Teethmarks and Wolf Pelts

Felix wraps his arms around my shoulders as I fall to the damp, muddy ground. He sits upon the cold ground, pulling me even closer to him. He and Elijah are with me and it's almost dark, but the actual effect of turning was starting to really get to me. I'll admit it- I'm terrified. After this one Change, any idea of being a full human will be gone from me and my new form may be more powerful and more in control than I am. I could become dangerous or bloodthirsty. It's also a possibility that I could be chased down and slaughtered by Hunters. I'll have to watch my back, keep secrets, and lie to almost everyone I know.

However, there are three bright sides that I have found. One; I know my family will still accept and love me. Two; this is my only chance and only way to find Connor. And finally, the third bright side is -and even if he hates it- I'm exactly like Felix now and it's bringing me closer to him. The younger boy starts to rub my arms and makes shushing noise in an attempt to calm me down. They'd tried to get me to turn just a few minutes ago but my thoughts had started to cloud my mind, my feelings started to surface, and I lost all concentration.

"You okay?" Felix asks in a whisper. I breathe in his cilantro-y scent and I exhale in an effort to relax myself.

"Yeah," I say. I'm not exactly sure if it's the truth or not but it's a step in the right direction. Elijah looks down at me in a sad sort of way, trying to convey his sympathies. Felix's hand wanders up my arm again, his finger tips light and gracefully. I find myself smiling at his touch and he looks at me in curiosity. "Ready to try again?"

I truly think this over. Am I ready? This one Change will be the start of my new life. Am I really prepared? I haven't had much time to live with just this feeling of the wolf being inside me- and now I have to unleash it? I am about to become something inhumanly possible and will have to live by a set of rules and standards I didn't have before. Silently, I tell myself that all of this is okay. Even if I find Connor and bring him home, this is the life I want. To be a wolf and be with Felix- er, Lewis.

"I'm ready," I say, struggling to make my voice confident and strong. I close my fingers into a tight fist and grit my teeth, strengthening my body for the Change.

"Remember," Elijah says, his voice barely a whisper. "Stay focused on the animal inside of you, call it out and then let it take you over." I nod.

Wolf? I ask myself, digging deep down into my conscious, trying to locate one of the wolves I'd seen in that dream. I feel something in the pit of my stomach- pain, but in a sort of way that just pushes slightly. I am an animal, you are my animal, I reassure myself. We are animals. Suddenly, there's something that roars through my body, my skin burning and tingling. It doesn't exactly hurt but the shock of the sudden feeling leaves me speechless for a minute. In my silence, I can feel the need to run on all four and rips something to shreds with only my teeth. The wolf inside me growls, the sound exiting through my body. Elijah and Felix feel both scared and impressed but they back away accordingly.

"Oh!" I exclaim, feeling something shock through me. This time, it's indescribable pain that just spikes through me and then disappears. "Is this the Change?"

"Let it happen," is all Felix whispers. Just like that, I stop fighting to stay human and let my body just relax. My body is now just a vessel and I feel absolutely nothing. I sense my body drop to its knees and then push my palms against the ground. I can sense that my skin is rippling and that my spine is starting to extend- but I don't actually feel any of it. Rather, my mind calls out to the wolf taking over. Do you have a name? I ask. I'm not sure a name would matter but it'd be nice to not just call her "the wolf inside me."

Ember, she projects back to me. I feel my body go completely numb then and I have no control over the Change. Oddly enough, I can see it happening, as if it's an out of body experience. My hands widened, my fingers coming closer until it's a paw, claws extending soon after. Hair starts to grow from under my skin and lines my arms and all along my body. My face extends into a snout and my body enlarges, my clothes falling down around me in shreds. It hardly takes ten seconds or more but in the end result, there I am, my mind back in this body of a large reddish wolf.

"Breathtaking," Felix mutters wondrously as he makes his way toward me. I panic and stumble backward, my senses not yet awake. It's weird trying to walk backward with four paws, but I manage one paw at a time. Felix just keeps coming after me until his hand is on my fur. His hand moves along my fur, stroking it softly. I whimper, the noise loud. "Are you hungry, Ember?"

"How did you know her name?!" I project, my wolf form not able to speak. Felix laugh slightly and Elijah smirks.

"If you feel another when in wolf form, you can learn their name," Elijah explains. "Also, it's probably best for you to know that when we're in wolf form, we do not use our human names just in case other two natured are listening in. We use our animal names."

Just then, I felt a rumble in my stomach but my ears perked up without my doing. Ember and I are sharing the same body and we're helping each other out. I may have the body and make the decisions but she's helping me by making my baser instincts apparent. We have sort of a spiritual understanding of each other and I can sense her inside our body. We are one. And, to be honest, we're both starving.

"Can we hunt now?" I ask casually and the boys laugh at me. They nod fast and shift. I could tell this was going to be an entertaining night.



I wake up in sort of a haze, most of last nights events just a black hole in my memory. I remember the Change, but after that... Nothing. The troubling part, however, is that I really could care less. I slowly sit up in the motel bed and look around. Elijah sits at the lone desk in the corner, his laptop screen bright and it hurts my eyes a little. The shower in the bathroom is running and I assume Felix is in it. I almost giggle at the thought.

"There's the Woman of the Hour," Elijah jokes. I blush and rub the sleep from my eyes.

"Elijah," I say, his head swiveling in my direction. "Is it normal to not remember last night? I remember somethings like the Change, and I remember running around but other than that...it's just empty."

"It's perfectly normal. The first Change is always to much for the human consciousness to handle, so it blacks it out. After your next few Changes, you should be able to be in wolf form and be just fine."

"Then what happened last night?"

"Nothing much, really. We hunted. You actually caught a coon, ripped it's head clean off," he mutters. Normally, my stomach should have flipped around and I should have felt sick- but my stomach feels satisfied and in an odd way, I'm proud of myself. I not only shifted, but I killed and ate an animal, without harming any humans. I guess that had never been a concern of mine but I'm glad having the power of a wolf didn't go to my head and make me do anything stupid.

Suddenly the bathroom door opens and Felix steps out, clad only in a white motel towel wrapped around his waist. Though he'd already dried his body off, small beads of water still specked his chest and ran down his chiseled abdomen. His brown hair is soaked and clings to his head in straight strands. His hair is cute straight. Felix blushes at me. He feels slight embarrassed but I know he can feel my admiration of his body, of his hair, of his eyes- of him. "Shower is all yours, dude," he says to the other boy. "And make sure to turn it cold because the pipes are all messed up. Cold is hot, hot is cold."

"Cheap ass motel," he grunts as he stands, grabs some clothes from his suitcase, and heads to the bathroom. Felix and I laugh and he calmly walks onto the other side of the bed, picks up a pair of boxers from his suitcase. They're blue and white plaid and they look really cute. He's a boxer kind of guy. I blush.

"Could you, uh," Felix starts but I understand. I turn around on the bed so I face away from him. I hear his towel drop. To fill the awkward silence, Felix speaks. "How you feeling?"

"Good," I admit. "I just wish I could remember my first experience as Ember."

"After a few more tries, you'll be able to experience it all. No blacking out. It gets easier, Priss."

"Elijah said the same thing," I remark.

"He's a smart kid," Felix pauses, "You can turn around now."

Casually, I turn around to find a fully dressed Felix. He's, of course, wearing tight basketball shorts and blue tank top. Blue really isn't his color, but he still looks handsome in it. He rubs the towel against his damp hair in fast, swift motions, struggling to get it dry. "W-what's the plan for today?"

"Tristan and the others have called us to meet him at his apartment again and then afterward, we'll scour the city and ask random people if they've seen him. Ask establishments as well. Like stores and cafes."

"Sounds like it's our best bet for now, huh?"

Felix nods solemnly and climbs onto the bed. He slowly places his hand on mine, causing me to shiver lightly. His eyes travel from my hand, up my arms, until they're staring into my plain hazel eyes. His eyes hold so much compassion for me, for this search, for life. He opens his mouth as if to say something but the sound of running water turning on makes him close his mouth again. He bites his lip before speaking. "We'll find him, you know that right?"

"I know," I whisper, scooting closer to him. "It's whether or not he'll be living when we do that concerns me."

"Priscilla, I..." he starts but his words are lost as he pushes his lips against mine. I'm not caught off guard but I give a little whimper of excitement. Felix kisses me again and again, his tongue eventually finding its way into my mouth. I press mine against his as he lays me back down, his body going with mine. His bangs are wet against my forehead but I hardly notice. His lips are pressed hard against mine and I never want it to stop.

But it has too.

"Felix," I manage to get out between kisses. "Stop."

He pulls away accordingly and his eyes close in such a cute, yet saddening way. His voice comes out in a hurt, hushed whisper. "Why?"

"Because," I sigh. "I've already promised myself to be Lewis's when we get back."

And as soon as I say it, I know that it had been the wrong choice. It's Felix that I want. It's always been him.