This is the Calm Before the Storm

Meet me out the front x

The text was from Adam who I hadn’t seen in person since out little incident but I’d spoken to him lots. I just hoped everything wasn’t stupidly awkward.

It was the night of the gig, everyone was inside, but Nora and James weren’t even here cause she was ill and he was looking after her. So she says…

I had no idea that Adam was here either, but I stood out the front waiting for him until he showed up a few minutes later. He smiled brightly and pulled me into a hug before stepping back.

“So I kind of have something I want to tell you” he smiled, and my face must have looked worried because he laughed and held his hands up. “Don’t worry el, its nothing bad, I just had a word with dan about some things”

“Sorry if im having a blonde moment here, but what’s that got to do with me?”

“Well I wanted to speak to josh, you know, set things straight, but he didn’t wanna see me so I spoke to dan instead. He said he’d speak to josh, I don’t know; maybe talk some sense into him”

“You did that for me?” I whispered and he shrugged like he was embarrassed.

“So I’m not his biggest fan, mostly because he’s got you so that mean I cant have you” he winked and I rolled my eyes. “But seriously, if he makes you happy then that’s all I care about”

“Thank you Adam” I smiled before I pulled him into a hug

“It might not work, but It least I tried” he smiled proudly, and we then when inside together.

“Where have you been barrier buddy?” Oscar called and he grabbed my arms and pulled me towards the front where Alana and Curtis were. We chatted for about five minutes before the lads came on stage and the place erupted into noise.

Dan and I locked eyes and he smiled brightly at me. I smiled back and then tried to look at josh but he seemed to know I was there and didn’t want to look anywhere near me.

Guess the little talk didn’t work.

The boys were on top form, josh especially. His voice seemed to be changing, like he didn’t sound so young anymore. He sounded like a man.

He didn’t look at me the whole time, but I didn’t let it show it affected me. I wasn’t here for just josh; well that’s what I told myself anyway. I was here for all my boys.

The set was nearly over, just one song left, when the boys changed their guitars to acoustic ones. Whilst they were all shuffling about josh began speaking to the crowd.

“So this is out last song. Um I first played this just before we went on our first tour and the crowd we played too seemed to like it so yeah. Um it’s about a girl I fell in love with” he smiled and then he finally looked at me. “Truth is im still falling for her” he spoke, looking right into my eyes. “I may have fucked up more than anyone else, but I love her more than anyone else. So this one’s for you” he smiled at me and then Chris began to play.

“If it hurts this much,
then it much be love,
and it’s a lottery,
I can't wait to draw your name…”

Oh josh, you always did have a way with words.

He never took his eyes off me, and I could feel my heart pounding im my chest so hard it almost drowned out the music. I should have been worried about Stella being around, but right now I didn’t care.

It felt like it was just josh and me in the room and it took every ounce of my strength not to climb up on stage and kiss him like my life depended on it.

Somehow the song was nearly over and it was coming up to the last few lines. But he changed the last line.

“You always have your way,
for now it to soon for you to say,
we will be always, always.”

The place cried out with screams and the boys quickly left the stage.

We all mulled around the place for a few minutes, waiting for the next band to come on when I got a text from josh.

Meet me in the ally

I quickly excused myself and made my way through the crowd and out the front door. It was dark out, and I was pissing myself waking up the ally, I mean who knows who was in there?

I couldn’t see josh, and I couldn’t even hear him. In fact I couldn’t even sense a presence. It might have been due to the fact that my heart was pounding from fear and I was on the verge of having a panic attack but I was completely freaking out right now.

I suddenly felt a hand grip my wrist and I let out a little yelp.

“El it’s me, calm down”

Relief suddenly washed over me as I detected josh’s voice. I let out a long shaky breath. “Sorry, I… I don’t know, it didn’t feel like anyone was here”

“I can hear your heart racing” he whispered and pulled me closer to his chest. “Sorry I scared you”

“It’s ok” I whispered back and then looked up into his face. Even though it was pitch black I could still make out his eyes. Those bright blue orbs that seemed to shine in the pitch black were what first attracted me to josh.

It’s was the little things that attracted me to people. Like someone’s smile or their laugh or just like their mannerisms. For josh it was his eyes. It was like if you looked into you were looking into his soul. I’d stare into them and I’d know I was home.

“Im sorry I didn’t believe you” he said after a few minutes of silence. “I guess I got angry and jumped to conclusions. It was wrong and I’m sorry”

“Don’t worry about it; it did look a little weird”

“Yeah well I should have listened to you”

“Its ok” I sighed and josh pulled me into him, his head resting on my shoulder and his lips were against my ear.

“Ive missed you. Im so used to having you around, I miss what we had”

“We can get it back, if you want”

“You have no idea how much I want that” he sighed and then looked at me, keeping his arms around me. “I meant what I said; I’m still falling for you. I’ll make this right I promise. Just wait for me yeah?”

“I’d wait forever for you josh”

His hand moved up to cup my face and he pressed his lips to mine.