Crystal Ball

“It’s so not fair,” I complained to Emma as we sat in the old tree house. “All Dad cares about is Charlotte. Lottie this. Lottie that. God, it’s frustrating.”

“Calm down, Alex.”

“My dad doesn’t care about anything except his little princess. Seriously, Emma, when did it become all about her? He won’t even come see us play,” I continued my rant, ignoring her attempt to defuse the tension.

“Alex, look at me,” she pleaded as she placed her hands on either side of my face. “Sure, Charlotte is Daddy’s little girl. So what. Pops loves you, too. Besides, you know I will be there. Front and center.”

I sighed under her stare, my eyes closing as the warmth from her hands brought a redness to my cheeks. “Thanks. You’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?” she quipped, a smirk on her lips.

As her hands fell from my face, so did the tension I was holding in my muscles. “You’re amazing, Emma.”

“Dude, stop it. You’ll make me blush.” She laughed as she lied down on our makeshift bed. Copying her actions, I looked up at the wooden ceiling, my head next to hers as our bodies faced opposite sides of the room. We watched the glow-in-the-dark stars that we had hung from the ceiling when we were ten as darkness fell around us. I do not know how long we laid in silence, but finally Emma turned her head slightly to face me. “Alex?” she asked in a small voice.

“Yeah.” My voice was just as small, tone matching hers.

“What was your first time like?”

“My first time?”

“You know, having sex,” she explained, her cheeks reddening.

“Oh,” I started. I turned my face to hers as I paused, thinking about that night almost a year ago. “I thought you didn’t want to know any details,” I stalled, now facing the ceiling again.

“Well, I don’t want a play by play.” She laughed uncomfortably. “I just want to know what it was like for you. I’ve heard sometimes it hurts, for girls,” she trailed off. I watched from the corner of my eye as she bit her lip.

“Maybe for girls,” I started, unsure of what to say. “I mean, Vanessa said it hurt a little when we, you know.” I shook my head slightly, clearing the images from our shared first time. “Why? What’s up with all the questions?”

Emma fiddled with her hands as they sat on her stomach. “It’s nothing,” she said, too quickly.

“What’s up, Em?”

“I was just,” she started awkwardly, her eyes carefully avoiding mine, “wondering. I…I think I might be ready to, you know, with Steve.”

I could feel myself go ridged at her words. It had nothing to do with the fact that we were talking about sex, or even Emma’s virginity, because we had had some of these discussions in the past. It was more the fact of who she was considering losing her virginity to. Steve Burr.

“Are…are you sure?” I asked lamely. Now I was the one unable to meet her eyes.

“Well, I think so. But…”

“But what?”

“I guess I’m just kind of scared, you know. I don’t know what to expect. It’s not like I have a mom to go to, or girlfriends for that matter.”

“I’m sure Vanessa wouldn’t mind talking to you about it,” I offered, unsure what else to say.

She laughed. “Yeah, right. Loch Ness and me having a conversation, without you, like that’ll ever happen.”

“What about my mom?”

“Thanks, Alex. But don’t you think that would be a little awkward?”

I shrugged, agreeing. “Well, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I just wish I could get my first time out of the way, then I wouldn’t worry too much about sleeping with Steve.” I stayed silent as I watched her think. A moment later, there was a spark in her eyes and she turned to me expectantly. “That’s it,” she exclaimed.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“I need to lose my virginity before I sleep with Steve. With someone I trust.”

“Like who?” I laughed awkwardly, uncomfortable.

She looked at me with doe eyes. “Well, I have a ton of guy friends. I’m sure Jack would be up for it,” she trailed off.

I sputtered, sitting up hastily, using my hands as support. “Jack?” I asked incredulously.

She nodded, her eyebrow furrowed. “What’s wrong with Jack?” She frowned.

“Well, nothing. But, really, you want to lose your V card to Jack?”

This time she was the one to shrug. “Unless you have any other ideas. I want it to be with someone I trust, you know. And the only person I trust more than Jack is you,” she trailed off, a glint in her eye. “Unless,” she started again, eyeing me with a smirk.

“No way, forget it.” I held my hands up in front of me. There was no way I would even consider what was running through her head.

“What? Do you not think I’m attractive?” she asked, moving to a sitting position. She wore a small pout as she stared directly at me.

“No, it’s not that. I mean, you know you’re really pretty, Em,” I sputtered.

“But you don’t think I’m attractive,” she reiterated, this time without a question in her voice.

I scooted closer to her, sitting directly in front of my best friend; I put my hand on her knee as I locked her gaze with mine. “Emma,” I sighed. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find you attractive.” I bit my lip, not wanting to say too much. “But, its just…we’re best friends, do you really want to change that?”

“So you’d consider it?” Her eyes lit up as she straightened herself out.

“I didn’t say that,” I corrected quickly, before she could formulate any type of plan.

“But you didn’t say no,” she countered. “Besides, I don’t think it would ruin our friendship, or change it. We will always be best friends, no matter what. Nothing could change that.”

I shook my head, a ghost of a smile on my lips. “Emma.”

“Alex, please?” she asked, giving me puppy dog eyes.

“Are you asking me to have sex with you?” I laughed, one eyebrow raised in amusement as I seriously considered her proposal. I would never admit it aloud, but it brought out more feelings that I knew I had to repress. I was a little too eager for her to say yes, for her to want to have sex with me. More than that, for her give me her virginity.

“Maybe.” She smirked, but I could see sadness in her eyes that she was trying to conceal.

“Emma, what am I going to do with you?” I laughed as I moved to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and leaning back. Her head fell against my chest and her fingers played absentmindedly against my shirt.

“Is that a no?” Her voice was almost inaudible as she spoke into my shirt.

I tried to calm my heartbeat, so it wouldn’t give me away. “No. It’s a ‘let’s think about it’. Okay?” I could feel her nod minutely before her eyes closed and she fell asleep, still in my arms.