I'm Anything You Want Me To Be.

I just finished washing Jay's cut and replacing the bandage and I'm now handing him to Nick. I kiss Jay's cheek. "I'll see you later, baby."

"I don't get a kiss?" Nick frowns as I pull away.

"No, how's a handshake?" I extend my hand out to him.

He takes my hand and kisses it. "Good enough. I'll see you later at the show."

"You too." I say.

The Rocket guys have a solo show which will be followed by some hour-long intermission before a The Maine show, so they decide to go on ahead in the venue.

Kennedy asked me to stay behind because he doesn't know how to clean his cut, and he doesn't want to let Jared do it for him because he feels more comfortable with me.

Halvo, Justin and Andrew follow Nick out the bus.

I go back to the sink where John and Kennedy are waiting for me.

I decide to start on John's cut since it's smaller. I wash it and replace the bandage. Then I do Kennedy's which takes a little bit longer.

"Thanks," they both say.

I nod. "Welcome."

I'm about to go follow John and Kennedy out too when I hear Garrett's voice in a very loud whisper.

"Come on, Dani. Please talk to me."

"Come on, Garrett." Dani mocks. "Please fuck off!"

The silence takes over, and I start making my way out when I feel something being latched onto my neck.

I turn around and see Garrett with a camera. I look down at the laminate hanging around my neck now. "Why do I get a photo pass?"

"Because Dani hates me and doesn't want to go to the show, we need someone to take pictures and whoop-dee-doo, you're here." Garrett makes the sarcasm in his voice evident.

"Dani wouldn't let me borrow her camera,"

"I know." He laces the camera he was holding just now around my neck as well. "This is my camera. We'll make it work."

I look down at the camera. "You sure?"

"Yeah, you don't really have a choice, sweet-cheeks." he says as he pats my cheek lovingly. "We're all being assholes today."

I sigh and he goes off.

Everyone's out of the bus now except Dani.

I look down at Garrett's camera. It's sort of like Dani's, so I know how it works. I turn it on and take a test shot just to get it working. I took a picture of the bracelets covering my left wrist. As I go back to view the photo, I realize one of my bracelets has been stained with a red blotch.

Blood. I don't even know whose blood it is anymore. John's or Jay's or Kennedy's.

I shake my head, it's not a big deal. I delete the photo and I get to see the other shots Garrett has taken.

I can see he has some liking in photography too with his shots. He makes random things look interesting. I keep skimming through the pictures. A shoe, a cup of coffee. He must've been running out of things to take pictures of.

I'm about to turn the camera off because I should get going to the show when I stop myself because I see an unusual picture on the screen.

It's a picture of Dani in her bunk, sleeping with her curtain open. I look back at the other pictures and they're pictures from the same night probably. It's pretty dark, but I know Dani when I see her.

I don't know why this affects me, I'm pretty sure it shouldn't. I turn the camera off and walk into the bunk area to say goodbye to Dani. "Dani, Garrett asked me to take photos."

"Great." I hear her muffled reply. She's in the bottom bunk on the left side.

"We're going off to the show now. Are you going to sleep or do you have anything to keep you busy in there?"

She doesn't answer.

After what I realized last night about The Maine, how wrong I was to pin the distance between Dani and me on them, I can't hate Dani anymore.

She chose The Maine over me because they didn't let her down. They didn't keep secrets about smoking from her, and they didn't let go.

Now that I understand this, I just feel insensitive for yelling at her heroes; calling them bastards and whatnot.

But Dani's still mad at me. So I know I shouldn't pry about what's upsetting her. "Okay. We'll be at the show."

"'Kay."

She's upset, alright. It's how she only responded with a 'Kay. and how she didn't even wanna show her face.

I'll give her some space.

So I get off the bus and start walking to the venue. I take a look at Garrett's photos of Dani again as I march my way in.

I see the same kind of setting as I did the other day. Some couches, a small coffee table, a water dispenser.

Rocket have started their set, and The Maine are just chilling backstage.

Of course, Jay is with John.

I sit there on a couch next to Pat, just taking random pictures without really being focused.

Then Pat speaks up. "Why are you taking pictures of Jay and John?"

I pull myself away from the eyepiece and look at Pat. Is that what I've been doing?

I start looking through the gallery and realize I took way too many pictures of John and Jay. "No reason." I answer Pat. "Just trying to get the hang of Garrett's cam,"

He nods.

I look at the clock I glanced at upon entering the room and realize it's already been an hour and a half since I sat down. I decide to delete the photos but as I look at each one, I can't help noticing the way Jay's smiling, that grin, those smirks that matched John's.

How long are people not going to suspect that Jay isn't my little brother? It wasn't even my idea, it was Pat's, and I think it's stupid now because Jay almost looks nothing like me.

Jay's a three-year-old John O'Callaghan, for crying out loud. And Kennedy said his eyes are a dead giveaway.

Who wouldn't be smart enough to figure it out?

I don't realize Pat has already left until someone plunks down next to me.

"Hey, Iann."

"Nick." I turn the camera off.

"What are you up to?" he asks after he coughs.

"Getting the hang of Garrett's cam," I repeat.

"What are you doing with Garrett's camera?" He's curious.

"I just told you, Nick." I put the camera down and shift to face him. "Plus, Dani sort of blew it off so I'm shooting for The Maine today,"

"Fabulous." Nick rasps and gets up. "I'm going back to the bus now."

"Why?"

"I'm sleepy." He shrugs. "Later."

I'm pretty sure he's not sleepy. Tired, maybe. But sleepy? No way.

Is he avoiding me?

I don't have time to think of this as Pat tells me to eat something. He hands me a sandwich he packed from the bus and makes sure I eat it. I don't know what's up with him, but I don't argue. I haven't had breakfast yet.

The rest of A Rocket To The Moon follows Nick and takes Jay with them.

For some reason, it takes me almost an hour to finish picking at my sandwich and stuffing my mouth. I also delete some pictures of John and Jay.

When I finally finish eating, it's time for The Maine's show.

Pat's drumming his sticks on the table, then he gets up and starts drumming on his legs.

The rest of them circle around and they start chanting. "We like to party. We like, we like to party. We like to party, we like, we like to party," and they go on for a while.

Then John quiets them down. "Who's this one for?"

"This one," Kennedy looks back as if he knows he's gonna see me here. And he does. He smiles at me. "This one is for our new bus-mates. Dani, Jay, and Iann. Especially Iann."

I blush at how flattering it is to have Kennedy say that, and to have nobody object. They finish their huddle session and make last-minute preparations before they go on stage.

I'm told to get to the part beyond the barricade in the venue because I have a photo pass and The Maine starts their show.

They play a couple of songs and then they start talking to the crowd.

John looks at Kennedy while he pulls the microphone to his mouth. "Kenny, I think we should play something everyone knows."

"What's a song everyone knows?" Kennedy asks the crowd.

"Daisy!"

Garrett makes a face. "Daisy? Err, let's play something more recent, or decent.. Something.. Err, not about a flower."

"You wanna play a song about?" John asks Garrett.

"A girl." He answers.

"Well, guys," John turns to the crowd. "What's a good song about a girl?"

"Right Girl!" A bunch of them yell.

"What's that? I can't hear you." John jokes.

"Right Girl!" they scream anyway.

And they cater to the crowd's whim.

So they play this song.

And I know it's not just me, because John looks me straight in the eye when those lines glide off his mouth and blare around the entire room.

I don't make anything of it until they finish and Kennedy makes eye-contact with me.

His eyes say "It makes sense now." I'm so sure that's what his eyes say.

But I don't understand. What makes sense?

This bothers me for the rest of the show.

I take pictures every once in a while, but I spend most of the time I'm here to enjoy.

I feel so weightless right now.

I don't know these songs, but hearing them for the first time live gives me some sort of comfort.

It's a really hard feeling to describe. It's some comforting weightless feeling that counters nostalgia. The bad kind of nostalgia.

But this feeling feels so alien to me. I've never felt this before. And it only sinks in to me that Dani did need The Maine. And so did I, but I never let them in.

After the show, I make my way backstage.

Kennedy, tired from the show and all, grabs my wrist. "It makes sense now." he whispers repeating what his eyes have told me.

"What makes sense?" I whisper back.

He looks around and makes sure no one is in hearing range of what he's about to say. "Iann, you're John's Right Girl."