This is the Calm Before the Storm

“Do we really have to do this?” I asked as I pulled my jacket on.

It was a week later and Alana was having a party tonight, and somehow josh had gotten himself invited. He had kept texting me but I didn’t know what to reply so I had just ignored him. He was the last person I wanted to see.

“Yes we do. You look proper fit and he’s gonna wonder what the hell is going on in that stupid little head of his. Now hurry up, James is outside” Nora said.

After one final glance in the mirror I sighed and grabbed my bag. James had kindly agreed to be the designated driver for the evening because he had work the next day and didn’t wanna get drunk. Plus I think he wanted to keep an eye on Nora.

We arrived about half an hour in and her house was already pretty much full. Nora disappeared as soon as we got there, leaving me and James in her living room. We stood looking for her, but instead of finding her, I saw josh on the other side of the room talking to some guys he knew that didn’t go to our college.

James saw me looking and put an arm around me.

“You ok el?” he said over the music.

I nodded and looked up to his face to see the genuine concern written on his face. “Im fine. Thank you, James. It means a lot knowing I have you. I mean that.”

“Don’t worry about it love” he smiled and then Nora appeared again with two 3 cups.

“Ok so that’s a coke for you” she smiled and handed a cup to James, and he responded by kissing her cheek. She then handed a cup to me.

“What’s this?” I questioned and she shrugged.

“No idea. Alana just gave it to me”

I nodded and took a sip. It burnt slightly as it made its way through me, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t one for getting drunk but right now I wanted to drink myself into oblivion.

I looked back to where josh was to see he wasn’t there anymore. I decided just to forget about it and try and enjoy myself. I spent some time with Curtis and Alana before they stared making out so I went and find Oscar but he was completely out of it and talking to Alana’s dog about the world’s current financial situation.

I went back to try and find James and Nora but they were sitting on the sofa being all cute. It felt like a rock had settled in my stomach. I admit that I was jealous. I missed josh; I will admit that as well. I honestly just wanted to be on my own for a while so I grabbed another drink and made my way out to the garden where it was thankfully empty.

Alana’s garden was really weird, like it had 3 parts and you had to go up steps to get to each different bit. I went half way up the first set and because it was dark I thought I was well hidden, but clearly not enough because I herd his voice from the bottom of them.

“Why are you ignoring me?” josh questioned.

I tightened the grip on the cup in my hand and had to resist the urge to sigh. I didn’t answer and he ascended up the steps and sat down next to me.

“El please, don’t be like this” he sighed and went to reach for my arm. I flinched away and stood up, retreating back down the steps

“Look josh can you please just leave me alone” I said, my voice slightly shaking and I could feel the tears coming again, but he needed to understand. “I need time away from you ok, I need time to forget. I cant just switch my feeling’s off like you.”

“But I miss you el” he said, making me stop dead in my tracks. I came back down and stood next to me. “This is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking. I mean can we not even be friends?”

“In case you’ve forgotten josh, you’re the one who finished with me. You don’t get to pick and chose how this works okay? You finished with me, which means I don’t want anything to do with you right now. You might be mad at me cause I don’t wanna be near you, but in the end, its all your fault”

“No matter what’s happened, I still love you”

“No josh. If you loved me then you would never have done this” and the tears that had been building fell. He reached out to wipe them away but I moved my head and he dropped his hands. “Do you remember when you told me you would never let anyone hurt me?” I asked and looked at him. He nodded lightly, his eyes never leaving mine. “Well for the most part I believed you, but then again it’s an impossible promise right, you can’t stop someone from being hurt. I just never thought it would be that would hurt me the most”

He went to reply, but the door behind me opened and a very drunk Nora fell out of it. “Yo bitches” she slurred and flung and arm around my shoulders. I saw a small smile appear on josh’s face at the sight of her “what’s you talking about?”

“Nothing, um lets get inside” and pulled her back with me. Josh stayed outside thankfully, but as soon as James caught sight of Nora he suggested we go which I was grateful for.

Nora sat with me in the back, and sung nursery rhymes to me the whole way home. She tired to get me and James to join in but I was laughing too much to even try. Even when Nora was drunk she knew how to lift my mood.

Nora was staying with me for the night and James helped me get her up to my room before he said his goodbyes and left us too it. We changed and were just lying there in silence when Nora turned to face me.

“So what were you and josh talking about?” she whispered. She was no more sober than she was before but she was trying to act like she was.

“He um, he told me that he missed me and wants to be friends”

“I’ll kill him” she whispered and started to get up.

“Nora what are you doing?” I asked confused.

“I’m going to kill josh, I just said that didn’t I?” she slurred and then fell back down.

“Do it tomorrow okay? It’s late”

“Fine she huffed and the settled back down. I thought she had fallen asleep soon after because she was silent, but about 10 minutes later she began to speak again. “You know el, don’t let him play with your feelings, you deserve someone who’s constant with what he says, someone who really cares about you and who wouldn’t hurt you in the first place”

I smiled and reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze. “I think your the best friend a girl could have Nora.”

“I know” she slurred and I giggled lightly.

“You’ve helped me more than you’ve realised. I owe you big time”

“Don’t mention it” she said finally before exhaustion finally took over both of us and we fell asleep.