Meet Me on Thames St.

**CHASE’S POV**

I woke up in the morning with biggest grin on my face. It was different than any other day. I didn’t feel that void. I had everything I needed. I had the only thing I wanted. I had her

I had Ashley for a year and half. I thought letting her go was the right thing. I spent the next two years trying to forget her. It was impossible. Now I have her, again. I’m not going to make another mistake.

She was sprawled up on my abdomen. She looked so beautiful asleep. She was so innocent and vulnerable looking. That’s when the guilt hit me.

She was hoping to get married one day. She wanted a family. She deserved the white picket fence life.

Now how could she have that with me?

I don’t think I can be that person, which she deserves.

I knew what I had to do. I was right in the beginning.

I only bring her down.

I had to end this. I had to end us. This will kill me, but I love her and it’s what is best for her.

I sat there and watched her for as long as I could. I absorbed all of her warmth now, because it would be over soon.

Less than a half hour later, she began to stir and her eyes slowly fluttered open. She smiled at me and kissed me gently.

I sat up stiff. Time to ruin my future with the only one I want.

“Is something wrong?” she questions

I took a deep breath “This is wrong” motioning between me and her

“What?”

“I don’t think this will work out. I know this can’t work out. We are too different for this to work. I think this should end here.”

“So you decide to end this now? You couldn’t have done this earlier? You make this decision after we sleep together?” She says getting angry

I stay silent.

She was right. I shouldn’t have slept with her if I knew it was a bad idea.

“Say you don’t care about me and I’ll walk. Just say it.” She urges

I could see she is trying to hide the hurt.

I do care about her. I just can’t say it. She is better off without me. If I say it, she’ll stay. I can’t be selfish.

“Ashley, this is what’s better for the both of us.” I began but she cuts me off

“Did you ever even care about me?”

I stayed silent

“Fine, it’s over before we gave this a shot. Congratulations Chase. But please, do not pin this on my well-being. The reason is you feel comfort in being alone. That way you can lock away your emotions and no one will see the pain. The loneliness will eat away at you, but you still won’t let me in. Because if that happens, you’ll have nothing to shelter yourself with, no illusion to hide the truth. You’re scared. You are scared like I always thought you were. You want me to come running after, but you’re too scared to let me stay .” She spits with venom

Her words rung true and I once again was left dumbfounded.

“Please understand I don’t want to hurt you.”

She laughs sickly “It’s a little late for that.”

“I’m not sure what to say or do…”

“How about you get out of the room, so I can change and pack my bags? Then I can leave and you’ll never have to see me again.” I could see her trying her best to hide the tears

I nodded picked up my boxers from the floor and walked out the room.

I hurt her.

That was never my intentions.

--------------

I stood there, staring at my bedroom for a long time.

Was I expecting her to appear, saying she never left? That she would never leave?

I wanted to be angry.

Angry at her for leaving. Why didn’t she fight for us?

But I knew this was my fault.

I told her I’d never leave and I did. I did it once again. But this time, I made her leave.

I would be another person on a very long list that pushed her away.
She was guarded for a reason and yet, I hurt her.

Fuck, I felt like the biggest ass hole in the world.

I sat down on the side of the bed, that she was on this morning.

It still smelled like her, and I noticed there were some things she had forgotten to take. I wanted to laugh. She was always terrible at packing and unpacking.

I then realized they were left on purpose. With the items was a note.
‘Decided not to pack these. I should have gotten rid of them two years ago. Maybe, you will find someone to give these to. Toss the picture’s if you’d like.
-A’

It was a necklace. It was a diamond studded heart that said love inside of it. There was also a ring that was engraved ‘forever and always’. I quickly realized they were familiar. I gave them to her. I spent months pay checks on this necklace and promise ring. The necklace for her birthday and the ring I gave to her at Junior Prom.

Then I saw the pictures she’d left with the jewelry.

First was our picture at junior. I looked so stiff in a tux. I always hated looking formal. I only went, because she wanted to go. She looked stunning as usual.
The next was of us the last week before I left. It was probably my favorite memory. We went to mini golf. I remember it was with her friends, Charlie and Melinda. I was never really good with Charlie, but that was one of my best nights of my life.
There she was laughing as the picture was taken. Her smile was flawless, and she looked beautiful, happy, vibrant and alive.

We both looked so happy, because we both were so happy.

It was then I realized I still loved her. I’d probably never stop loving her.

But I let her go. I let her leave.
That was enough.

I folded up the picture, put it in my pocket, and knew I had to do something.

I had it all and lost it all within an hour.