Crystal Ball

Janie climbed into her booster seat as I placed the last of our bags in the trunk. The trunk door closed with an air of finality. I placed my hands on my hips, looking at the packed car, watching Janie’s dark curls bounce as she bobbed her head while she played with the raggedy doll in her lap given to her by my grandmother—her great-grandmother. I smiled involuntarily at my daughter, loving how optimistic she always was. Even in the face of what was to come; though truthfully, she did not understand what lay ahead. To the four-year-old, this was simply a trip to see her Jay Jay and her uncle Justin—my father and brother respectively.

Rounding the beat up Suburban given to me by my grandparents on my eighteenth birthday, I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly before climbing into the driver’s seat. “You ready for a road trip, baby?”

“Yeah!” Janie exclaimed, nodding enthusiastically.

I smiled sadly. “Good. ‘Cause here we go,” I said under my breath, not at all ready for what lay ahead.



“Emma!” Justin exclaimed as soon as the door had opened. He engulfed me in a bone-crushing hug.

“Jus. Oh, Gosh I’ve missed you!” Pulling away, I looked him up and down, marveling in the many changes. “When did you get so tall? Aren’t you like twelve or something?” I joked.

“Funny. You know I turn eighteen next week.”

“Eighteen, right. When did my baby brother grow up on me?”

“When you were off at Mamie and Papaw’s,” he said dejectedly, a sympathetic smile working its way across his lips. There was an awkward silence as I shifted my weight from foot to foot. “Oh, wow! You talk about me growing up, when did my little niece get so big, huh?” he asked as he kneeled, his arms open wide for the girl to step into.

Janie looked at Justin and then up to me. I smiled, nodding as I said, “Go ahead.” She let go of my hand, which she had been clinging onto since the moment she jumped out of the car. She walked into her uncle’s arms, wrapping her arms around his neck as she gave him the most forceful hug her tiny frame could muster.

“What’s all the commotion?” a booming voice called from within the house. A tall figure rounded the corner. “Emma? When did you get here?”

“Just now. Justin wanted to claim first hugs, I guess.”

“He always was the selfish one,” our father joked. “So where are my hugs?”

Justin released his hold on Janie and she ran behind him and into the expectant arms of her grandfather as she squealed, “Jay Jay!”

I crossed the threshold, giving my dad a kiss on the cheeks as Janie hung from his neck. “Welcome home.” He smiled, a sight I had missed. “So, what’s the plan?” he asked once we had all settled into the living room. Justin played on the floor with Janie, who constantly asked for another ‘horsey ride’ while I tucked my legs under me on the worn, familiar coach facing my dad on the other side.

“Well,” I started, fiddling with my fingers in my lap. “I was planning on visiting with you guys for a little bit, then I need to go sign the lease for our new apartment and get the keys.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

I shook my head infinitesimally. “No, that’s okay. But I would love you guys’ help unloading the car.”

“Of course. Whatever you need, baby doll.” I could not help the smile that crept across my lips at the use of my childhood nickname.

“Thanks, Daddy.”

Justin rode shotgun in the Suburban as I drove to the apartment complex, Janie dozing off in the back seat and Dad following closely behind in his pickup truck. Pulling into the parking lot, I looked up at the building in front of us. I gulped through the tightness in my throat as I realized this would be our first place of our own—Janie and me.

“Ready?” Justin asked as he swung his door open, pulling me from my revere. I nodded, climbing out myself just as my dad did the same. “So, where do we start?”

Everyone grabbed a box—save Janie, who pulled a mini roller bag behind her—and followed me up the stairs to the grey door with a black painted 2C on the front. I pulled the new, shining silver key from my pocket and twisted it in the lock, letting out a breath as the door slowly opened inwards. I set the box I had been carrying on the floor by the door and walked into the large room that I pictured being our living space, the small kitchenette to the right.

Turning, I knelt to my daughter’s level. “What do you think, baby? This is our new home.”

She smiled, looking from blank wall to blank wall. “Where’s all the stuff?” she asked innocently.

“It’s still in the car, and we’ll have to do some shopping tomorrow. Do you like it?”

“Where’s my room?” she asked instead of answering, as she tilted her head to look down a hallway.

“Why don’t we go find out?” I offered, waiting for the small girl to take my hand. Walking down the hallway we found four closed white doors, two on each side. On the right, I opened the first, revealing a spacious bathroom with off-white features. “Here’s the bathroom,” I commented to Janie, who seemed disinterested. Turning around, I opened the door directly across. Laundry room, washer and dryer already set up. Continuing to the end of the hall, there were two more doors one across from the other. I opened the first, letting Janie run in before opening the second. “Which one do you want, baby?”

“I get to pick?” she asked, excited.

“Yes, you do. Which room do you want to be all yours?”

She ran from room to room, taking in everything about them, though they were practically identical. “This one,” she stated as she stopped inside the room to the right. “Is that okay, Momma? Can I have this one?”

I smiled. “Of course you can, baby. It’s all yours.”

After peeking in her closet and marveling at her new bedroom, we met my dad and brother back in the living room. Surprisingly, the space had been filled with boxes and what little furniture I owned. “We figured we’d finish bringing everything in while you two looked around.”

“Thanks Dad,” I said earnestly. “Thanks, Jus.”

“No problem. I need to bulk up for college football in the fall,” Justin commented with a shrug.

“Oh, gosh. You? In college? Why is that so scary to me?” I laughed, shaking my head and sharing a look with my dad.

Giving a conspiring smile in return, he changed the subject, “Well, I see you don’t have any beds yet. And I certainly don’t want you two sleeping on the floor, so why don’t you come back to the house for the night?”

“I don’t want to be a bother,” I stated, but my dad was shaking his head. “That’d be great, Dad. Thanks.”