I'll Never Be the Same

When our relationship hit the one month mark, I couldn’t help but smile at how shocked everyone at school seemed to be. Maybe if they actually knew Darren, they wouldn’t be so surprised that we had lasted this long. Though, there was a rumor going around that the reason we were still together was because I didn’t put out.

I mean, sure we hadn’t had sex, but I knew that wasn’t the reason. Besides, we did plenty of other things behind closed doors and living room couches and cars. I blushed thinking about it. Truth is, I really wanted to have sex with Darren. I had lost my virginity to an old boyfriend I had thought was serious about being with me, but of course once he got what he wanted he didn’t want me anymore. I hadn’t had any desire to be with anyone else that intimately… but then there was Darren.

Of course, I couldn’t help but worry. My one experience with sex didn’t exactly come with happy memories. It had been awkward and clumsy and then there’s the whole I got my heart broken three days after that. I hated to admit it, but I did have some doubts about Darren. But I tried my best to ignore them.

Becca had started to constantly ask me whether or not Darren and I had slept together yet, and for the first time since we had become friends, I found myself trying to avoid her as much as possible. If I couldn’t avoid her, I made sure Darren was with me just so she wouldn’t ask.

---

A groan escaped my mouth as I felt Darren’s warm hands move under my shirt, moving upward on my sides. I shivered slightly, burying one hand in Darren’s hair as he pressed his body more firmly against me.

We were currently in his room, on his bed, enjoying the fact that his mom wasn’t home and that she’d be working late. These were my favorite days because for some reason that woman absolutely loathed me. I had a feeling it had something to do with the way I was dressed the first time I met her.

Quickly, I flipped us over on Darren’s bed so that I was on top and I ground my hips against his and smiled as Darren gasped into my mouth. His hands tugged on my shirt and I allowed him to remove it. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. We’d always make out for a while, undressing to our underwear, but there was always something to stop us from going further. We always set an alarm to warn us of when it was getting close to either of our parents coming home, depending where we were.

But as both of our pants came off as well as Darren’s shirt, I snuck a glance at the clock as Darren’s mouth attached to my throat and saw that we still had about two hours till his mother came home. I felt Darren’s hands roaming my back until they stopped at the clasp on the back of my bra. He pulled away and then looked at me, and I knew he was questioning if this was okay, because we hadn’t seen each other fully naked yet, and I loved that he actually cared enough to make sure things weren’t moving too fast. I nodded my head and with a swift tug and twisting motion, I felt my bra unclasp and fall off my shoulders.

As soon as the bra hit the floor, Darren had flipped us over again and his lips resumed their attack on my neck, moving down until his mouth was on one of my breasts, the other receiving attention from his hand. I let out a contented sigh and shut my eyes, enjoying this feeling. I felt Darren moving back up a few minutes later and his lips were again on mine, tongue flicking past my parted lips. He pulled away after a moment and looked at the clock.

“Well,” he said. “If we want to do this, and by this I mean have sex, we have time.”

I let out a laugh.

“What?” he asked.

“Just the way you said that,” I said, running a hand through his hair.

“I figured I’d ask, just because we’ve never had time to get this far before,” he said, smiling at me before leaning down to kiss me again, softly this time. “So what do you want to do?”

I took in a deep breath, thinking.

“I want to have sex,” I said, my eyes meeting his. “It’s just… I worry a bit. The last time I had sex, I got dumped three days later.”

Darren’s hand moved up to cup my face.

“I won’t do that to you,” he said. “I promise.”

I smiled at him.

“Well, in that case,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I knew if anyone else were to hear this conversation, they would wonder how I could believe him so easily, but like I’ve said before: they don’t know Darren like I did and I knew I could trust him.

Darren pressed his hips closer to mine and I could feel his erection straining against the fabric of his boxers. I reached down, pulling on the waistband of them and he helped in their removal before removing my own underwear.

As I felt his erection now against my inner thigh, my hips bucked up against him. It was crazy how much I wanted this when at the beginning of the year I had made it clear that I would never end up in this situation. But here I was.

“Just a minute,” Darren gasped, pulling away from me and reaching to his bedside table and opening the drawer to get a condom. “Safety first.”

Once the condom was in place, Darren wasted no time moving between my legs and slowly entering me. I sighed, enjoying the way he filled me. Once he started moving, though, that was where the real enjoyment started.

When we were done, our breathing heavy, Darren stayed on top of me for a few minutes, his breath hitting my neck as he placed gentle kisses there every few seconds. I was glad that I had gotten to actually know Darren. Because that was honestly the best sex I’d ever had.