Don't Go

I was walking across the street to Katniss’s house. It had been days since she’d slept in my bed and we’d talked for the first time in months. After dinner, she went home to sleep in her own home. Ever since then, I’d come by every day, dropping off bits of food for her. She looked so thin, I couldn’t stand it.

“Hey, kid.”

I turned my head and saw a sober face. It was Haymitch, looking rather clean.

“Hey.” I said, offering a smile. “I was just dropping off food for Katniss.” I said, nodding my head into the direction of her house.

Haymitch nodded and smiled wryly. “She’s still a piece of work. Can’t function in front of others very well, that one; I’ll be surprised if she can still talk.”

I shrugged. “She talked to me.”

Haymitch gave her an odd glance. “When did you talk?” he asked curiously.

I gave him the details and he sighed softly. “I know you think things are going to be okay. I know you want her still, but you need to be completely in control. You don’t want to hurt her, do you?”

I was almost offended. “I am in control!”

Haymitch gave me a look. “Don’t deny it; I’ve seen you freeze up. I’ve seen you gripping a chair once or twice. You still see it. I still see it. She’ll still see it. Be patient with her, please.”

I nod as he walks off. As much as Haymitch would like to deny it, he cares about Katniss more than he wants to admit it. He sees himself in her and wants to protect her just as much as I want to as well. He loves her like a daughter, and he cared about her more in the games than he ever cared about me.

The door slowly opened when I knocked. I saw her slight smile. “Hi.” She said quietly, letting me in. Her house was dark. It wasn’t messy, but it just seemed as if things were untouched.
Katniss and I sat in the kitchen. She hadn’t done anything that day, so I told her how I’d gone around the square and visited the medicine shop. I hadn’t told her about my new bakery yet; it still had to be built.

“Katniss…I don’t like you being alone here.” I said gently.

Katniss shrugged. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

I sighed. I knew this would burn me later on, but I decided it was the best idea. “You could always live with me, you know.”

Katniss’s eyes lit up and she looked at me. “Really?” she asked her voice hoarse. “Why would you want me?”

I blushed. “Katniss, you’re the only person in the world who knows exactly what I’ve gone through. You’re family now.” I blurted.

Katniss walked over to me and buried her face into my shoulder. It was one of the very few times she’d ever shown weakness of some sort to me.

“Thank you, Peeta.” She whispered.

I brushed her hair. “No problem, Katniss.”

The next day we began the moving process. There really wasn’t a lot to be moved except for the copious amounts of clothes Cinna had created for Katniss before his death. Katniss and I moved box after box of luxurious dresses and outfits. Most of them she never wore. Katniss preferred to wear just pants and shirts along with her trusty hunting boots.

I brought the boxes into the room next to mine; there was a door that attached it to my bathroom. We could go in and out at our own leisure. I helped Katniss fill her wardrobe and drawers with her very few belongings.

Before nightfall, the old Everdeen house was empty and mine was fuller than it had ever been.

Katniss and I went downstairs for dinner. I had cooked up a chicken for us; I figured it would make a nice housewarming dinner. She sat down across from me, a sly smile on her face.

Her eyes were slightly warmer as well.

This was the Katniss I knew and loved.

“So, we’re housemates now I guess.” Katniss said, grinning.

I smiled back at her. “Yeah, we’re housemates now. You’ll have to get used to my snoring.” I teased.

Katniss chuckled. “I doubt that’s the least of my worries.”

We ate the bird in silence. We didn’t know what to talk about now, ever since the games had finished. We hadn’t been up to much at all.

Katniss stood up and looked at my paintings. “They’re lovely, you know.” She commented. “The ones that aren’t of the war…they’re really nice.”

I nodded, looking at painting. It was of me and my brothers, running around in the shop. My dad was watching us, laughing. Mom even had a smile.

“Thanks.” I whispered.

Katniss turned to another painting of the two of us in the arena. We were in the cave; it was one of the tender moments during the games.

“You have a phenomenal memory.” She said, brushing her hand against the canvas. “You’ll have to teach me.”

I grinned and nodded at my studio. “It’s therapeutic, you know. It really helps with the memories.” I mentioned.

However, that seems to have struck an awful chord in her. Her face paled and she looked down. “I’m very tired…maybe I’ll go to sleep now.” She said awkwardly. I nodded and we started washing the dishes quietly. It was almost a little routine, like we’d been living together for a long time. When the dishes were dried and put away, she silently retired to her room for the night. Sighing, I knew I screwed things up.

But why was I always the one screwing up? Why was I the only one making mistakes? It was frustrating to be the only one in this so called relationship trying to possibly make things work.

After a long time I went upstairs too. Katniss’s door was shut. I limped over to the door, hoping my prosthetic wouldn’t creak against the hard wood floors. Pressing my ear to the door, I heard a whimpering cry.

And I hated myself for not being able to protect her.