight. Eric put on a very happy face for his son, and when Parker showed him his Gronk, and Eric laughed, looking like nothing had happened. But as soon as Parker ran back to Jordan and when Jordan picked him up and swung him around Eric’s expression darkened again.

“Well, we want to take Parker out for dinner, if that’s all right,” Eric said, struggling to keep his voice even.

“Yeah, of course,” Cam and Jordan both said, and Tanya looked a little upset. I guessed that all of us were going to go out for dinner, but Eric didn’t feel that was such a good idea anymore.

“Thanks, we’ll come see you two after the game as well,” Tanya piped up, and they both nodded. She turned to me then, and I nodded, knowing what she was going to ask.

“Do you want to come with us Jared?”

“Sure, sounds good to me,” I nodded, and Jordan gave me a short nod. He’d need to calm Cam down enough to have a decent game tonight.

I said goodbye to my brother and Cam, before following Eric and Tanya’s family down to the vehicle they had rented. I helped them move the second car seat from Jordan’s Escalade to their rented vehicle and we headed towards a Dairy Queen because Parker wanted to eat there.

“Eric he isn’t any different than he was a month ago,” I quietly told him as we walked towards the front door. Eric bristled at my comment, and refused to look at me.

“He’s still your brother Eric, you have to talk to him and let him explain,” I pushed, and Eric stopped in his tracks.

“Jared, just back off. It’s great that you’re all for his… whatever it is with Cam. Sorry that I can’t accept that, sorry I’m not perfect. I don’t know how I feel about it right now and I am certainly not comfortable with it right now,” he told me, before opening the door and following Tanya and the kids inside. I sighed, before following him.

Dinner was fairly quiet, as Eric wasn’t really speaking to me, and focused his attention on his sons. The ride to the game was similar, and Tanya sent me an apologetic glance through the rearview mirror. I nodded, because I understood. It was a lot to digest, and I understood that, but he was still being a little ridiculous about it.

As soon as the game started I could see that Cam and Jordan were going to have an off night. They weren’t skating sharply, their passes were a little sloppy, and neither of them seemed to have their heads in the game. They’d been matched up against Kesler’s line, and he was more than skating circles around them.

“Come on you guys,” I muttered under my breath, watching as they seemed to lose steam steadily, and were completely lagging behind by the middle of the second period. Tanya was even a little anxious watching the game, and Parker was just devastated to see that the Penguins were down 3-0.

“Can we go down to the locker room?” I asked, and I could tell Eric was about to say no when Tanya cut in and told me yes. I got up, and felt Parker tug on my pant-leg, so I picked him up to bring him with me. I flashed the security guard my pass – not that I needed to, because everybody knew I was Jordan’s brother – and then waited outside the locker room while Dan spoke to the team.

“Hey,” I gave Jordan a half-smile as I walked in, and Parker squirmed immediately to be put down, before running over to him to give him a hug.

“Unca Jordy, why no goal?” he asked, making a few of the guys laugh.

“Just having an off day I guess,” he replied, trying to keep his voice light for Parker. Cam was sitting quietly at her stall, staring at the floor. I walked over and put my hand on her shoulder, before noticing that most of her team was giving her worried glances.

“Hey Cam, it’ll be all right,” I whispered, and she shook her head.

“No it’s not. I don’t want to be the reason he and Eric are fighting,” she whispered, and I swallowed as I tried to find something to say to her.

“Eric’s just having trouble wrapping his head around it, he’ll come around,” I insisted, and she let out a wry laugh.

“Sure, and in the meantime he and Jordan aren’t speaking and it’ll kill him,” she said, and I was at a loss for words. Thankfully right then Parker came over to give her a hug, which brought a small, weary smile to her face.

“Need wuck?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Yeah, just a little,” she sighed, and Parker hugged her tighter, burying his face against her neck.

“Pwease win?” he asked, and she rubbed his back for a moment.

“I’ll try Park,” she told him, and then we heard that there was only a few minutes until the third period was starting.

“See you guys after the game, all right? Good luck,” I said to them, and they both nodded as I picked up Parker and we headed back to our seats, to watch the Penguins fall to the Canucks 6-1.