A Puck Between Us

I sat there in silence. I felt stupid. How could I have just admitted everything to the boy who just left? Hell, I’ll be damned if he stayed for a year here.

It hurt, but that Jeff wasn’t my childhood friend, nor was it the boy I first kissed. This was a different Jeff, I was sure of it. This couldn’t be the same Jeff Skinner.

I lay back on my bed, and laid my hands over my eyes. I focused on keeping my breathing steady, attempting to forget what happened. What if he thought I was creepy, keeping track like that, or what if he thought I was obsessed? Was I? Did I really have a creepy addiction to Jeff Skinner?

No…if I left he would have felt the same. He doesn’t realize how painful. Maybe he thinks I’m being dramatic. Maybe he thinks I’m too clingy. Frustrated with my thoughts, I flung off my bed, searching through my old dresser until I found an old CD player.

I continued searching until I found the custom made CD my cousin had sent me two Christmases ago. Messing around with the wrapper, I finally got the case open, sliding the CD into the player, untangling the headphones, before slipping onto my bed.

I stared up at the ceiling, listening to the unsteady tones of the screaming singer. I slowly cranked it up to a volume that I could no longer hear my thoughts, and only the guitar solos.

I closed my eyes as the CD ran through twice, before I began to distinguish the songs. I kept my eyes closed, fighting back the thoughts of Jeff, fighting back anything that had to do with him.

I felt the warmth of the sun setting from outside my window, as I just kept my eyes sealed shut. Soon enough, the screaming shut out as I drifted off.

I opened my eyes to find myself on a familiar cold a sac. I heard the skidding of roller skates whip by me, leaving my hair to flap in the breeze behind me. Turning around, I saw my ten-year-old self.

My hair was knotted and braces decorated my teeth. I didn’t give a damn what boys thought of me, and I was basically one of them. There I was, playing street hockey without a care in the world.

I watched with interest as I saw myself elbow child Jeff in the ribs, before scoring the goal, cheering silently as the clouds seemed to go over the sky, dimming everything to a dark gray. Woosh.

I turned to see a puck fly by me, as the chill of ice ross from the ground. Some how, I knew the puck was me. Jeff was hitting around my emotions like a game. Suddenly, a crack was forming in the eyes as Jeff let me fall into it. Freeze surrounded me as I fell down into the dark abyss, Jeff not even trying to help.

I jolted up as the head phones ripped out of my ears, letting the CD player land on the floor with a thud.

I turned and checked my clock, realizing it was only 5 in the morning. I was still fully dressed, wearing my jacket, jeans, and even my shoes. My dream almost seemed silly now, thinking about it. I sunk back and closed my eyes but sleep refused to over come me.

Sighing, I slipped off the bed and carefully unplugged the headphones from my CD player, and turned it off, putting each of them gingerly into the dresser. Next, I walked down the creaky hall to the bathroom, where I brushed my teeth and hopped in the shower.

My eyes dropped to a close, as I let the water relax my muscles. I had always been most calm after taking a shower, letting the water fix whatever knots I had. I didn’t move that spot, until the hot water started to run out. I jumped out and changed into sweatpants and a tattered tee shirt and slipped back into bed, when the sun was just coming up.

I laid back, and closed my eyes, now overcome with drowsiness. When I closed my eyes, I tried not to think of the boy just next door, but that dream had drilled his face and name even farther into my brain. So there I was falling asleep.

Jeff being the first and last thing on my mind.