Mistakes We Wouldn't Learn From

[Alex]

Needless to say, I wasn’t allowed near Zack for the rest of the day. We had to drive for an hour to get to Greenville, South Carolina and play our show. The show that night was more than awkward. I didn’t joke around much – I just played the songs, thanked the crowd, and got off stage. I slept in the front seat of the van that night, away from the others, because they didn’t want me in the back with them.

Now we were driving to Jacksonville, Florida. It was a seven hour drive, our longest drive of the tour so far. Rian had been driving for a while now, and it was only about 11:45 in the morning. I was sitting in the middle of the van with Jack, because he was the only person willing to sit near me. The van was completely silent except for the occasional tapping of phone keys as people were texting. The entire atmosphere was tense and it was starting to bother me.

“How much longer do we have to drive?” I complained, breaking the two-hour silence. My voice was scratchy – I hadn’t spoken at all since our show last night. No one spoke up. “Come on, I just asked a question.”

“Five more hours,” Rian replied shortly.

I sighed, leaning against the window. “So when are we stopping to get lunch?”

“You can starve,” Matt muttered, and I turned around to glare at him. He was sitting in the back with Zack. He had been just as silent as me, only speaking softly when the others asked him anything.

I sunk back into my seat, not speaking up any more. If they were going to be that mean, it was no use trying to talk. Jack spoke up a few minutes later, “I’m starving, Rian. When are we going to stop to get lunch?”

“I guess we could stop and get some food right now. Is that okay?” Rian asked, glancing back. Sure; reply to Jack, but not me. Everyone nodded, so he got off the freeway and pulled into a Subway parking lot. Everyone got out of the van, starting to head inside. I shut the van door after I got out and jogged up to them, catching up to Zack. He was a little bit behind the rest of them.

“Zack?” I said softly, tapping him on the shoulder. He took a step away from me, looking up with a glare. “Please Zack, just let me talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Zack said with a scowl, looking away and going into Subway. I bit my lip, fighting back tears. Don’t cry. This is your fault; you shouldn’t be the one crying.

I got my food silently and sat down at a booth away from the others, not wanting to ruin their fun as they talked and joked around. Zack didn’t eat much of his sub – I’m not sure if he even ate at all. He left the others after about half an hour and went back to the van. The others continued to finish eating, so I decided to get up and follow him back to the van. Zack groaned when I got in.

“What?” I asked.

“I told you that I don’t want to talk,” Zack muttered, pulling his iPod out.

“I was just wondering why you came back to the van, babe,” I told him.

“None of your business. And don’t call me babe.”

Zack put his headphones in to ignore me, so I sighed and sat back down in my seat. It was no use trying to argue with him. Rian or Matt would just find out and end up kicking my ass. I just needed to wait until he had cooled off a little, so I could talk to him.

--------------------

I woke up from a nap a few hours later, and sat up straighter as I rubbed my eyes. Fuck, I had a kink in my neck from sleeping in a weird position. I checked my phone for the time and saw that it was only three o’clock – that meant we had at least another hour of driving left. Matt had figured that we should be arriving in Jacksonville around four o’clock today. Evan was driving now, having taken over for Rian after lunch.

I stretched slightly before slouching back in my seat, glancing around. Matt and Zack were quiet in the back seat, and Jack was still quiet beside me. Rian was sitting in front of me with Grieco now, and they were whispering. Rian occasionally looked back at me as they talked, glaring at me. I scowled. What was his problem? I heard him whisper the words “Alex,” “Zack,” and “asshole” and I immediately realized that he was talking about me.

“You know, Rian, it’s generally considered to be rude to talk about people behind their back,” I spoke up, causing everyone else to look up at me except for Evan.

“It’s also generally considered rude to eavesdrop,” Rian shot back, turning in his seat so he could face me.

I shrugged, sitting up straighter, “It’s not eavesdropping if I can hear you. And I heard my name, Zack’s name, and some choice words for me, so you were obviously talking about me.”

“So what if I was?” Rian questioned.

“So, if you have something to say about me, say it to my face.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Fine. You wanna hear it? I’ll say it. You, Alex Gaskarth, are the biggest fucking asshole I’ve ever met. I’ve never met anyone who does things as stupid as you when they’re drunk. I think you deserve to have the shit beaten out of you, but I’m not allowed to do it. Hell, I hope you stay alone for the rest of your life,” he spat at me. I winced slightly. Okay, that hurt.

“Rian, that’s a little mean,” Jack spoke up, and I looked at him in surprise.

“Are you taking his side on this?” Rian demanded.

“I’m not saying what he did was good, but damn, you don’t need to be that cruel to him,” Jack defended, glancing over at me.

“I think Alex deserves the verbal abuse. I told Rian that we can’t hurt him physically, so yell at him as much as you’d like,” Matt spoke up from the back, and I frowned. My own friends hate me.

Jack shook his head, “I don’t want to sit here and listen to you guys yell at Alex the entire time we’re on tour.”

“He’s an asshole! I’d be doing the same thing to you if you did that to someone!” Rian protested.

“You would not! You’re only being this defensive and rude about it because Zack’s your best friend!” I scoffed.

“Yeah, and that just makes it ten times worse to me!”

“Guys,” Evan said from the front, but everyone ignored him.

“If you’re that pissed at me, you can fucking leave! I don’t want you here if you’re going to be a douchebag to me!” I yelled at Rian.

“I don’t think you have any right to be calling someone else a douchebag, dude,” Grieco piped up.

I looked at him and shook my head, “Seriously? You too?”

“Face it Alex, everyone in this van is pissed off at you right now. If anyone should leave, it’s you,” Rian said.

“No!”

“You guys,” Evan warned, his voice angrier now.

All of us started to speak up at once, but Zack yelled out above the rest of us, “Can I just point out that this is my van?! It’s not fucking Survivor – we’re not voting people off the island!”

“If it was, I vote Alex,” Matt scowled.

“You know what, Flyzik-” I began, but stopped as the van suddenly jerked and stopped. We all looked around and saw Evan unbuckle his seatbelt, standing up partially and turning to face us. He had pulled over to the side of the road.

“All of you need to shut the fuck up! I’m sick of the arguing! This fight doesn’t involve anyone but Zack and Alex. Leave them alone, quit whispering about them behind their backs, and let them work it out or break up. I don’t even care what they do at this point, if it stops all the fighting and tension. Quit getting involved in their business,” Evan said, glaring at us.

“Yeah, quit getting involved in our business,” I grumbled.

Evan turned to face me, pointing right at me, “No one asked for your input. You started this whole thing.”

My face flushed and I sunk back down in my seat.

“I’m going to keep driving now, and I swear to god, if I hear any more arguing, I’m going to hurt someone.” Evan sat back down in the driver’s seat and pulled back onto the road, leaving the rest of us in complete silence.