Lovesick

xx. scars

“They hate me because I’m soiled,
impure; I was taken by a boy before
I was old enough…”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII remember seeing broken white
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlines, raised and sunken, in your forearms
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIItelling tales of something I didn’t ask about.

“I begged them to listen to my side
of the story but all they saw was a
whore of a daughter.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII remember your tears when we watched
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIa movie with a girl who had been
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIso violated by such an awful man.

“They thought I had started it with him,
to have…that with him, but I told him
no. I screamed it at him.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII remember you shuddering the first time
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII touched you, but when you said no and I stopped,
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIyour eyes softened with gratitude.

“He was the boy I thought I loved
and he killed my soul right through. I
trusted him and he hurt me so badly.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII remember finding you on the bathroom floor,
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIsobbing twinkly tears as the blood from a gash
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIin your arm bled onto the floor.

“I can’t even tell you how much
it destroyed me. I can’t look at men
in the same way and it’s been two years.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII remember you backing away as my
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIbrother visited me. Your eyes were that of
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIa deer caught in the headlights of a speeding car.

“Why did he hurt me, Lyssie? Why
didn’t he stop? Oh god, how could he
do that to me? Why?”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII remember you crying out as
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIyou woke from nightmares you could not
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIexplain.