You Think You're So Great

We pulled up our driveway my sister put the car into park and we sat for a minute in silence. I looked around nervously and noticed it has started snowing; small flakes fell on the windshield of the SUV we were in. “So what happened?” I jumped at the question. “What do you mean what happened, nothing happened, nothing at all,” She looked at me, obviously not believing a word I’d just said. “Tell me.” She urged. I couldn’t take it anymore, I started to cry. Brooke moved over close to me and hugged me as she rested her chin on my head. “Shhhh, shhhh,” she whispered, trying to calm me. I cried harder when she did that, all I could think about was Brayden whispering that into my ear before I blacked out. I calmed myself down and started to speak. “Brayden Schenn took me to a hotel and we had sex. There.” I looked up at her as she moved away from me. “Then why are you such a mess?” she asked concerned. “I don’t know, I guess I was just really nervous.” And I shrugged my shoulders. “Oh, oh okay, well if you wanna talk about it, you can talk to me,” then she got out of the car, leaving me alone.

Why had I lied to her? Oh well, I guess I just needed to keep this to myself, I needed to forget about it. I unbuckled my seat belt and got out of the car. By now there was snow sticking to the ground and when I breathed I saw my breath. I hurried inside, I just wanted to take a shower to get the feeling off of me. I went up the stairs to my bedroom and grabbed a change of clothes and a towel. I headed out of there to the bathroom, once I got in there I turned on the shower and removed the disgusting clothing I had on. I stepped into the hot shower and let the water hit my face. Then I began to scrub and scrub but I couldn’t get clean. Finally I gave up and got out of the shower. I headed to my room and plopped down on my bed, I laid there on my back staring at the ceiling for a moment, then it hit me. I was so tired. I needed to sleep.

At 9:00 am, I woke and sat straight up in my bed, my phone was ringing. “Who on earth is calling me?” I said to myself and walked over to my dresser to pick up my phone, I looked and I didn’t recognize the number. I answered. “Hey baby,” I heard his voice on the other line, “W-why do you have my number?” I started to shake then he spoke again, “I just wanted to say,” he paused, “I had a great time last night, maybe we could do it again sometime,” Then he laughed. All I could hear was the sound of my heart beat as I screamed something at the phone and hung it up. I felt like I was about to puke so I ran to the bathroom and sure enough, emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Brooke was already awake and saw me as I walked out of the bathroom. “Bad hangover, eh?” and she laughed. “Yeah, hangover, that’s what it is,” I said shakily and walked away, back to my bedroom; I fell back onto my bed and was out once again.

“Emily!” I heard someone banging on my door, “You’ve been asleep all day!” they yelled at me. I got out of bed and opened the door, it was Brooke. I looked at her with sleepy eyes, I was so stiff and sore and I felt dirty. “Come on, you’re going to the Blades game with me,” she stated, “get ready, we’re leaving in 10 minutes.” I started to speak but before I could object she shut the door in my face. “Okay.” I said quietly and pathetically. I looked over at my clock and it was 5:50pm. I found some jeans and a t-shirt and slipped them on. I put my hair up in a pony tail and didn’t bother with any makeup, I didn’t care how messed up I looked. I walked out of my room and saw Brooke hurrying down the hallway, looking back to tell me she was leaving. I quickly followed despite how badly I didn’t want to go. We’d been going to Blades games together for years, we had glass seat season tickets. I had to go.

Once we got in the car I asked why we were getting there so early. “They’re signing autographs today before the game,” she stated. I started to panic inwardly. “Oh, who’s signing autographs today?” I asked trying to swallow the lump in my throat as I waited for her response. “Well, um, I think Nicholls and Trask will be there, oh and Schenn, he’s there for sure.” I died inside. I couldn’t see him again, not this soon. No. We got to the arena and parked. As we got out of the car I started feeling sicker and sicker, but I couldn’t get sick here, not now. So I sucked it up and walked into the arena with Brooke. There was a sign stating which way autographs were and we followed it. Then as we turned in the hallway, I saw him. The first time since his dark face was over me untying my arms and legs after he hurt me. I wanted to cry and I just hoped he didn’t notice me, but he did.

“Emily!” he yelled happily and motioned for my sister and I to walk over to him. He smiled. “So do you two want autographs?” he asked staring at me the whole time. Brooke smiled unknowingly and said, “I do!” cheerfully, Brayden then signed a card with his face on it and gave it to her. Then she walked to the other players leaving me alone with Brayden. “So what about you?” he asked, sounding so nice I couln’t believe he’d ever do a thing he did last night. “I would never ever want your fucking autograph in a million years, asshole!” I screamed it and hadn’t realized I was so loud until everyone looked over at me and Brayden states to no one in particular, “This chick is crazy,” and then I turned around and went to the bathroom where I got sick, once again.

After I threw up I left the bathroom and found Brooke, she asked me what had happened back there and I shrugged it off. We went to find our seats and sat down to watch warm ups. We waited for a little bit and heard the announcer announce, “AND HERE ARE YOU SASKATOON BLADES!” loudly over the intercom and we saw them skate furiously out onto the ice. As the warm ups began I spotted Brayden and he spotted me, he winked and continued skating. He didn’t look at me again the entire game and I was glad. During the game he scored 2 goals and tallied 2 assists. For each goal Brooke stood up and cheered loudly, like I used to, and wanted me to cheer too, but I never got up to do so, I just wanted to leave. Finally, the final buzzer sounded and the game was over. I hurried out of the arena and Brooke followed. Once we were in the car she started to ask me something but I cut her off, “Just drive,” I said and she obeyed.

We had made it home and I was sitting on my bed scrolling through Tumblr with my laptop, when my phone vibrated, I picked it up, I’d gotten a text message. The same number as earlier. Brayden. I opened it and it read,

Why didn’t you want my autograph, babe? :( I’m glad you came to see me play though, those goals were for you ;)

I felt sick, why did he keep torturing me like this? Didn’t he already mess me up enough? I needed to do something about this, if he kept contacting me and I kept seeing him, I’d never move on. I had to tell someone the truth.