The Middle

I closed my eyes and leaned into Pat as I listened to the doctor speak.

“Well, it seems that Ryan’s not responding to the treatment as well as we thought. His body is rejecting it and it seems that it’s killing the nutrients in his blood cells.”

I put my hand over my heart as I leaned more into Pat and tears welled up in my eyes. Pat lightly kissed me on the top of the head and then looked at the doctor.

“So, what exactly does that mean? Where do we go from here?”

The doctor gave Pat a stern look. “I’m sorry sir, I can only answer the questions of family members. You’re only hearing this because you’re consoling her. Normally, I would ask you to leave.”

I peeled myself away from Pat and stood in front of him, all the while glaring at the doctor.

“Look Doctor, I don’t mean to be rude, but this man is family. He’s been there for both me and Ryan through a lot. He’s allowed to hear any information on Ryan. Now please, tell us what we do now.”

The doctors sighed. “Well, Ryan’s condition is unfortunately getting worse, He…”

I cut him off. “How long?”

The doctor raised his eyebrow at me. “I don’t have all the answers right now. I’ll have to look over the results that were just taken tonight. But you, or the two of you, have a decision to make.”

I moved so I was now standing beside Pat. I grabbed his hand and looked up at him before nodding towards the doctor.

“What is it?”

The doctor looked between the two of us and began to fiddle with the paperwork in his hands before speaking.

“Well, we’re obviously going to stop the treatment that he came here for. So, you have the choice of staying here until he gets a little stronger, because frankly, over the next few days, he’ll be weak. I know he doesn’t seem it now, and that he went to the hockey game last night, but the whole thing was so sudden.”

I nodded my head. “What’s the other option?”

He sighed and put his hand on his chin. “The other option would be to take him back to Chicago.”

I felt Pat squeeze my hand. I looked up at him and I saw the he had a sparkle in his eye. I knew that he wanted nothing more than to have us back in Chicago, but I had to think about this. I had only last question for the doctor before I could let him walk away so I could think. Well, two actually.

“You said he’ll get weaker. If I choose to take us back to Chicago, will he be too weak to fly?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, yes he would. I wouldn’t trust you taking him on plane for at least a week.”

I raised my eyebrow at him as more questions came like rapid fire in my brain.

“Well, if he’d be too weak to fly, why would you give me the option of taking him back to Chicago? Obviously if he’s too weak to fly, he’d definitely be too weak to sit through an 8 hour-plus car ride.”

The doctor put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry to startle you. He may be able to fly in a couple days. Just all depends on how he’s feeling.”

I nodded. “Okay, can I think about it?”

The doctor removed his hand from my shoulder and looked over my shoulder at Pat, then back at me and smiled slightly.

“Of course, you can. Just so you know, until you decide, we’re still going to treat Ryan. I didn’t give you the options to make you think you had to decide tonight.”

I gave him a small smile. He began to walk away, but I had one last question. “Hey Doc!” He turned around, “can we see him?”

He shifted his gaze a bit before answering me. “I wouldn’t recommend it right now. But you definitely will be able to by morning.”

With that, the doctor walked away. I stepped over to the bench that Pat and I were previously sitting on before the doctors came out of Ryan’s room. I sat down and put m head in my hands. Pat sat down beside me and put his hand on my lower back.

“What you thinking about, Claire?”

I looked up at him, tears threatening to fall. “I’m thinking about how I never should’ve brought him here. If we would’ve just stayed in Chicago, none of this would’ve happened. Ryan would’ve stayed on the same path he was on back home.” I looked down at the floor, “this is all my fault. Ryan didn’t want to come here. He agreed, but I could tell in his eyes, he didn’t want to leave Chicago.”

Pat put a finger under my chin and lifted my head up. “Look at me, Claire.” I kept my gaze on the tiled floor. He said it again, only this time he whispered. “Claire. Please, look at me.”

I finally shifted my gaze and my eyes met his. He gave me a small smile.

“This is not your fault. You did what you thought was best for Ryan. You knew going into this that it might not work, but you took the chance. You also know, deep down, that Ryan knew this was the right thing to do to. You took a chance. This was a chance that doesn’t come up every day. It’s a learning experience.”

I nodded and smiled at him. “Why do you always know what to say?”

He softly chuckled. “Oh come on now, don’t get all corny on me. I’m just telling you what I know.”

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Pat’s POV

I sat on the bench with Claire. I had been trying to come up with something to say to persuade her to come back with me to Chicago. At the same time, if Ryan wasn’t better, I knew that it would selfish of me to suggest that. I could see that Claire was struggling to decide what to. She didn’t have to decide right away, but I could tell she wanted to decide as soon as possible. I didn’t mean to pry, but I had to ask.

“So, have you thought about the options?”

She nodded. “Yes, I have. I still don’t know. I know that Ryan would love to go back to Chicago, as would I, but if he’s not well enough… I can’t and won’t take that risk.”

I felt bad for bringing it up. I looked at my watch and realized it was getting late, and Claire hadn’t eaten anything for dinner.

“Okay, well let’s not think about it right now. It’s getting a little late, and you haven’t had anything for dinner. Why don’t we go down to the cafeteria?”

She let out a long sigh, but eventually nodded.

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Claire’s POV

Pat and I took the elevator down to the cafeteria. When we stepped off the elevator, a thought spurred into my mind. I grabbed Pat’s arm and he quickly spun around and looked at me.

“What is it, Claire?”

I looked at him with wide eyes, then quickly recovered. “Ummm…. Are you leaving Pittsburgh tonight?”

He stepped closer to me and shook his head. “No, I have tomorrow off. The whole team’s staying here to ‘explore Pittsburgh’.”

A frown appeared on my face, and I put my head down. “Oh. So you’ll be busy tomorrow then?”

He chuckled. “Claire, I said the team was here to explore, not that I was going with them. I’d rather be here. The team understands.”

I nodded. “Okay, well then I have a favour to ask.”

He grabbed my hands and I looked up at his face, getting lost in his icy blue orbs. His voice broke my trance. “Claire, I realize that you can’t go into Ryan’s room tonight. So before you ask, yes, you can spend the night at the hotel with me.”

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Pat’s POV …after dinner

When we finished eating, Claire went back upstairs to tell the nurses that she would be out of the hospital for the night. I sat on a bench in the lobby pondering on what I could do to make Claire’s decision easier. A part of me knew that I had no right getting involved. The doctor was right, I wasn’t family, but I wanted to do whatever I can to help. I loved Claire and Ryan as much as if they were my family. My mind went through a few more ideas, before finally landing on one possible solution.

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Claire’s POV

I went up to the desk just outside of Ryan’s room, but no nurses were there. I wanted to tell someone to phone me on my cell if anything happened overnight. I stood there and kept shifting my gaze from the desk to the door to Ryan’s room. Finally, I gave into my instincts and walked up to Ryan’s door. I knew that the doctor told me not to see him until the morning, but I had to make sure that he was alright. I opened the door and gasped at the sight in front of me.

“Oh, Ryan.” I whispered as I walked closer to his bed. I grabbed his hand and looked at all of the wires and tubes. Tears sprung into my eyes.

“Claire?”

I turned around and saw Pat. He noticed the tears in my eyes and walked up to my side.

“Claire, you know the doc told you not to come in here.”

I sighed. “I know, but no one was at the desk, and the door…. I just wanted to see that he was alright.”

Pat pulled me into him. “Come on, let’s leave a note on the desk and head to the hotel.”

I nodded and followed Pat out of Ryan’s room. As we waited for the elevator, I noticed that Pat was shifting uncomfortably on the heels of his feet.

“Okay. Tell me.”

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Pat’s POV

I didn’t think she’d notice, but then again it was Claire. She noticed everything. I sighed.

“I don’t want to intrude in your decision making?”

I looked over at her and noticed that her eyebrow was raised.

“What decision mak---. Oh! No, you wouldn’t be intruding. Believe me, I would like some advice on what you think I should do.”

I smirked. “You really want my opinion?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah sure, why not? I mean, I know you’re pulling for me to go to Chicago. Believe me, I am too, but it doesn’t seem possible. Then again, it would make Ryan very happy to be back in Chicago. Everything was happier in Chicago….”

I lightly chuckled as Claire continued rambling. I knew that this wasn’t really the best time to be chuckling, but Claire was adorable while she rambled. I walked up to her and placed a light kiss on her lips. I pulled away and saw a small smile creep on her face.

“I was rambling, wasn’t I?”

I chuckled once again. “A little bit, yeah.”

She gave me a hug and we walked into the elevator. We stood in silence for a few seconds, before she looked up at me.

“So, what were you going to say about the decision?”

I squeezed her shoulders. “Well, I asked the team if we could let you and Ryan fly back to Chicago with us. I know that you haven’t finalized your decision yet, but I know how much you want to get back to Chicago. Ryan would love it too.”

She sighed as the elevator reached the lobby. “Well, I appreciate the effort, Pat, but if Ryan’s not up to flying, we’re not going anywhere.”

I nodded. “I understand that. I just thought that if you wanted to come back, and make sure you didn’t have any layovers or anything, you had a way.”

Claire gave my hand a light squeeze. “How about I sleep on it, and ask Ryan in the morning, yeah?”

I smiled. “That’s all I ask.”