My Winding Wheel

“Oh!” At the sound of a woman’s voice, Esmy groaned loudly. The woman in question began muttering, mainly to herself, “Ay dios mio! Sorry, so so sorry!”

Esmy opened her eyes, spotting the maid of the hotel standing in the doorway of her bedroom portion of her suite. She sat up, letting Josh’s arm she was unaware of before fall into her lap. Rolling her eyes at him sleeping through her movements, she turned her attention to the maid, “Senora. Esta bien! Come back later, yes?”

“Ay, yes ma’am!”

“Gracias senora.”

“De nada!” The woman nodded thankfully at Esmy, quickly exiting the room. Esmy fell back into bed, smiling to herself as Josh pulled her closer. She felt him nuzzle his nose against the back of her neck before he sighed contently, “Spanish?”

“Maid came in. I’m surprised you woke up.”

“So. Comfortable.” Josh protested, wrapping his arm around Esmy’s waist tightly. She curled up closer, not minding the cuddling at all as she was far beyond deprived of contact of that sort at that point. Josh’s grip loosened as his breathing evened again and Esmy smiled to herself, adjusting until she was comfortable. She began to doze off against just in time for her alarm to go off on her phone. As Jimmy Eat World blasted throughout the suite, Josh groaned behind her and rolled over onto his back. Esmy reached over to grab her phone from the side table, shutting the alarm off without hesitation.

She rested propped up by one arm, staring down at Josh with a small smile. Josh peaked at her with one eye, smirking up at her as he did, “Mornin’ love.”

“Good morning. We stayed up far too late for either of our benefit. I have meetings all day and you have a show to do!” Esmy sat up, stretching her arms up above her head until her back popped. She glanced over at Josh’s watchful gaze, smiling slightly at him, “I enjoyed talking to you last night. I really needed that, in person too.”

“Me too, trust me,” Josh sighed, propping himself up with one arm, “Didn’t mind the nice little cuddle either, mind you. Felt good to hold someone.”

“Felt good to be held,” Esmy laughed, standing up to make her way into the bathroom. She continued to speak to Josh from in there as she pulled her long and messy hair up into a simple bun. “My cousin is so hurt you get to see me first, I hope you realize this.”

“I know, wanker wouldn’t stop asking me about how you were doing earlier this week so I finally told him you were going to be in LA when we left San Francisco two nights ago,” Josh entered into the bathroom, grabbing one of the complementary plastic cups and filling it with water. He took a sip, swishing it around before spitting it out, “Proper riot it was watching him react to that news.”

“I can only imagine the fit he threw!” Esmy laughed, leaving the bathroom to gather her typical meeting outfit from the wardrobe the room provided for her use. She always wore it to the first meetings to make a good first impression, since it was so basic. She peaked around to the bathroom door, smiling at Josh as he moved to exit the bathroom. Darting in behind him, she closed the door and locked it with a small laugh, “I’ll only be a moment, I promise!”

“Oi! Scared the life outta me, you did. You brat.”

“Pish posh, you’ll get over it dude don’t worry,” Esmy openly laughed at him, shaking her head as she quickly changed. She pulled on the nude strapless effortlessly, zipping herself up thanks to all the practice with the dresses she wore at Peter’s company. Before pulling on the blazer, she grabbed her makeup bag off the counter and did a quick application of blush and a nice light, almost nude, eye shadow with a thin line of eyeliner. Nodding to herself, satisfied with the simple look, she pulled on the boyfriend blazer and black and white heals to complete her outfit before unlocking the door. As she pulled the door open, Josh sat up on the bed and smiled wickedly at her, “You look brilliant.”

“Thanks! It’s my go to outfit for meetings. Says basic but still fashionable thanks to these god awful Chanels!” Esmy motioned to her feet, rolling her eyes. Josh laughed openly at her, getting out of the bed and walking around it. His hair was still sticking up in all directions from his sleep, a purely awful case of bed head actually. His clothing was wrinkled and you could tell the jeans and t-shirt had been slept in, but Josh was completely comfortable. He grabbed his beanie from the floor, pulling it on over his messy and out of control hair before approaching Esmy as she gathered her iPad and “meeting bag” full of catalogs.

Josh looked her up and down once more, smiling at her as he took as step closer, “You look awfully fancy love. You sure you don’t like the expensive things?”

“You’ve only seen my good stuff because we run into each other in the business situations. I’m usually in a basic pair of old worn out blue jeans, a simple tanktop or v-neck, and a cardigan or whatever weather-appropriate cover up I can get.” Esmy shook her head, laughing as she did. She sighed to herself, looking down at her ASU sweats again, “I would live in my college sweatpants every day if I could though. So. Comfortable.”

“I agree,” Josh took a step closer again as Esmy straightened up, slinging her bag onto her shoulder. Smiling down at her, as he was a few inches taller, Josh reached over and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, “You look absolutely lovely though, honestly. You’re something special, Esmeralda Corteze.”

Esmy blushed, smiling at Josh as she looked down to her shoes, “I’m not really. You are one amazing guy though.”

“You make me completely barmy, in the best way though,” Josh placed a hand under her chin, tilting it up gently so that she was looking at him again. Esmy smiled at him and he returned it, leaning in a bit closer so that their foreheads were touching and noses were against one another’s, “You’re the type of girl I wouldn’t just want to bonk and leave. Drive me nutters with your ability to read me, but I want to talk to you for hours and just fall asleep holding ya, not shagin’ ya all the bloody time. How’d you go an do this to me hmm?”

“Josh…”

“Shh,” Josh hushed her as he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers softly. Esmy allowed him, responding a bit before quickly pulling back, shaking her head, “Josh we can’t. I can’t lose you as a friend right now, and I’m not in any state to date or care about someone else. I can’t trust myself with to be involved when I know I’ll hurt you. I can’t do that.”

“Esmy, love, you won’t.”

“You don’t know that!” Esmeralda sighed, stepping back and shaking her head, “I don’t love myself or my situation enough to allow myself to date or be involved with someone right now. Please, please don’t make this hard on me by making me want to be in some relationship that’s more than the really great friendship we’re in right now.”

“Look love, I understand. S’alright, I promise,” Josh smiled at her, stepping close and hugging her to him. He was tense until her arms wrapped around him moments later, making him nearly instantly loosen up and relax. He sighed, burying his nose in the curve of her neck, “We’ll be friends. Friends is fine. I can’t afford to lose you though. Love you as a friend, I do.”

“Josh you aren’t losing me at all,” Esmy smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple that she could get to. “If anything, I’d say we just got closer.”

“I really do hope so.”



Later that night, after all her meetings and things, Esmy showed up to the show with Annabelle. They were a bit late thanks to meetings, getting there right as There For Tomorrow started. Esmy glanced down at her outfit one last time, a basic grey cable knit sweater with blue skinny jeans and her old combat boots, before looking up at the crowd screaming for her cousin. She grabbed Annabelle’s hand, leading the shocked girl through the crowds and to the side door. Flashing their passes to security, both girls made their way backstage and up onto the side to watch Jay play. Annabelle watched in awe, the show being her first she ever attended. Esmy nodded along, knowing some of the words from having added them to her workout playlist for when she went running. She caught Jay’s eye and smiled, waving to him as he winked in her direction. Annabelle looked between them, nudging her in the side as she did, “Boyfriend?”

“Ew, gods no. Cousin!”

Annabelle blushed, laughing a little at herself as the song came to an end. Esmy felt a stronger arm than what Annabelle could have wrap around her shoulders and as she looked up, she smiled brightly up at Max. Max returned it, glancing over at Annabelle with a questioning look. Esmy leaned up and explained Annabelle real quick before the next song began and Max smiled the entire way through suspiciously. Esmy and Annabelle stayed for the entire set, even after Max said his “see you later”s and went to get ready for their own set. After the set Jay came running to Esmy, picking her up and spinning her around once he got close. She laughed at him, demanding to be put down much to Jay’s amusement. Annabelle even laughed at her expense, making Jay look over to her with an interested gaze, “You must be Annabelle. Sorry my cousin is so rude, I’m Jay.”

“She told me! You guys were amazing!” Annabelle’s thick accent caught Max’s attention near them, making him look over at the small group with a curious gaze, “Are you French by chance?”

“Oui!” Annabelle smiled at him, returning her attention to Jay and Esmy, “This is fun! I’ve never seen this music played before. Only classical shows!”

“You’ll love the next guys. It’s that band we listened to on the way to the meeting today.”

“Oh yes, they’re good indeed!” Max lit up, making Esmy laugh as she saw over Annabelle’s shoulder. Sticking his tongue out at her, Max left them to chit chat until the next set started. In the middle of their conversation, Esmy felt someone come up behind her, wrapping their familiar arms around her waist. She smiled, kissing Josh’s cheek, “Hello stranger.”

“Ello love. Who’s this bird?”

“This is Annabelle, my co-worker. Annabelle, this is my good friend Josh.”

“Il n’est pas votre copain?”

“No madame, I am not,” Josh smiled at Annabelle as she shot him a curious look, “My father is French.”

“Wonderful! I speak so little English, it’s so difficile!”

“Preach it!” Esmy raised a hand, making the three of them all begin to laugh as she did so. Josh squeezed her tightly before letting go, making his way over to the stage, “Wish me luck!”

Esmy and Annabelle watched the entire set with smiles. Josh was livelier than usual, bouncing around like someone just gave him the greatest news of his life. Esmy liked seeing him that happy, it was a good change from the usually depressed state she saw him in. After the set, Josh quickly managed to wrangle Esmy away from Annabelle to talk, as he put it. Max offered to “protect” Annabelle while they were gone and Esmy wished her luck, allowing Josh to drag her away and into the back of the venue. He led her out to the van, changing out of his sweaty shirt quickly as he rambled on about how much he loved playing California. Once he got a new shirt on, Josh turned to face Esmy with a grin, “You enjoy it?”

“The set? Absolutely. Always do. You seemed happier too.”

“You have that effect on me it seems, love.”

Esmy opened her mouth to reply, only to have her phone go off in her pocket. Rolling her eyes she pulled it out to answer, frowning at the sight of Annabelle’s name on the screen. She answered quickly, slightly frantic to do so, “Annabelle? What’s wrong?”

“No! Not wrong!” Annabelle laughed on the other end, making Esmy slightly confused, “I’m going to eat with Max and Christopher and your cousin! I’ll cab it back to the hotel, take the rental car!”

“Thanks!” Esmy hung up, glancing back at Josh’s curious gaze, “Annabelle seems to have wooed Max, Jay, and Chris. They’re all grabbing a bite with her right now so I get dibs on the rental car. Want to head back to my hotel and eat some In-N-Out and chat there instead of in a cold parking lot in downtown LA?”

“Absolutely.” It was beginning to worry Esmy how happy him wanting to hangout with her made her.