Finding Daddy

Normal P.O.V.

It has been another month of living with Dad. Really, I was beginning to go crazy from all the tension here. Dad never said anything about it, but I know Charlie still is sour with me. Charlie hasn’t been around much still and when he is, he’s in a completely different side of the house from me. After Dad had spoken with Val, she let me know multiple times that she wasn’t angry with me. She told me time and time again that it was just my father she was annoyed with. She wouldn’t tell me what its about though, I guess to not let me worry.

I was beginning to think I was better off back with Mom and Aaron. At least there the people who didn’t like me flat out said it instead of avoiding me. And here I didn’t even have Autumn to turn to. I mean I could text or call her, but it wasn’t quite the same. Jimmy was an okay substitute but he was Dad’s friend and it just seemed awkward to me to talk to him about the problems in the house. The same idea applied to everyone I had met through the ‘family’.

I had told Autumn about the delimna and she suggested talking to Nikki about it. After he dropped us off, we lightly spoke through texts once in a while. I didn't want to dump all my problems on him, seeing as he had his own things to do. His phptography, writing a new album, and working on a book was a lot to do. To me it just didn't seem right to add teenaged problems to his conscious. He has his own children to deal with anyways.

I sighed, pulling myself out of my bed where I had spent most of the day so far doing nothing. I slipped my earbuds in and put my music on shuffle before placing my phone in my back pocket. As Falling In Reverse began, I left my room and headed down the stairs. Once on the first floor I walked to the game room where I knew I would find Dad playing his Call of Duty. That’s all he seemed to do on Mondays at noon. As I guessed, he was sitting on the couch with controller in hand, cursing Brian. I could only assume all the guys were playing a private match or whatever it was called. I dunno, Dad tried to give me a rundown of the game but I kept blowing up myself and any teammates near me with pathetically tossed grenades. Since it was just the guys, I didn’t feel too bad interrupting.

“Hey Dad?”

“Hold on a second guys.” He let the headset rest around his neck as he turned to smile at me. “Whatcha need sweetie?”

“I’m just going to go for a walk.”

Dad frowned at me. “If you get lost, just call, okay?”

I mentally rolled my eyes. Within the time I’ve been here I really haven’t been out much. We went to the pier a few times and I went with them to the studio a lot, but that was about all my ‘adventuring’ came down to. So I can see why Dad was worried about me but I’m a big girl, I can handle myself. “Fine. Love you.”

“Love you too.” With that I left the room and Dad went back to his video games. As soon as I stepped onto the front porch, I felt like I could breathe. I knew it was only me and Dad in there, but I felt so tense and uncomfortable knowing how many problems based around me were circling in that house. I decided to just start walking to my left, the opposite way of the Baker’s home and in the general direction of the pier.

After about twenty minutes I found myself in a huge park. We had passed it a few times going to the studio and Dad had told me it was called Central Park. All the guy used to hang out in some area around here in high school. I wasn’t too worried on finding the infamous Spot, it would probably only succeed in bringing me back to the thoughts that have been harassing me back at the house. After another five minutes I ended up coming across a small pond with ducks. I plopped down on a bank free of the creatures. Jimmy had told me about his run in with Stallion Duck and I wasn’t looking forward to possibly getting chased by the thing.

I leaned back into the grass with my eyes closed. I, for the life of me, couldn’t recall what was playing but that wasn’t entirely my fault. Zacky and Brian had taken it upon themselves to steal my phone while I was napping in the studio and add a whole shit load of music I didn’t know. I didn’t mind so much, half of it was either very relaxing or just very unique. Either way it was good music and since I haven’t heard most of it, it was kind of a surprise. Right now, though, I was luckily on one of the ‘very relaxing’ ones.

Soon I felt a presence next to me, causing me to crack my eyes open. For a moment I forgot how to breathe. Next to me, just fucking staring at me, was a huge, black Great Dane. It was massive and I felt like I was moments away from being eaten whole. “H – Hi there, Mr. Doggie.”

“God dammit Vincent! Get back here!” I looked past ‘Vincent’ to see a guy running towards us. I could feel myself begin to blush as he got closer, realizing he was very cute. He had messy brown hair with bangs that covered his forehead. He had beautiful gray eyes and had pretty nice muscles that could be seen under his wife beater. He wasn’t exactly ripped, but you could tell he had something instead of just skin and bones. “I’m sorry miss; he didn’t hurt you, did he?”

It took me a moment realize he was speaking to me. That was so cute, guys usually didn’t use the term ‘miss’ much, if at all. “N – no, I’m fine. Just surprised is all.”

He grinned, showing off the one dimple he had in his left cheek. “I’m glad. Vincent is usually pretty obedient; he wouldn’t hurt a fly, honest. But when he gets near the ducks, he’s like a kid on Christmas.”

“Well he seems sweet enough.” I sat up and scratched Vincent behind his ears. His tail instantly began to beat on the ground and his tongue lolled out of his mouth, happy panting soon joining the sound. The two of us began to laugh at his dog.

“Okay boy, you can go play.” The dog seemed to understand his owner perfectly and ran off, chasing the ducks around the pond. He plopped down next to me on the grass, intently watching his dog. It was then I realized that he wasn’t far off from my age. He was maybe seventeen or eighteen tops. And like I said, he was cute. “Oh, by the way, my name is Felix Rizzo.”

“Danielle Sanders,” I introduced, shaking his outstretched hand. Sometimes I forgot that we had legally changed my name. I keep almost slipping up and saying ‘Edwards’. I needed to remember to stop doing that. We let our arms drop to our sides again, watching Vincent playfully torment the ducks.

“I’ve never seen you around before, are you new to town?” I turned my head to see Felix smiling at me. I guess he was a talkative kind of guy. That was fine with me. It was a good way to keep my mind off other things. I pulled out the ear bud closest to him and smiled.

“Yeah. I moved from Colorado where I stayed with my mom to live with my dad and his family,” I replied.

“How are you enjoying it here?”

“I love it here, actually. It’s just some of the people I’m not happy with.”

Felix frowned, “What’s wrong?”

I paused, staring at him. He seemed like a nice enough guy. If anything, why not tell the person I didn’t know? There was a small chance I would ever see him again. Despite what it may seem, Huntington Beach was a lot bigger than people believe. “It’s my dad’s other child. His wife is angry too, but not at me.”

“They don’t pick on you or anything, do they?”

“No, it’s not that. Dad won’t admit it, but something is bugging their son. Whatever it is is upsetting his wife because its upsetting my half brother. I think it’s all centered around me, though. So as in result he tends to avoid me and not speak to me,” I replied. It fell silent for a moment and I rubbed my face with both hands. “What would your advice be?”

“To be honest, I don’t know. My parents died in a car crash when I was four so I never quite had a problem like that. I lived with my grandparents until I moved in with my friends this year. Sorry I’m not much help,” Felix chuckled.

“I’m sorry about your parents,” I said in reply. I felt bad. I had to bring up such a bad memory for him.

“It’s fine,” he shrugged off. “I can’t really remember them so I can’t really miss them. I had my Grammy and Pops instead and I was happy with it. Still am, really. They’re all I need for my parents, even if it’s a bit different from other people.”

“That’s good.” It fell silent between us again, this time it was a bit awkward.

“Actually I do have an idea,” Felix said abruptly. I jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. I hadn’t been too sure anything was going to be said from the last round of information. “Talk to them, and don’t take any bullshit.”

“Wait, what?”

Felix chuckled lightly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound so rude. Just, you need to confront them. If they won’t even get their feelings out in the open to you then you need to get them to tell you. Just talk to them straight on. I would start with your stepmom. It might be a bit easier.”

I stayed quiet for a moment, softly nodding. Felix was right. I needed to just be blunt. Oh god that was easier said than done. I feel like I can cry just at the thought of trying to speak to them. I would probably choke and die to try talking. Sweet Jesus, can Felix just do it? …Did I really just think that? Fuck me. How could I already be so dependent on this guy I just met? I have a problem, really I do.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. My friend is taking Vincent to the vet. Needs his shots done,” Felix informed apologetically. I couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed. I know I only told him what was going on because of the fact I was planning to not see him again, but he was so nice and sweet. He stopped short, biting his bottom lip for a few moments. “Would you want to trade numbers?”

“Uhm, sure.” I almost couldn’t contain myself from squealing. But luckily I kept my composure. We traded phones, programming our numbers into each other’s device. When we traded back he smiled at me again. “Talk to you later?”

“Sure. Bye Colorado.” With that he walked off, calling for the massive dog to follow him. Once they disappeared down one direction of the cement path, I fell back on the grass with a smile. I am so glad I decided to take a walk today. As my mind began to wander about Felix, my phone began to ring at an obnoxious level. Hearing the chorus for “Walk” by Pantera I couldn’t help my sigh.

Dad was calling and probably figured I was dead.

“I’m not dead yet,” I spoke as soon as I picked up the phone. It was silent on the other end of the phone. I instantly sat up, a sinking feeling in my stomach. “Dad, are you there?”

“Danielle? Do you mind staying at Johnny’s for a tonight?” Dad asked softly. He didn’t sound like himself. Something was wrong, I could tell.

“Dad, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Danielle, just do it,” Dad snapped. My eyes grew wide, pooling with tears. I had finally made him break? What did I do?

“O – okay,” I sniffled. I could hear Dad sigh on the other end of the line. I could practically see him running a hand through his short hair.

“I’m sorry sweetie; I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just – I need get some things done. Okay? I love you sweetie. I’ll have Johnny pick you up and bring you over to get some clothes. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I spoke softly. The phone’s connection suddenly ended, leaving me to hear a beeping in my ear. I slowly hung up and my music continued off from where it had paused when I gotten my call. I struggled myself to my feet, feeling extremely weak at the moment. I dialed Johnny’s number as I forced myself back the way I had come so he could pick me up by the street.

“I guess he called you?” Johnny inquired as soon as he picked up. I nodded and mentally slapped myself when I knew he couldn’t see me.

“Yeah. What’s going on Johnny?” I begged, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. Johnny sighed and I heard keys jingling, letting me know he was picking up his keys to leave.

“It’s Val. She, uh, she’s not very happy with your Dad right now. She’s going to stay at her parents’ with Charlie and your dad needs to clear his head.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it Johnny?” He was quiet on the other end of the line. I was frustrated and completely tired of everyone knowing why he hated me but I didn't. “God dammit Johnny, tell me or I will just fucking go back to Colorado. I don’t like knowing everyone is hiding something important from me!”

“Charlie is upset because he had no opinion in you moving in. He wasn’t used to the idea when you moved in and he still refuses to because no one spoke to him about it. Val is angry with Matt because Charlie is so upset. He’s going to follow them to her parents’ place to try to speak with him,” Johnny rushed out. I felt myself go numb, sinking onto the curb next to the sidewalk of the park. I pulled up my knees, resting my forehead on them.

“He does hate me,” I whispered to myself. I knew it was probably true but it didn’t feel real until someone else had told me. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest. Charlie resented me and his father. I didn’t want to ruin such a great relationship. I had just wanted a father. Guess that was too much to ask. “I’m at Central Park on the pier side.”

“I’ll be right – ”

I hung up before he could finish, placing my phone into my lap. Maybe I should go to Colorado.