This is the Calm Before the Storm

In a relationship.

It had been just over 2 weeks since josh left college. It didn’t make me think about him any less, if anything it just made me miss him more. I wanted to be over him I really did, but it was hard.

Especially when it was clear that josh was over me. The pictures of him and his new girlfriend told me that much. It was the girl, the girl that lived down his street. They were being all cutesy like me and him used to be. I tried not to look, but it was hard not too.

And it hurt. But it was all my fault, I just couldn’t fully tear myself away from him and in the end, that’s what would hurt me the most.

“Hey el, there’s a gig on Friday down town, just a few local bands and stuff, you in?” Oscar asked Thursday lunch time. I knew what they were doing. They were trying to keep me busy. I appreciated it but sometimes I just wanted to be left alone. If I told them I didn’t want to go then they would hassle me until I agreed. I learnt that the hard way.

“Yeah sure, why not” I said and tried to put on a convincing smile. They thankfully bought it and carried on with whatever they were talking about before. I must be good at pretending to look happy. Infact I don’t even really remember what happy was like.

Saturday rolled around soon enough, and Nora and I were making our way to the venue where the gig was being held. There was a huge line outside but Nora just ignored it and walked up right to bouncers at the door. She began talking to them as I awkwardly adjusted my knee socks, before she grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.

It was dark, and hot, and smelt like sweat and sex. Nora dragged me through the crown and over to where Curtis, Alana, Oscar and James were. James passed us some drinks; we talked amongst ourselves for a bit.

That was until I saw her.

Curtis was in the middle of telling me who was supposed to be playing tonight, when josh’s new girlfriend, Stella Bright appeared from across the room.

I knew I was bias but I didn’t see what he saw in here. She was nothing special. Not saying I was but even so. She had shoulder length brown hair that wasn’t long enough to be long, but not short enough to be short. It was in that awkward in between stage. She was short. Shorter than me if that was possible and it only added to the fact she looked so much younger than she was.

Curtis clearly saw I wasn’t paying attention and followed my gaze to where Stella was stood with her overly made up friend Karla Emmings. They were like two polar opposites. Stella looked like she made no effort at all, where as Karla looked like she needed to lay off the eyeliner and back combing.

“Shit, we had no idea they were gonna be here Elodia, do you wanna leave?” Curtis said. The others looked up then and saw the two girls. They all went to speak at once but I stopped them.

“Guys its fine, im not gonna let her ruin my night”

“Here here” Nora chanted and we all raised our glasses, chanting in unison. I couldn’t help but look back over to where Stella was, to find her looking over in our direction.

Josh then came into view. He put him hands on her hips from behind her and kissed her cheek. I tried to ignore the pang of hurt that seemed to harbour itself in my chest whilst I focused on what they were doing.

Stella tilted her head up and whispered something in his ear, before josh looked up and right into my eyes. I held the contact for a few seconds and then turned back to everyone, pretending like nothing had happened.

“I don’t mean to bring the subject back up again” Alana started, “but are they like facebook official now?”

Curtis nodded and answered her. “Yeah, he changed it yesterday”

“Word on the street is she changed hers a week and a half ago” Oscar replied.

“Desperate much” James snorted, and then the subject was dropped. I caught eyes with Nora and she shot me a sympathetic smile. I thought it was about to get awkward when the lights suddenly got darker if that’s possible, and the crowd erupted into cheers. Curtis and Alana ran to the front by the stage, closely followed by Nora and James.

Don’t get me wrong, I love going to gigs, but I prefer to just listen to the music rather than jump around like a fool and get smashed in the face and groped by strangers. I looked next to me to find Oscar standing there with his arm held out to me. “Looks like it’s just you and me” he winked.

I laughed and took him arm. He somehow made it all the way to the barrier, and he pulled me in front of him. The first band were good. I didn’t catch there name but the lead guitarist was pretty hot. The second band were okay, a little too heavy for my liking. And then it was time for the third. I guess I should have seen it coming.

The 5 familiar boys walked out on stage to mass round of applause. I felt Oscars hands, which were settle on my waist so I didn’t lose him, tighten slightly.

“You wanna get out of here Elodia?” he spoke loud enough for me to hear.

“No its fine, honestly” I reassured him and looked back up to the stage. Josh caught my eyes immediately before giving me a small simile and then addressing the crowd.

“We, are you me at six” he said before the music started up.

They were good. Ive listened in on some of their practices before so I knew that much, but I had never heard them live before. It seemed to make them more 3d; they had an edge to them.

The problem was josh’s voice. He used to sing to me all the time. I used to think he had the most beautiful voice in the world. I still do. After a few lively songs I saw the boys changed to their acoustic guitars. Whilst they were changing josh spoke to the crowd.

“Hey guys so this next one is a bit slower, and um, I wanna dedicate this song to someone” he looked to the side of the stage and I followed his gaze to see Stella standing there. She shot him a smile and when I looked back he returned it slightly. “This ones for Stella” he said quietly.

The music started and I recognised the song instantly. It was the one josh used to sing to me, that he told me was for me and about me.

And now he was singing it to another girl?

This was too much, I turned to Oscar and he just knew. We both pulled through the crowds and out through the front door.

“Bastard, I’m gonna kill him” Oscar growled as he pulled me into him. I held onto him tightly but I didn’t cry. I was determined not too.

“He’s not worth it”

“I just hate seeing you like this Elodia. You’re like a little sister to me”

“Im older than you Oscar”

“By 3 months so it kind of doesn’t count” he said pulling away. He led me over to the curb and we sat down.

“Yes it does count” I giggled. “That’s a very long time”

“Ok fine, your older” he huffed “but you’re shorter so you look younger.”

“Oh whatever” I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.

“I just don’t like seeing you upset. That was all”

“I know. I’m glad I have you” and I hugged his arm.

I was so glad I still had my friends. I think that’s all you need when you’re going through a break up. Friends. People who care about you when the person you thought cared the most doesn't.