Spark Bonds and Love Songs

“Can they take any fucking longer?! I could fucking be sleeping right now!” I bitched. “Or not sleeping,” I added on with a smirk and a wink Bee’s way. He just shook his head and picked me up, putting me on his shoulder.

“Brent, will you please be quiet?” Ratchet growled.

“Fuck off!” I snapped at the medic. He glared at me. I glared right back. It was him that insisted I was here in the first place.

Bee grabbed me and set me down. He transformed and activated his holoform. He spun me away from Ratchet and kissed me. That was one way to shut me up.

We pulled apart and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. I rested my head on his shoulder. A few minutes later the new bots arrived. They landed relatively close to each other, but far enough that none of them landed on each other. I watched as their unfolded revealing their protoforms.

“ARE YOU FRAGGING KIDDING ME?!” Sides and Sunny screamed.

“SLAG!” Bee said, his voice surprisingly strong.

“Who are they?” I asked.

“My security officer Red Alert, my military strategist Prowl, Blurr a high speed messenger, Bluestreak a gunner, Hot Rod a warrior,” Prime answered.

“Brent, so help me Primus, if you do anything to make Prowl glitch, I am going to…”

I tuned Ratchet out and looked at Bee, who was staring at Ratchet with a pissed off glare. I smirked. Sexy.

“Bee, chill,” I said. I grabbed his face and made him look at me. I smiled up at him. “It’s hot, when you get protective.”

He leaned down and kissed me.

The second we pulled apart, Sides picked me up and held me, so that I was face level with him and Sunstreaker. “What the fuck?!” I screamed at them.

“Listen. Red Alter is paranoid as all pit. Anything can set him off, and he watches the security camera religiously,” Sides said, ignoring me.

“Prowl is extremely logical. If it can’t be backed with logic, it’ll make him glitch,” Sunny told me.

“Blurr does everything as fast as possible. He talks so extremely fast that it’s hard to understand him.”

“Bluestreak, never shuts up.”

“Talks a blue streak. I get it,” I said.

“Glad you’re not that slow squishy,” Sunny said.

“I’ll key the shit out of you,” I threatened.

“Hot Rod is pretty cool.”

“Okay now that you got that out of the way, PUT ME DOWN!” I screamed.

Sides set me down, and I walked back over to Bee.

“So I take it you don’t want me to tell them,” I said to Ratchet.

“Exactly. Keep your mouth shut and vocal processor muted," Ratchet growled at me.

“Why are you getting shitty with me today? I haven’t done shit to you. You insisted I be here.”

“Hatchet needs to recharge," Sunny said.

“I can relate,” I mumbled. Then I thought about it. “If I can’t tell them, then why the fuck am I here?”

“Because…” the medic snarled.

Bee sat down on his hood and pulled me with him, so that I was sitting between his legs. He wrapped his arms around my middle and leaned, so that his head was in the crook of my neck. I leaned back into him.

“You’re insane you know that?” Bee asked me.

“You fucking love it.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Will you two beha-“

“Don’t you have actual fucking work to do?! Go fucking check on one of the new arrivals and leave me the fuck alone!”

“Listen femme-“

“NO! You make me get up out of bed to come here and not fucking do anything! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS SHIT!”

“I requested your presence here,” Optimus finally said, “I want you to find suitable alt modes for our new arrivals, for them to scan or look up.”

“Bee, shoulder please,” I asked.

He transformed and placed me on his shoulder strut. The bots had begun to come closer. Prime greeted them. “Friends, it is good to see you are all well. Before we truly get into catching up and explaining things, it is vital that we find you suitable alternate modes. Brent here, will give you each suggestions.” Optimus gave me the go ahead.

“Well I’m Bitchy Brenton. Blurr, I here that you’re fast.”

“Thefastest.”

I barely caught his words.

“Bugati Veyron Super Sport, it’s the fastest street legal car ever made.” I explained. “Who wants theirs next?” I asked. One stepped forward. “What’s your designation?”

“Hot Rod.”

“2011 Dodge Challenger, from your name, I suggest a flame paint job and a blower. NEXT!” I called another stepped forward. “Name?”

“Prowl.”

“Dodge charger police car,” I said.

“I’m Bluestreak. It’s nice to meet you. I can’t wait-“

“I’m tired and will be civil later. For now, Bee send him that BMW concept I showed you a while back.”

“Last but not least Red Alert.” I thought about it. I had nothing. “Uh… I don’t know. How about a fire chief’s car, but I don’t know.”

He apparently looked it up and chose a Mustang one, because that’s what he transformed to.

“All right can we fucking go now?! I am tired, Ratchet’s pissing me off, and I have to wake up in…” I checked my internal clock. “Three hours.”

“I don’t see the logic in bringing the human. She could have just simply written the list down or told you her suggestions for the alt modes.”

I glared up at Prowl.

“Brent don’t even think about it,” Ratchet growled. I let out a snarl. Ratchet growled back.

“Prowl, what came first the chicken or the egg?” I asked him. I heard the twins start snickering.

“According to your human science it would be an egg. The chicken would be hatched from an egg, but its predecessor wouldn’t be a chicken, but some other kind of bird.”

“Optimus!” I whined.

“Bee, take her back to base.”

“It was such a simple question,” Prowl said.

That really burned my ass. “Prowl?”

“Yes."

"I almost died and met Primus, and since I’m in love with Bumblebee, she turned me into a techno organic, and we bonded.” I retracted my pretender skin.

Then he glitched.

With a smirk, I jumped to the ground. Bee transformed and opened the passenger door for me. I sat down and curled up in his seat. “You’re gonna end up with a wrench wedged in your plating,” Bee told me, his holoform appearing in the driver’s seat.

“I don’t give a fuck.”