Right Where I Belong

“Can we not worry about this?” I asked my mother who I was currently giving a stern look too over Skype.
“Honey, I’m just saying your father and I would like to have to grandchildren one day…preferably before we go on our death beds.” I could see in the background my dad shaking his head. Sure my father wanted grandchildren like my mom, but he wasn’t going to push the subject.
I rolled my eyes, “Mom, just chill please. There is plenty of time, besides you and dad are both healthy, nothing is going to happen to you.”
“You don’t know that! God works in mysteries ways.”
“Maggie, leave the poor girl alone. If you are planning on dying anytime soon then you best figure out who’s getting what.” My dad joked as he watched TV. My mom just seemed to ignore him.
I rolled my eyes once again. It was always the same thing every week…When are you going to find a guy, when are you going to get married, when are you going to have a baby.
“Goodbye mom.” I said ending the conversation and logging off the computer.
I sighed deeply getting up from my desk chair in my now spare bedroom to my room. I opened the bottom door of my dresser, grabbing a bathing suit, I moved on to an upper drawer grabbing shorts and a tank top. I swiftly changed into the new attire slipped on my sandals grabbed my purse and headed out the door.
***
I was currently sitting outside Starbucks sipping on my iced caffé mocha reading the magazine I had just bought. It was actually rather quiet today, which was a surprise considering how nice it was. It was warm with just a slight breeze to make the sun tolerable. Looking across the street to the beach and ocean it looked to be a perfect surf day.
I heard my phone going off, I franticly dug through my purse to find it and ended up just missing the call. Sure enough it was my editor, she must have finally finished going through the first draft of the sequel, I was rather nervous to hear what she had to say. I stuffed my phone into my pocket deciding I would call her back later today.
“May I sit with you?” I looked up at the voice to see Joel.
“Sure have a seat. What are you doing here?” I asked looking to see if McKenzie was around.
“She’s at work right now. I’m actually here alone, decided since there was nothing going on I would just cruise around, I was going to go get some sushi for lunch when I spotted you.”
“I didn’t realize I was that noticeable from a distance.” I sipped on my drink and placed my magazine in my purse. “So, who is McKenzie shooting today?”
“She’s shooting some photos for Avenged Sevenfold. They’re going to be on the new cover, plus she is doing a photo shoot for them for some other thing they got going on, I don’t remember what it’s for.”
I nodded in understanding, “So where is your partner in crime? He’s usually a few feet behind you.”
Joel laughed, “I’m not sure what Benji’s doing today. He said something about having plans. Do you want to join me for lunch?”
“Sure I got nothing better to do.” We headed for the sushi just down the street a few shops down. We got a table outside on the balcony where we had a pretty good view. Joel and I continued to talk about aimless things, he asked about my book and I asked about their upcoming tour and what was in the works.
“This might sound a little strange coming from me, but I think you really need to find someone.”
I shook my head and sighed, “Not to be rude Joel, but I just got this from my mom this morning and I’m not in the mood to go through it again.”
“I didn’t mean you need to find someone, I just meant I think you need to find someone so you aren’t alone all the time in the apartment. McKenzie feels bad that she just up and left you there. Maybe you should get a roommate?”
“Oh yeah, like I am going to let some stranger I have never met before come and live with me.” I took a drink of my water. “I’m sorry but I don’t want to become a murder victim.”
Joel found this extremely hilarious and continued to laugh at me for good five minutes before he stopped. “I’m sorry.” He laughed his apology.
“Go ahead and laugh, but I am not taking that risk.”
Joel’s phone started going off, with a quick apology and excusing himself, Joel got up and answered it. I continued to eat looking out into the ocean and watching the people on the beach.
Joel had a point; I was alone in that apartment way too much. When McKenzie lived with me, I always had someone talk to and hang out with. Even when McKenzie and Joel started dating she was still home often enough that it didn’t seem like anything had changed.
“Benji is going to be meeting us here.” Joel said sitting down.
“Oh, I thought you said he had plans.”
“Yeah, he did. He said something about his plans falling through or not working the way he wanted.”
***
Joel, Benji, and I had sat at the sushi place for a good hour and a half before we left. Joel headed home while Benji and I decided walk around.
“So Joel told me you had plans, what happened?” I asked curiosity getting the better of me.
“Yeah,” Benji paused for a brief second, “I was just trying to come up with a special way to ask the girl I like out. I’m not having any luck.”
I laughed, “why don’t you just do it the old fashion way, “Will you be my girlfriend”, “Will you go out with me”, Do you want to catch a movie”. Save the special way for the proposal.” I advised.
Benji nodded sucking in a deep breath, “hey you want to head to your place, this place is getting kind of busy.”
“Yeah sounds good. I’ll meet you there.”
***
Benji and I were watching The Breakfast Club on TV considering nothing else was on. I told him about Joel’s advice about getting a roommate, which he thought would be a good idea as well. I then moved the conversation on to what my mother had to say.
“You’re only 25; you have so much time before you need to find someone.” He laughed
“Tell me about it, but my mom is so grandchild crazy I think I could scream.” I laughed as I made my way over to get some water, “I like that she wants me to find someone who makes me happy, but I just wish she would lay off.”
Benji didn’t say anything; I sat back down on the love seat continuing to watch the movie. Suddenly Benji looked at me, he opened his mouth and then closed it going back to the movie. He did this several times before giving up.
“Just say whatever is on your mind Benji.” I giggled as his expression became serious.
“I’m trying; it’s not exactly easy Allie.”
“Sure it is Benji, all you have to do is form these things called words and speak them.”
“Smartass” Benji whispered under his breath.
“Why yes, yes I am.” I joked, “Come on Benji, you have never had this problem before.” Which was true, he used to be a smartass to me all the time, coming up with witty puns and making me the pun to almost every single joke of his.
What if McKenzie was right, what if Benji did have feelings for me? I wanted so badly to ask, to get the wondering over, but I knew I couldn’t do that without getting questioned in return. Was it a risk I was willing to take, what if I wasn’t the girl Benji was talking about, what if he just wanted my opinion on something and didn’t want me to get the wrong idea?
“Allie!” Benji slightly yelled grabbing my attention back.
“Yeah?”
“Did you hear what I said?” He asked, his facial expression was hard to read, but his eyes were pleading for something.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t.” I apologized; I could read the disappointment that flashed on his face for a brief second. What if Benji had asked me out? I just completely missed my chance. “What did you say?” I asked pleading inside that he would ask me again.
He paused, considering if he should say whatever it was again. “I said I was going to head home, I’ll talk to you later.” Benji got up and left without giving me a chance to say anything.
I jumped out of my seat on the couch and headed for the door hoping to catch Benji in time. I opened the door, but Benji was out sight. Closing the door in defeat I leaned against it. “Shit.” I whispered.