Stay

“I love you, you made me hate me. You gave me hate, see? It saved me and these tears are deadly. You feel that? I rip back every time you tried to steal that. You feel bad? You feel sad? I’m sorry hell no, fuck that. It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife it dies, this life and these lies. And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and it’s true I hurt too. Remember I loved you. I’ve lost it all fell today it’s all the same. I’m sorry, oh, I’m sorry, no. I’ve been abused I feel so used, because of you. I’m sorry, oh, I’m sorry, no. I wish I could have quit you. I wish I never missed you and told you that I loved you, every time I fucked you. The future that we both drew and all the shit we’ve been through. Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew. How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you. It never was enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck not I’m just fucked up.” – Hollywood Undead

Melody sat nervously in her dressing room as she waited to take the stage. She was about to perform at her first show ever as a real artist. She had decided to take the plunge and go from song writer to singer. With a little help from Joe she was able to be signed to Hollywood Records. She was doing a small show at a local club and only doing five songs during her set but she was still nervous. She wasn’t playing these songs in the hope that someone else would one day singe them she was playing in the hopes of gaining fans.

“Hey Mel!”

Melody smiled at the man who had just entered the room. Joe held a large bouquet of flowers which he set down on a table before hugging Melody tightly.

“Nervous?” He asked once they had pulled away.

“You have no idea.” Melody said with a loud sigh. “Where’s Karen?”

“She’s sitting down.” Joe replied. “She was complaining about her feet hurting.”

“That happens when you’re pregnant.” Melody said with a laugh. “You better get back
out there.”

“Just wanted to wish you good luck.” Joe said hugging Melody again. “You’ll do great.”

“Thanks Joe.”

Melody watched him leave and once again looked in the mirror. She was thinner then she had been, even before the pregnancy. Although she tried not to show it, she was depressed and had been since the miscarriage almost ten months ago. From what she had seen in the news Nick wasn’t doing any better.

“Melody you’re on in five.”

Melody nodded to the woman who had just opened the door. Taking a last shaky breath Melody turned away from the mirror. It was time to get on stage. She grabbed her guitar and walked towards the stage her stomach doing summersaults. After waiting a few minutes by the stage it was time to climb the two steps on to the stage.

She could see that the small club was filled and it only made her feel more self-conscious. Taking her place in front of the microphone Melody smiled at the crowed and took a deep breath.

“The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and I had it all I had him right there where I wanted him.” She sang while strumming her guitar.

She wasted no time in playing the upbeat angry song. She put everything she had into the performance.

“She came long, got him alone, let’s hear the applause. She took him faster than you could say sabotage. I never saw it coming wouldn’t have suspected it. I underestimated just who I was dealing with. She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum. She underestimated just who she was stealing from.”

It was one of Melody’s best songs and she was having a blast playing in front of the room full of people. She was able to forget what made her write the song without losing the emotion behind it. Melody enjoyed her time on stage it felt a lot different than watching someone else sing her songs.

“Thank you all for coming.” Melody said smiling wide at the crowd. “This will be my last song. It’s called Circle the Drain.”

“This is the last time you say, after the last line you break. It’s not even a holiday nothing to celebrate. You give me a hundred reasons why and say you’re really going to try. If I had a nickel for every time I’d own the bank. Thought I was the exception. I could rewrite your addiction. You could’ve been the greatest but you’d rather get wasted.”

It was easy for Joe and Karen to know who Melody kept singing about in her songs. It was a good thing Nick had stayed home instead of coming with. Nick had quit drinking and hadn’t had a drink in a month; it was something Joe was going to make sure Nick kept up with.

Joe and Karen waited for Melody outside of the club; they were going out to dinner to celebrate her performance.

“We have to tell him about these songs.” Joe said looking around the bustling street. “He’s going to hear her demo at the meeting next week.”

“Does she know he’ll be there?” Karen asked as she rubbed her protruding belly.

“I don’t think so.” Joe replied. “I haven’t been able to tell her he’s been producing again.”

“Hey guys!”

Joe turned and smiled at the petite girl walking towards him and his wife. She hugged Karen tightly before hugging Joe next.

“You were great.” Karen said excited for the younger girl. “I loved all of the songs.”

“Thank you.”

They began the short walk to a restaurant down the street. They kept the conversation on safe topics like Karen’s pregnancy and Melody’s music. It was like that during dinner as well until the last of their food was eaten, and then Joe brought up what had been on his mind.

“Have you made your demo yet?” Joe asked starting into the conversation slowly.

“Almost done just have one more song to record.” Melody said smiling. “I’ll be ready for the meeting.”

“That’s good” Joe said smiling weakly. “But there’s something you should know. There is going to be a few producers there.”

“I already knew that.” Melody said a bad feeling in her stomach.

“Right, well Nick is one of them.”

**
Nick flicked through the channels not paying attention to what was on any of them. All he could think about was seeing Melody again. It had been so long since he had seen her beautiful smile. When he quit drinking he lost a good amount of friends causing his social life to plummet. No more going out all night for Nick. It was good most of the time it gave him more time to focus on music, but at night was when the boredom would hit. Some nights he thought he might actually go insane from boredom. A lot of the time he thought about what should be happening in his life. He should be a father with a new baby to look after. He couldn’t keep himself from thinking about what could have been.
Nick still hadn’t gone in the baby room since it all happened. It was too hard for him to even think about selling everything in there. In his mind if he didn’t mess with anything he wouldn’t have to deal with losing his daughter.

It was well past midnight when his cell phone rang waking Nick from his sleep. He reached for his phone where it sat on a table next to the couch. He rarely slept in his bed anymore, mostly because he hardly ever slept, and because it didn’t feel right not having someone next to him.

“Hello?” He asked his voice groggy.

“Hey Nick mind if I come over?”

Nick looked at the clock across the room a frown on his face.

“I guess. Is something wrong?”

“We just need to talk and I don’t want to wait. I’ll be over soon.”

There was the click of the line going dead leaving Nick in silence. It probably wasn’t a good thing Joe wanted to make a late night visit.

About twenty minutes later there was a knock at his door. Nick stood from the couch and stretched trying to release some tension from his body. He opened the door and there stood a tired looking Joe. For once he wasn’t accompanied by Karen.

“Hey come in.” Nick said opening the door more allowing room for Joe to enter.

Joe waited until they were both seat in the living room. He took a deep breath then said what had to be said.

“Melody has dropped out of the meeting.” Joe said keeping his eyes down not wanting to see the look on Nick’s face.

“What? Why?” Nick asked confused and hurt.

“I told her you were going to be there and she said she couldn’t do it. I tried to reason with her, that’s where I was before I came here. I heard some of her songs Nick you wouldn’t want to hear them.”

“Are they that bad?” Nick asked quietly.

“The ones I heard were.” Joe answered honestly. “The best thing to do now is for you to
not come to the meeting. Find someone else to produce.”

Nick shook his head slowly knowing there was no one else he wanted to produce.

“I don’t want to. Please Joe try to convince her to come to the meeting.”

“If she doesn’t want you as a producer there’s nothing you can do Nick.”

“Fine, I won’t go. You can leave now.”

Joe sighed and opened his mouth to say something but knew it was best to just leave Nick alone. He was afraid his brother would turn to alcohol again if left on his own. Unfortunately for Joe that was something he really couldn’t stop without hurting Nick more.

Nick waited until Joe was gone before he got up from the couch he was on to go to a cupboard in the kitchen. Behind the boxes of food neatly stacked there sat a lone bottle of vodka just calling Nick’s name. He picked it up let it sit in his hand the weight feeling heavier than it should have. Taking the lid off Nick did something he knew he wouldn’t regret later. He poured it down the drain; and with it his problems from the past.