The Middle

The 24 hours following Ryan getting put in intensive care were hell for me, and most of it all came down to Pat. I didn’t know what to think about anything. I didn’t know if I was in the right state of mind. The one thing I did know, was that Pat and I were not on the same page.

Walking into the apartment after work, I realized that Pat wasn’t home. I walked over to the calendar was by the fridge and noticed that he had a game. I let out a small sigh of relief, even though I wish I could talk to him. I wasn’t sure how I would start the conversation, but the one that we had after Ryan was first placed in ICU didn’t go over very well. Pat and I sat in silence for the majority of the drive until he finally turned to me, whispering softly.

“You should’ve never come back here.”

That one line kept running through my mind. I wanted to know what he meant by it. Did he not want me here anymore? Does he blame himself for what happened to Ryan? I needed answers, but it looked as though, I’d have to wait. I didn’t have much time to sit and ponder on things as I remembered I promised Nat that I would meet her for coffee before going to see Ryan. I left the house in a hurry, knowing that Nat didn’t have a long lunch break.

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Pat’s POV

I was sitting in the locker room during the second intermission and was getting hyped up about the third period. We were winning 4-1 and I had a goal and an assist. The atmosphere in the locker room was positive, definitely something I needed as of late. I turned to Tazer, who was sitting next to me.

“So, where are we going after we win this game?”

He cocked his head and me and raised his eyebrow.

“You’re not going to go see Ryan?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t know. I mean, I want to, but it doesn’t feel the same. Things with Claire are rough.”

He shook his head and let out a dry chuckle. I raised my eyebrow at him.

“What’s that for?”

“Kaner, you’re seriously gonna throw away the bond you have with Ryan just because your relationship with his sister is sour? That’s ridiculous. Doesn’t Claire live with you?”

I nodded slowly.

“Yeah, she does. I mean, I want things to work with her, but I don’t know where to start with the conversation. We had a small fight after we brought Ryan back from Pittsburgh. For the longest time, I didn’t know what I said or did to make her mad at me, but I finally figured it out and I feel horrible. She never should’ve come back here. Ryan would’ve been much better off.”

Tazer clapped a hand on my shoulder.

“Listen dude, nothing that happens with Ryan’s health is not your fault. Now I don’t know what went down between you and Claire, but if you love her as much as you say you do, hell, as much as I know you do, you’ll do the right thing.”

I gave him a small smile and nodded. The coach came in, giving us the signal that we had to get back out on to the bench. I knew what I had to do, I just hoped it would work.

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At the hospital

I was sitting at a table in the cafeteria with Nat, discussing everything from Ryan to Pat to me finding a new place to live.

“You know you can always stay with me if you and Pat are having problems. You don’t have to keep yourself in this situation if it’s not going well.”

I smiled at Nat. She was such a good friend. She’s been there for me and Ryan in every way a nurse should be and so much more. I didn’t want to cause her any inconvenience by moving into her place, but I just might if nothing gets resolved with Pat. I didn’t like walking around the apartment feeling like I’m living with a stranger.

“I’ll see how things go.”

I looked up at the tv that was mounted on the cafeteria wall. The Hawks game was on. The third period had just started and the Hawks were up 4-1. I saw Pat on the ice and couldn’t help but let a smile creep onto my face. Nat must’ve noticed as she nudged me with her elbow.

“You know, for someone who’s fighting with him, you still got it so bad.”

I let out a soft chuckle as we both stood up from the table. We walked back to the nurses desk where Nat pulled me into a long hug.

“I’ll tell you right now; he’s not getting any better. He’s still stable, but barely. I just wanted to tell you before you walked in there on your own.”

I let out a long sigh and nodded.

“Thank you for telling me. I’m gonna head there now. Is there a time that I have to be out by?”

She shook her head.

“Normally, there would be, but for cases like Ryan’s, it’s okay if you’re here all night. You can’t sleep in the room, but someone can set you up in a guest room.”

I nodded and turned to walk down the hall.

I don’t think I’m ready for this.

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Pat’s POV

After the game, the boys and I were talking about where to go out later tonight. Tazer gave me an awkward look and I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. I didn’t want to want to go out, I wanted to go home and be with Claire. I walked out of the locker room and pulled out my phone. I knew that Claire wasn’t at work because she was out of the house most of the day. I listened to her phone ring about 10 times until I finally hung up. I was about to open the door to the locker room and walk back in when my phone began to ring. I looked down and noticed that Claire was calling me back. I didn’t hesitate on answering.

“Claire?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer earlier. No cell phones allowed in Ryan’s room.”

I sighed. I should’ve known that she would go to see Ryan and I did know that there were no cell phones allowed in ICU.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve known that you were there. I was just hoping you’d be at home.”

I heard her sigh. “Pat, my place isn’t at home. My place is here with Ryan, you know that.”

I ran my hand through my hair.

“Well, I was hoping we could talk about …well, everything.”

“I don’t know when I’ll be home, Pat. I want to stay with Ryan a while. Don’t wait up for me, go out with your team mates. Congrats on the win, by the way.”

I smiled slightly. “Thanks, will you text me when you’re on your way home? That way if I go out, I’ll leave wherever I am around the same time?”

“Yes, Pat. I can do that for you.”

“Thanks, see you tonight, then.”

I hung up from Claire with a slight smile on my face. I could go out with the guys for a bit, and fix things with Claire.

Tonight’s gonna be a good night.

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Claire’s POV

I walked back into Ryan’s room and he looked over at me with a concerned look on his face. His voice got a little weaker in the last 24 hours.

“Who was on the phone?”

I gave him a small smile.

“It was Pat.”

I saw Ryan’s eyes widen.

“Is he coming here?”

I shook my head slowly.

“No, he’s tired. He’s gonna go home and rest a bit, but I’m sure he’ll come by tomorrow, okay?”

Ryan looked me square in the eyes.

“Claire, I might not be here tomorrow.”

I walked up to his bedside and grabbed a hold of his hand. I gave it a tight squeeze as I held back the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Don’t say that, Ryan. You will be here tomorrow.” I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the forehead. I pulled away just slightly and looked into his eyes while whispering. “I’m not letting you go that easily.”

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Pat’s POV

I ended up going out with the boys. We went to Club NV and got a VIP booth. I was surprised with the number of guys that came out. Usually, well before I started hanging out with Claire, it was Tazer, Carbomb and Stalberg. But on this night, Corey, Leddy, Sharpy and Seabs also came out.

We were there for about 3 hours and I was feeling a bit tipsy. I kept looking at my phone, to see if Claire had left the hospital yet, but no messages. A waitress walked up to me and asked me if I wanted a refill on my Jack & Coke. I nodded and watched her walk away. Tazer was sitting beside me and nudged me with his elbow. I turned my head and cocked my eyebrow. He gave me a stern look.

“You really think you should have another one?”

I rolled my eyes.

“Look, I told you, I don’t have to leave until Claire tells me she’s home. I got time for another drink. You’re not my mother, man.”

He sighed and got up off the couch. He walked down to the bar, and Carbomb took his place beside me.

“You really need to stop wallowing, buddy.”

I rolled my eyes and got up off the couch. I didn’t realize just how much I drank until that point. I stumbled down the stairs to the main level of the club, despite Sharpy and Seabs trying to help me walk. I made it to the bar and sat on a stool. I wanted to come out to have fun, but since all my teammates wanted to do was remind me of how I on the brink of losing Claire, my game-plan changed a bit. That was until someone tapped me on the shoulder.

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Claire’s POV

I had stayed with Ryan later than I had expected to. I wanted to stay until he fell asleep. We had a long talk about everything. He wanted to play video games, but his hands were only strong enough to get through half of a course on Mario Kart. I felt really bad for him, but there wasn’t much else I could do but sit with him.

I didn’t text Pat when I pulled into the parking garage because I figured he was rather already at home, or too drunk to function. Either way, I knew that it was too late to talk to him. When I walked into the apartment, most of the lights were on. That told me that he was home. As I took my shoes off, I noticed he must have kicked his shoes off in a hurry, seeing as one was by the door and the other was by the couch. My gaze stayed on the couch as I looked up and my jaw dropped. I walked up to the couch and picked up what grabbed my attention. This is definitely not mine. I looked at the bra in my hand and felt the tears well up in my eyes.

I fought with the urge to go knock on his door, but I didn’t want to see if the girl who owned that bra was still with him. So I did the next best thing. I walked into my room and looked around. Sitting on my bed, I pulled out my phone. I dialed the one number of the person who could help me out right now. I waited for the person to pick up the phone. I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall as the person answered the phone.

“Claire? Is everything okay?”

I swallowed hard before I answered them.

“Nat, can I stay at your place tonight?”