INFINITE LOVE

Infinite Love

BAYA POV
The tears streamed down her face, the first emotion I saw from her in the last years I've spent with her. She made an ugly, pitiful face while crying as if she just realized what a terrible mother she had been to me. Her only daughter, she couldn't even raise one kid? I blame her for my dysfunctional teenage life. I suppose most people would think I was some crazy teenage girl who should be locked up but it's my parents instead, my miserable awful parents.
She glanced at me from behind her tears.

"I'm sorry Baya, I'll see you soon" She cried. Making that ugly, awful face. I hated how she could cry in front of me when she hasn't noticed the tears I've cried. Of course I act like a tough bitch but I cry too. I hate her.
The anger fired through my veins, and the blood felt like it was rushing to my head. I kept my smile though, because I knew deep down I was probably just as crazy as she was. No. I wasn't, I wouldn't let myself turn into my drunken, drugged and messed up parents. There was a part of her that was healthy and normal. She used to be the caring mother most mothers should be, it was because of her we left my father.. to get out of his dangerous ways. Dads smoking, gambling and hooking up with random childish women from the streets is why we left. I loved my mom even though she acted terrible because I guess that I'd be in a worse position if I lived with dad still. I'd end up becoming as messed up as one of the hookers he was keeping for the night.

Mom turned up the radio and looked straight ahead, not saying any other word. The tears still fell from her eyes and her lips made a tight line. We head towards the airport, I was nauseous thinking about what the next chapters of my life may bring. I couldn't believe she was sending me there, I couldn't believe the Child Services is making her. Who would have thought out of all places they could send me that they would send me there. Would he be happy to see me?
I couldn't think straight, the man he became years ago is much worse now, I imagine. He'd be half naked and passed out with beer bottles around him. And I'd be standing there..awkwardly waiting for him to realize I have arrived.

We managed to get to the airport without any words spoken, she walked me hesitantly towards the entrance of the airport. The silence was killing me, it was probably killing her too. I wanted to let it all out now, just scream at her. I'd say
"Why are you sending me there? Does he know I'm going to be at his house in a few hours? How could you do this?"
But of course I wouldn't say anything like that to her. She's too fragile to even speak, too fragile to let my emotions toward her out.

"Bye mom, love you." I hugged her lightly and her tears soaked into my cardigan. I picked up my suitcases and left her behind. I was relieved but the picture of her in that big house alone scared me, though in a week she would be sent to a rehab center miles away from our lovely home in New York. I was going to miss the nights in the city. Sneaking out, and just being with my friends. I was going to die in Florida without them. Goodbye to city life and hello to the painful sun and new people. And of course, hello to Dad.