Rockstar Lost

It was now almost February and things were the same, in a way. School was slow and boring. My classes had changed to Math, Psychology, and Civics, which I absolutely hated.

Some days I would either come home pissed, frustrated, or tired from school. It was really great though when Matt would help me with some of it. As it turned out, not only is he good looking, great in bed, etc. he’s good at two of those classes I hate. Math wasn’t a problem for him and neither was civics.

I on the other hand completely bomb those subjects and couldn’t comprehend everything about them. Most times I would end up falling asleep on Matt’s shoulder while he was explaining it to me.

Our relationship wasn’t really defined as boyfriend/girlfriend. No one had officially asked the other out even though we pretty much were a couple. We lived together, we slept together, and played those roles. And to be honest, I didn’t really mind. We just are.

Today I didn’t have any classes and wasn't due at work until later so I decided it would be a good day to do laundry and pick up some groceries. Matt had volunteered to stay here and clean up around the apartment, which I was thankful for.

I was currently gathering up all the stray clothes and throwing them into the bag. I pulled off the sheets and figured they needed to be washed too.

“Hey babe?” Matt called from the kitchen.

“Yeah?” I answered, pulling the draw strings shut on the bag after I shoved the linens in.

“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind washing my shoes too? Silas’s cat hair is on them and they are starting to get a typical shoe smell as well.”

“Yeah, sure. No problem,” I said as I walked into the living room. “You know, if you wouldn’t let Silas curl up with them, you wouldn’t have that problem.”

“Well, I figured since I took his spot on the bed, it’s only fair he gets something of mine.”

I rolled my eyes and grinned. It was true. My cat loved that man. I was starting to feel a bit jealous actually.

Finding his shoes underneath the kitchen table, I picked one up and put it in a grocery bag, keeping it separate from the clothes. As I picked up the second one, I noticed some kind of writing on the inside tongue of the shoe.

I looked closer and seen the letters M.S. faded in marker across it.

“Matt, did you know about this?” I asked, curious as to why it would be there. I held up the shoe and he left the dishes, drying his hands as he took it from me. He looked at it as well and frowned.

“No, I never really noticed it before. Is it on the other one?” he asked.

“I don’t know but it doesn’t matter. What would that stand for…wait a minute. Could it be initials?” I asked getting somewhat excited.

I dunno, beats me. I suppose it might.” Matt handed the shoe back to me and returned to the sink.

“Aren’t you excited about this?” I asked, surprised he didn’t seem to care.

“Not really. It’s not like we have a full name,” he said with his back turned.

“Well, it could mean that you were right and your name is Matt. Your last name might start with an “S”. We could go down to the police station browse people who have been reported missing with those initials. You might be on there.”

“Or, I might not Riley. Maybe no one has reported me missing. And besides, I’m not going to the police,” Matt firmly stated, giving me no doubt in my mind at how stubborn he was.

“Why? I don’t get it Matt. I haven’t pushed this issue since it was first brought up but I am now. We might be onto something here and you don’t care. Every time I mention the police, you are vehemently against it. Why Matt? Did you rob a bank or something?” I yelled, losing my temper with his stubbornness.

He just stood there with anger evident on his face. I didn’t think he would hurt me but in retrospect, he could. When he finally spoke, I was taken aback and ashamed.

“No Riley, I might have robbed a million banks. I might have stolen a million cars. Hell, I could have killed a million people. But never in a million years would I thought you could think of me that way!” he said, hurt yet still mad.

He drained the sink and went to the bedroom. When he came back out, he had his hooded jacket on and his sunglasses.

“Where are you going?” I asked, my voice coming out small and apologetic.

“For a walk,” he simply stated.

“Matt, I …”

“Just leave it,” he said as I watched him walk out the door, pulling his hood up.

I sat down on the couch and felt like such a bitch. I never meant to say something like that because I knew he couldn’t remember. It was like telling a penguin to fly because it can’t fly.
I wasn’t really sure why I had gone off on him. I wasn’t really even mad.

(30 Minutes Later…)

I was lying on the bed when I heard the door shut. Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew it was Matt. I continued to lay there as I heard his footsteps come closer.

“Riley?” he asked, standing in the door way.

“Matt, I’m sorry.” I turned around and set up, looking him in the eyes. “I can understand if you’re mad at me. I just…I don’t know.”

He came over and sat down in front of me. “You’re right. I was mad, but not just with you. I’m sorry I can’t answer your question, but what I know is that I hate authority. They just piss me off for some reason.”

I chuckled at him. “I can see that,” I said, looking at him from a different set of eyes. Yep, anyone could perceive him as a bad boy.

While he was gone, I had time to think about why I blew up on him and I knew the answer.

“I shouldn’t have flown off like that. I guess it’s because I want you to remember your life. It’s essential to who we are. I promised to help you and I want to keep that promise.”

“Riley, I appreciate it. Really I do. But to be honest with you, I almost don’t care anymore. It’s been almost three months and nothing has come back to me except a few miscellaneous things, that's it. So I figure why care? If my life was so important before, I would remember more. I don’t miss what I don’t know. Plus, what if my life wasn’t so great before you found me?”

I stared at him in shock. “Matt, doesn’t it bother you that you don’t know your name? Your birthday, how old you are, where you live, etc.?”

“Yeah, but I’m not concerned with the small things. Somehow I ended up living with a very beautiful girl and fell in love with her. If she doesn’t mind, I will stay with her, get a job, and who knows what next. Besides, how many people out there are missing with the initials M.S.? There are probably tons!”

“Seriously? You’re fine with this? I don’t think it will last long before you get curious about your past and I don’t agree with how carelessly you take this situation. At the same time, I don’t want to lose you so of course you can stay with me. I do like the sound of you getting a job though.” I caved. Sue me.

“Trust me, you wouldn’t lose me,” Matt said with a goofy grin.

“Well, as great as that sounds, you don’t know that for sure.”

“I can’t think of anything that could change it,” he said with a smile.

“Oh be serious. What if we find out there’s a warrant out for your arrest, or you decide I wouldn’t fit into your former lifestyle, whatever that was?”

“Babe, calm down. I love you and nothing will change that.” He cupped my face between his two large hands and kissed me lightly.

“Alright, alright, you win. Now I need to go do laundry.”
“So are we okay?” he asked.

“You are never okay!” I laughed and ran into the living room.

( 1 Hour Later…)

The clothes and linens were finally done drying, leaving me spare time before I returned home.

I knew I shouldn’t be doing this but it was something I felt needed to be done.

Pushing the door open, I walked up to the receptionist, who like everyone else, was wearing a blue uniform.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Can I help you?” the blonde woman asked. She reminded me of Buffy Jorgenson from one of the animal cops’ shows.

“Would it be possible for me to get all the missing people reports for males in the area with the initials M.S.?” I asked.

“May I ask why?” she answered.

“It concerns a friend of mine,” I told her.

“Well, I can give you all the public files but it will take me a few minutes,” she said. “If you would just take a seat over there, I will get them for you.”

I walked over to an area where random people were sitting. Some reading a magazine while others looked anxious. I took my seat and occupied myself with a Better Homes and Gardens book.

Ten minutes later, she returned with a folder two inches thick. “Good luck,” she said before walking back to her station.

When I got back to my car, I stuck the folder in the clean laundry bag since I couldn’t openly walk in with them under my arm. Matt would freak if he found out but it was something I had to do, not only for me but for him as well, rather he cared now or not.

Even though it was a shot in the dark, I had to try.