The Middle

Pat’s POV

I woke up with a slight groggy feeling. I rolled over and noticed that someone else was in my bed. I smiled at the thought of it being Claire, but sitting up, my jaw dropped. That girl was not Claire. I slipped out of my bed, pulled on a pair of boxers and walked around to the other side. I began to shake the girl awake. It took a while, but she finally opened her eyes. She looked up at me and smiled.

“Mornin’ sexy.”

I felt a bitter taste climb into my throat from my stomach. I gave her a sideways smile.

“Yea…morning. Listen, you gotta leave.”

She sat up, shocked. Her jaw dropped, as did her shoulders.

“But, why? I thought maybe we could extend the fun we had last night in the shower this morning.”

She reached her arm out and tried to run her hand down my stomach. I backed away from her and put my hands out in front of me.

“Look, I’m sorry to be blunt like this, but I don’t remember a damn thing about last night, and I would really appreciate it if you’d leave.”

Her jaw clenched and her scoffed.

“Oh, I get it. Big-time hot-shot Patrick Kane can’t get any from his girl, so he’ll just stick his dick in any other girl willing just to toss them away like nobody’s business the next morning, is that it?”

I shook my head violently.

“No, that’s not it. Look, I don’t have a whole lot of time to explain. Could you just please hurry up and leave? I have someone very important to me coming home and it would not go over very well if you were here.”

She rolled her eyes and climbed out of the bed, I turned away as she slowly searched my room for her clothes. After she was fully dressed, I escorted her to the front door of my condo. She turned towards me before she left with a fire of fury in her eyes.

“I hope this girl is worth it, Kane, because you just threw away the best thing that crawled into your bed.”

I gave her a confident smile.

“Oh, believe me, she’s worth it.”

I shut my door behind the girl whose name I couldn’t even remember and leaned against the back of my door. I looked around my room and noticed something on the arm of my couch.

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Claire’s POV

I woke up on a couch and for a few seconds forgot I wasn’t at Pat’s. I sat up and glanced at my surroundings. It wasn’t until I heard a voice behind me that I remembered exactly where I was.

“Hey, sleep okay?”

I turned my head to face Nat walking over to the couch. She sat down beside me and I shrugged my shoulders.

“As okay as possible, I guess. I mean, how would you sleep after you notice that a man you’re in love with cheats on you the same night he wants to talk to you about all the problems you’ve been having? I mean, in my eyes, it tells me the problem was me. I wasn’t attractive enough for Pat, and he proved that to me last night.”

Nat sighed and looked over at me.

“Do you really know that? I mean, you never really got the chance to talk to him.”

I ran a hand through my hair.

“No, I don’t really know. I don’t know much of anything anymore when it comes to Pat. Ever since he made that comment about Jordan the night we brought Ryan back here, things have just been off. It got me thinking that maybe Ryan and I should’ve stayed in Pittsburgh. I mean, I don’t think I’d be with Jordan, not the way I want to be with pat, that is, but at least there’s a chance that Ryan would’ve been in a bit better situation. I tell you, Nat, right now, I’m terrified to go to the hospital.” I could feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes. “Ryan has been my whole life. For at least 3 years, everything in my life revolved around him. Once he goes, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Nat leaned over and wrapped her arms around me. She whispered in my ear.

“It’ll be okay, hun. I mean, I know it’s going to be hard, but you’re a strong woman. You’ll get through this. Forget about Pat right now. Right now, you want to be with Ryan and he’s your top priority. Worrying about your relationship with Pat, where it might be and if it may or may not be over, will only add to the many thoughts that are boggling your mind right now. Take each moment as it comes.”

I pulled away and looked at Nat with a small smile.

“Thanks, Nat. Are you sure you don’t mind me crashing here?”

She shook her head.

“No, not at all, I told you, you’re always welcome here.”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I stood up from the couch and walked over to the luggage bag that I had left by the door when Nat brought me here. I pulled out an outfit to where and turned towards Nat. She gave me a sideways smile and pointed to the hallway of her apartment.

“Third door on your left.”

I nodded and smiled as I began to walk in that direction. I didn’t get very far before my phone rang. I walked over to the coffee table, where I left it and looked at the caller ID. My face fell slightly and I was debating whether or not I should answer it. Nat looked over at me with a sympathetic look. She pulled my cell phone out of my hands and answered my phone.

“Hello?”

I didn’t hear what Pat had said, but I heard Nat’s side. Apparently, Pat was looking for me, thinking I never came home last night.

“She’s fine, Pat, but she doesn’t want to speak to you right now.”

I silently prayed to myself, thanking God for bringing Nat into my life. Truth is, I probably would’ve caved if Pat called. I stood about three feet away from Nat, shuffling on the balls of my feet, waiting to hear this phone call end.

“Well, maybe you should ask the lady friend you brought home last night.” Nat looked over at me with a hint of a smirk on her face. “Look, Pat, she’ll be back to pick up the rest of her things later today, alright? Have a good day. Bye.”

I could hear Pat shouting into the phone as Nat hung up on him. I stood there with my jaw dropped. She began to chuckle softly as she handed me back my phone.

“Look, I’ve dealt with a lot of friends’ breakups in my day. Now, can I trust that you won’t answer that if he calls back?”

I nodded slowly as she smiled. I turned on my heel and began to continue on my path to the washroom.

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Pat’s POV

I stared at my phone after Nat hung up on me for a good solid 30 seconds before I ran down my hallway to Claire’s bedroom. Opening her door, I noticed that some of the drawers of her closet were open. Walking into her room, I saw that she must’ve packed her bag in a hurry. Her closet looked like a hurricane went through it. I sat on her bed for a few moments and put my head in my hands. I knew that I had practice in just over an hour, but I couldn’t help but think about Claire. I left her room and walked back into my living room. I picked up the small note that she left attached to the bra she found on the couch.

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you…

I ran a hand through my hair and whispered softly to myself.

“Fuck Pat, you’ve really screwed up this time.”

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Claire’s POV

I didn’t want to go over to Pat’s today, but I knew I had to get the rest of my stuff out of his apartment. I couldn’t have any ties to him right now. I needed to focus on Ryan and my last moments with him. I was truly grateful that Nat was by my side with this whole situation. I knew that I wouldn’t have been strong enough to do this on my own.

After my shower, I noticed that Nat had changed into her work clothes.

“Going to work already?”

She shrugged her shoulders and let out a soft chuckle.

“Well, it is 10:30 already, so since I start in a half hour, yea.”

My eyes widened and I turned to find a clock on the wall. Sure enough, it was 10:30. I couldn’t believe I slept in that late. I grabbed a muffin off of the counter and turned to Nat.

“Do you mind driving me back to Pat’s? I wanna pick up my car and possibly a few things for Ryan. I think there’s a few things there he might like that I left behind.”

Nat gave me a sympathetic look.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay to stay there by yourself?”

I nodded.

“Oh yeah, I won’t be there long and besides, I think Pat’s got a practice right now anyways.”

She shrugged her shoulders and pointed to the door. We hurried out of the building to her car. If we didn’t bust our asses, Nat would be late for work and I would feel horrible. When we pulled up to Pat’s building, I noticed that his car was still there, but I didn’t let that slip to Nat. It was a possibility that Jon or one of the other guys picked him up. I got out of the car and told Nat that I’d see her at the hospital in a short while. She drove away and I made my way into the building.

Walking up to the door of Pat’s apartment, I felt my hands begin a clam up. I still wasn’t entirely positive if he was gone or not and the thought that he could be made me a tad bit nervous. I put my key into the door and I opened the door. I saw that his shoes were still by the door. I let out a long, silent breath as I slipped off my shoes and walked into “my” room. I heard the shower running, so I knew that Pat wouldn’t have a clue that I was here if I was quick enough. I rummaged through my piles of clothes, putting them in garbage bags, trying to get this done as quickly and quietly as possible.

I managed to get most of the room tidied up and my clothes were all packed. I began to look through my movies to find a few that Ryan would like. I didn’t have to work today and I had planned to call my boss and explain what was going on with Ryan in the hopes that I could get the time off until he went so I could spend as much time with him as possible. Just as I was putting the movies that I had picked out into my bag, I heard the bathroom door open. I heard Pat’s footsteps and waited until I heard his bedroom door shut before leaving. However, Pat had different plans. He walked into my room and sighed. He still hadn’t noticed me as he sighed to himself.

“She’s really not coming back.”

No matter how hard I tried to hide from him, I stood up for him to notice me. His jaw dropped when he saw me. His eyes had a glimmer of hope in them. I walked over to him with my bag slung over my shoulder.

“Pat I’m sor---“

He didn’t wait for me to finish my sentence before pulling me in for a kiss. I tried my hardest not to give in, but I couldn’t fight it. I kissed him back with everything I had in me, only to pull away seconds later. He gave me a confused look.

“What? What’s wrong?”

I shook my head.

“Pat, I can’t. I can’t do this. I’ll be back later to grab this stuff.”

He grabbed my arm before I walked by him. I turned my head to look him in the eyes. His eyes told me he was sorry for what he’d done, but we never got around to the problem that started it all. I didn’t have the time to stand around and talk in circles, acting like everything’s okay.

“Pat, I have to leave. Please, come visit Ryan if you have time.”

He let go of my arm and let my walk by. I slipped my shoes back on and left his apartment.

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Pat’s POV

I watched Claire leave my apartment, and for the most part, my life. As much as I would love to go visit Ryan, I knew that it just wouldn’t feel the same. It shouldn’t, because my relationship with Ryan has always been separate from mine and Claire’s, but I couldn’t help but feel it would.

I walked down the hallway and into my bedroom. I sat on my bed and pondered over the two options I had left.

Do I let Claire go……or do I try and win her back?

I didn’t know which option sounded better. Letting her go would allow me to put everything into hockey and not bear the chance of distraction. At the same time, having her around me felt like I had something else, someone else to live for and make happy other than myself. I liked that feeling. I missed that feeling. I didn’t know exactly what to choose, so I called up someone who could talk some sense into me. It took a few rings, but the person finally answered.

“Hello?”

“Mom, I need your advice on something.”

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Claire’s POV

When I arrived at the hospital, I walked up to the nurses’ desk, hoping to see Nat there. I wanted to tell her what happened between Pat and I. I looked behind the desk and saw that no one was there, so I began to walk towards the intensive care unit, knowing that I would at least be able to see someone I knew and get my sanity back.

Turning the corner, just before I reached Ryan’s room, I saw Nat standing with a doctor. She had a concerned look on her face. I walked up to Nat and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. She turned to look at me. Her face fell just a little bit more. The doctor turned towards me and with a sympathetic smile, he placed a hand on my shoulder before walking away. Nat looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Claire.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I didn’t want to miss saying goodbye, no matter how close it was coming. She shook her head and put a hand on my shoulder as I re-opened my eyes.

“It’s almost time, you may want to go in there and sit with him. I’ll leave you alone.”

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to fight back tears as I nodded. Nat pulled me in for a tight hug and whispered in my ear.

“If he’s coming for a visit, you better tell him to make it by tonight.”

I pulled away and nodded. I wasn’t really in the mood to phone Pat, so I just continued into Ryan’s room.

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2 hours later

I contemplated phoning Pat, telling him that Ryan was running out of time, and might not last through the night. But then, remembering that I asked him to visit him, I decided that if he really wanted to be here, he would. I didn’t have the time or the strength to leave Ryan’s room to make a phone call that might only break me a little more than Pat already has.

I sat beside Ryan’s bed holding his hand. He was trying to keep his eyes open. I ran my hand through his hair with tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

“Ry, it’s okay. Go to sleep.”

He turned his head towards me. I looked him in the eyes as he whispered to me.

“Promise me something.”

I nodded as he continued.

“Don’t forget me.”

I shook my head as I kissed the hand that I was holding.

“Never.”

He gave me a soft smile and squeezed my hand with the little strength he had left. A few moments later, he let his eyes close and I felt his grip loosen on my hand. I let the tears fall freely down my cheeks. I didn’t even hear anyone come into the room, but I felt a hand land on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Nat.

“I’m so sorry, Claire.”

I stood up and placed a soft kiss on Ryan’s forehead and whispered.

“I’ll see you again. Love you, buddy.”