Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Heart... In Pieces

When I got home it had to be around midnight. Layla stayed in New York but would come home fourth of July like we planned. All I wanted to do was see Deb.

Deb was there for me with anything and whenever I needed to get out of my house, her door was always open to me no matter what. She is a part of my family. Her and my mother became best friends not too long after Justin and I, but my mother and Deb did almost everything together.

“Honey, get some sleep,” My dad put his hand on back and I knew he was right. My mother was already locked up in her room and I knew I wouldn’t see her until the morning.

Being in my room was so weird because of all the memories that play back as soon as I enter.

Most memories were from the summer before we left.

<b>-memory-</b>

“Come on you know you like it,” Justin said to me as he danced to one of the CD’s I had playing, I’m pretty sure it was the spice girls he found at the bottom of my drawer.

We were both drunk and decided to have a sleep over. But Justin had to stop drinking because he fell over into the spot right next to me on my bed. I couldn’t stop laughing.

“Hey! Don’t laugh at me!” He said as he leaned up against the headboard and rubbed his head in the spot he hit it.

“Poor baby,” I grabbed his head and kissed the spot.

“I hit these too!” He said as he pointed to his lips.

“I’m not kissing you!” I said and I giggled.

“I know you want to,” His whispered in my ear and his breath was hot in my ear and made me shudder. Before I knew it he put his hand on the side of my face and turned it and kissed me.

It was the best feeling in the world.

That was the first night I ever kissed Justin. The first night to a secret summer romance that ruined our friendship before we left…

-end of memory-

Those are the reasons we don’t talk as much… the things we act like never even happened…

~*~

The next morning my mother was at the breakfast table sipping her coffee like it was a normal day. Once she looked up and saw me, she gave me a half smile and I walked over and kissed her.

“I’m going to see Deb,” I told her and she nodded and rubbed her hand on my cheek in a comforting way.

I left the house and got into my car and drove in the direction of Justin’s house. Normally I’d walk and enjoy the light summer sun but I needed to get there as soon as possible. I passed my old town, looking so familiar to me but feeling so strange to my eyes.

When I parked my car I didn’t know what I would do but I got out and headed to the door.

Do I knock? Or just walk in like I used to?

I knocked and Justin’s dad, Mark, answered the door looking exhausted.

“Why on Earth did you knock, kid?” He asked me.

He’s always called me kid since I could remember. I think it was because he forgot my name a lot at first.

“I don’t know,” I shook my head and laughed, then I walked in.

“She’s been dying to see you,” He told me as we walked down the hallway.

Dying to see me…. She was dying.

“Dad, who was at the d-“ Justin yelled until he rounded the corner and saw me.

He pulled me into a tight hug and didn’t let go.

“I’ll let you two talk…” His dad said as he walked into Deb’s room.

“I missed you,” I said as he took a deep breath and pulled back and looked at me.

It’s been a year since we saw each other.

“You need to eat, you are really thin,” He said looking at me.

Now he had a stubbly beard growing in and his hair looked as if he ran his hands through it a million times like he always did when he was stressed out.

“You haven’t seen me in a year and you say I need to eat?” I asked him laughing a bit.

“Well you could eat with me now cause I’m hungry and my dad didn’t want to grab breakfast with me… wants to stay with mom.”

Before I could answer Justin’s dad came out of the room and told us she was asleep. So I agreed to go get breakfast with him.

At the small waffle house in town, Justin and I sat there like nothing happened between us and we were just two people having a casual breakfast.

“So I heard you’ve gotten a lot of job offers?” I said as we waited for our food.

“Yea, not sure which I’m going to choose those…”

“You’ll pick the right one,” I assured him and he smiled at me.

“How’s New York been?” He asked me.

“It’s New York…” I shrugged as our food got delivered to our table.

After a few minutes of silently eating he finally spoke.

“I’m really glad you’re home because I wanted to tell you something,” He said and his voice seemed a little shaky.

I raised my eyebrows.

“Well, I’ve been dating this girl, her name is Missy, and well I just asked her to marry me.”

My heart rose in my throat and the room felt like it was a million degrees. This was the first time I was hearing about this <i> Missy </I>

“What did she say?” I cleared my throat.

“She said yes and we are getting married in three weeks.”

“Excuse me,” I said to him as I rose from the booth to find the bathroom, I practically sprinted there colliding with a server carrying a packed tray, which came toppling down all over me as I hit my head on the hard tile floor.

Then I blacked out.