Bury Me Alive
Chapter 4
x Mesly’s p.o.v. x
I stared up at the ceiling thinking about what had just happened.
Andy was lying asleep next to me, covered in the sheets.
Why did I just let him do that?
I sighed and slowly got up.
Then I quickly put on my clothes and looked at Andy one more time before I left.
While I was walking home I looked down at my feet that were slowly moving forward.
I didn’t want to go home, but I also didn’t want to wait and see Andy’s face when he woke up either.
So I took in a deep breath and knocked on my door, but then I realized that my dad’s truck was in the drive way…
Oh my god!
Before I could turn on my heels and run the other way he opened the door looking more pissed off then I’d ever seen him in my entire life.
“Where have you been?!” He yelled
“Dad I-“ I said
I didn’t even finish my sentence before he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me inside to face my death.
***
“Daddy hit her harder, come on!” Charisma’s voice echoed in my head
“Joe she deserves to be punished, don’t stop.” My mom’s voice
“How could you dare to do something like that to your mother?” My dad yelled
I laid there on my floor beaten half to death with dry tears on my face.
I guess that’s what I deserved to get after what I did with Andy.
So I just let my dad’s belt get the best of me and paid extra attention to all the criticism and remarks that they all yelled at me get to me.
I hated my family to death, but it was good that they kept reminding me why I hate myself so much.
For a while I just let myself think about what happened in the last 12 hours and just stared at the blank and empty wall.
I laughed at how much I hated myself.
Maybe this was a sign for me to kill myself or something, because all I bring to this world is a burden.
I got myself off the floor and ignored all the pain that was shooting up and down my body and walked over to my mirror that was on the opposite side of my bed.
Then I brought my hand up to the glass and hit it as hard as I could a few times.
Slowly I got down to my knees and picked up the pieces and brought the glass down, hard, onto my wrists and started slicing it up like it was nothing.
I let the blood spill all over my floor because I didn’t really care about anything else right now.
After a few seconds of doing that I stopped and admired my work of art, but as soon as I did my little sister Noelle came in and started screaming.
“Mesly what are you doing?!” Noelle yelled
“Like you care!” I said
“I do care about you, you idiot! Why would you want to kill yourself?” She asked
“I want to die okay, now go away and let me finish what I started.” I said
“No, I’m not going to let you, now put the glass down.” She said
“Make me.” I spat
She then came over to me and grabbed the glass out of my hand and pulled me over to my bed.
“Please don’t ever try to do that again, I love you too much, and you’re my only favorite sister.” She begged
Right when she said that I realized what I had just done and I started crying.
She held me in her arms and rubbed my shoulders.
“It’s okay big sis… let it out.” She said
***
I opened my eyes and looked around.
What the heck?
This isn’t my room.
I jumped up and looked down at my arms.
They were all bandaged up and I was wearing a different shirt.
Then I felt someone grab onto me and I screamed and started thrashing against them.
“Mesly stop, stop!” He said
I didn’t stop; I wanted whoever it was to get off of me.
“No, please get off; I didn’t do anything I swear please!” I pled
Whoever it was grabbed my face and held it still.
“Andy?” I asked
He nodded, and I noticed that his eyes were swollen red.
“What are you doing here, where am I?” I asked
“We’re at my friend’s house since my house isn’t safe right now.” He said
It took me a minute to process this…
“No… where’s Noelle?” I asked frantically
Andy grabbed my face again.
“Calm down, she’s back at your house. She’s the one that called me… thank goodness she did, otherwise I would have gone crazy. Speaking of which what the hell were you thinking?” Andy asked
My eyes got all blurry and I started crying again.
“I don’t know… was that real?” I asked
“Look down at your arms and tell me it’s not.” He said
I did and then I regretted it.
Andy then sat on the bed next to me and put his arms around me.
“Mesly, please don’t ever do that again… I love you, and I never want to lose you because you’re my best friend. I’m sorry that I had sex with you, I would take it back I swear, but you didn’t have to go and hurt yourself because of my mistake.” Andy said
“You’re mistake?” I asked softly
“Yes, I’m the one who pressured you, and I’m sorry.” Andy said
“No… it was my fault … I let you.” I said
“I’m so sorry Mesly.” He said
“It’s okay Andy, people make mistakes all the time.” I said
“Please promise me that you won’t ever hurt yourself again?” Andy asked
I stayed quiet.
“Mesly, swear to me please that you won’t ever try to, please.” He said
I couldn’t promise him that… I hated myself too much because of what I’d done.
Andy grabbed my face and forced me to look at him.
“I’m being serious, swear on it.” Andy said
“Okay I swear that I won’t ever hurt myself again.” I said
He let go of me and then wrapped his arms around me again.
“Alright, I trust you… now do you want to rest some more or do you want to go relax with me down stairs?” Andy asked
“I’m not tired anymore.” I said
“Okay, let me help you up.” He said
“Is it that bad?” I asked
Andy hesitated and looked away from me.
“Andy…” I said
“Yes… Mes… you’re a mess.” He said
I looked down and lifted my shirt up to reveal my stomach that was covered in blue and purple.
I gasped.
“Oh my goodness!” I said
Andy bit his lip and looked like he was about to cry.
“It’s okay Mes; don’t try to think about it… it’ll heal.” Andy said
I nodded, but couldn’t stop looking at it, until Andy pulled my shirt down and scooped me up into his arms.
“Andy… why are you doing this?” I asked
“Because I love you, and you’re my best friend that I never ever want to lose.” Andy said
“I don’t deserve this… but thanks.” I said
He smiled.
“You’re welcome; now let’s go play some video games?” He asked
I rolled my eyes.
“I thought you didn’t like them?” I asked
“Well… just one game…” Andy said
I laughed.
“Okay then… let’s go.” I said
***
I stared up at the ceiling thinking about what had just happened.
Andy was lying asleep next to me, covered in the sheets.
Why did I just let him do that?
I sighed and slowly got up.
Then I quickly put on my clothes and looked at Andy one more time before I left.
While I was walking home I looked down at my feet that were slowly moving forward.
I didn’t want to go home, but I also didn’t want to wait and see Andy’s face when he woke up either.
So I took in a deep breath and knocked on my door, but then I realized that my dad’s truck was in the drive way…
Oh my god!
Before I could turn on my heels and run the other way he opened the door looking more pissed off then I’d ever seen him in my entire life.
“Where have you been?!” He yelled
“Dad I-“ I said
I didn’t even finish my sentence before he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me inside to face my death.
***
“Daddy hit her harder, come on!” Charisma’s voice echoed in my head
“Joe she deserves to be punished, don’t stop.” My mom’s voice
“How could you dare to do something like that to your mother?” My dad yelled
I laid there on my floor beaten half to death with dry tears on my face.
I guess that’s what I deserved to get after what I did with Andy.
So I just let my dad’s belt get the best of me and paid extra attention to all the criticism and remarks that they all yelled at me get to me.
I hated my family to death, but it was good that they kept reminding me why I hate myself so much.
For a while I just let myself think about what happened in the last 12 hours and just stared at the blank and empty wall.
I laughed at how much I hated myself.
Maybe this was a sign for me to kill myself or something, because all I bring to this world is a burden.
I got myself off the floor and ignored all the pain that was shooting up and down my body and walked over to my mirror that was on the opposite side of my bed.
Then I brought my hand up to the glass and hit it as hard as I could a few times.
Slowly I got down to my knees and picked up the pieces and brought the glass down, hard, onto my wrists and started slicing it up like it was nothing.
I let the blood spill all over my floor because I didn’t really care about anything else right now.
After a few seconds of doing that I stopped and admired my work of art, but as soon as I did my little sister Noelle came in and started screaming.
“Mesly what are you doing?!” Noelle yelled
“Like you care!” I said
“I do care about you, you idiot! Why would you want to kill yourself?” She asked
“I want to die okay, now go away and let me finish what I started.” I said
“No, I’m not going to let you, now put the glass down.” She said
“Make me.” I spat
She then came over to me and grabbed the glass out of my hand and pulled me over to my bed.
“Please don’t ever try to do that again, I love you too much, and you’re my only favorite sister.” She begged
Right when she said that I realized what I had just done and I started crying.
She held me in her arms and rubbed my shoulders.
“It’s okay big sis… let it out.” She said
***
I opened my eyes and looked around.
What the heck?
This isn’t my room.
I jumped up and looked down at my arms.
They were all bandaged up and I was wearing a different shirt.
Then I felt someone grab onto me and I screamed and started thrashing against them.
“Mesly stop, stop!” He said
I didn’t stop; I wanted whoever it was to get off of me.
“No, please get off; I didn’t do anything I swear please!” I pled
Whoever it was grabbed my face and held it still.
“Andy?” I asked
He nodded, and I noticed that his eyes were swollen red.
“What are you doing here, where am I?” I asked
“We’re at my friend’s house since my house isn’t safe right now.” He said
It took me a minute to process this…
“No… where’s Noelle?” I asked frantically
Andy grabbed my face again.
“Calm down, she’s back at your house. She’s the one that called me… thank goodness she did, otherwise I would have gone crazy. Speaking of which what the hell were you thinking?” Andy asked
My eyes got all blurry and I started crying again.
“I don’t know… was that real?” I asked
“Look down at your arms and tell me it’s not.” He said
I did and then I regretted it.
Andy then sat on the bed next to me and put his arms around me.
“Mesly, please don’t ever do that again… I love you, and I never want to lose you because you’re my best friend. I’m sorry that I had sex with you, I would take it back I swear, but you didn’t have to go and hurt yourself because of my mistake.” Andy said
“You’re mistake?” I asked softly
“Yes, I’m the one who pressured you, and I’m sorry.” Andy said
“No… it was my fault … I let you.” I said
“I’m so sorry Mesly.” He said
“It’s okay Andy, people make mistakes all the time.” I said
“Please promise me that you won’t ever hurt yourself again?” Andy asked
I stayed quiet.
“Mesly, swear to me please that you won’t ever try to, please.” He said
I couldn’t promise him that… I hated myself too much because of what I’d done.
Andy grabbed my face and forced me to look at him.
“I’m being serious, swear on it.” Andy said
“Okay I swear that I won’t ever hurt myself again.” I said
He let go of me and then wrapped his arms around me again.
“Alright, I trust you… now do you want to rest some more or do you want to go relax with me down stairs?” Andy asked
“I’m not tired anymore.” I said
“Okay, let me help you up.” He said
“Is it that bad?” I asked
Andy hesitated and looked away from me.
“Andy…” I said
“Yes… Mes… you’re a mess.” He said
I looked down and lifted my shirt up to reveal my stomach that was covered in blue and purple.
I gasped.
“Oh my goodness!” I said
Andy bit his lip and looked like he was about to cry.
“It’s okay Mes; don’t try to think about it… it’ll heal.” Andy said
I nodded, but couldn’t stop looking at it, until Andy pulled my shirt down and scooped me up into his arms.
“Andy… why are you doing this?” I asked
“Because I love you, and you’re my best friend that I never ever want to lose.” Andy said
“I don’t deserve this… but thanks.” I said
He smiled.
“You’re welcome; now let’s go play some video games?” He asked
I rolled my eyes.
“I thought you didn’t like them?” I asked
“Well… just one game…” Andy said
I laughed.
“Okay then… let’s go.” I said
***