Famous Most Wanted

Johnny's eyes crept open the following morning to find Taylor sat at the bottom of his bed. He yawned tiredly and squinted at her through the sleep in his eyes.

'Bet the internet forums are going ballistic this morning,' she smiled sheepishly. She didn't want to feel awkward with him after the day before. She just wasn't sure whether he'd feel awkward.

'Huh?' he sniffed, sitting up and rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm.

'It's your birthday, right?'

'Oh, yeah. Guess it is,' he nodded.

'24,' she mused, before adding, 'Happy Birthday Johnny.' He smiled sleepily and held open an arm.

'C'mere, you. Where's my birthday cuddle?' Taylor obeyed, deciding to give Johnny the chance to prove he could make her happy. Truth was, she had given up denying Johnny a long time ago. Why fight it any longer? They both wanted it. Taylor just figured the contact and the warmth meant more to her than it did him.
She crawled up the bed and into Johnny's outstretched arm. He pulled the covers over her and scooted closer to her. Taylor was happy for him to. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, opening her mouth to speak.

'I know, I know,' Johnny cut in. 'We shouldn't be in bed together, we shouldn't be doing this, it's unprofessional, blah, blah, blah.'

'Actually,' Taylor began. 'I was going to ask how you normally spend your birthday.' Johnny smirked, and pulled Taylor tighter to him. 'But now that you mention it . . .' she continued with a smile. Johnny smiled back. 'So how do you spend your birthday?'
Johnny shrugged. 'It normally begins with alcohol and ends with alcohol.' Taylor nodded and thought for a moment.

'Has it been hard for you?' she asked. 'Not being able to drink?'

'Not as hard as I thought it would be,' Johnny said, thinking about it. 'But yeah, it's been tough. Think I've done well though, considering.'

'You've done very well,' agreed Taylor. 'Maybe I'll go to the shops today, buy you a present.' Johnny smirked down at her.

'Or maybe you could give me a present right now.' Taylor rolled her eyes.

'I'm going to pretend you never suggested that. Jeez, Vinny would have a fit if he saw us now.'

'Tex, Please don't mention other men while you're in bed with me,' frowned Johnny in annoyance.

'Why?' smirked Taylor wryly. 'Not the jealous type, are you?' Johnny merely grunted in response. 'Ha!' Taylor gloated, sitting up and looking down at Johnny. 'You are! You are so jealous of Vinny.'

'I ain't jealous of that twat,' objected Johnny. 'I just don't like him moving in on my territory, trying to steal my girl.'

'I'm not your girl, Johnny,' scoffed Taylor.

'Yeah you are,' he smiled tiredly again. 'After all, you're in my bed, not his.'

'Then maybe I'll get out your bed,' she suggested nonchalantly.

'We both know you're not going to do that,' Johnny said, yawning and folding an arm under his head.

'And why not?'

Johnny flashed her that crooked smile of his and his eyes shone. 'Cause I'm Johnny Carolina, and I want you in my bed.' Taylor watched him a moment. He was arrogant, but also absolutely right. How could any woman deny herself the privilege of being wanted by the hottest rock star in the world? She was now just one of thousands who had fallen for him.
With a sigh of defeat and acceptance, Taylor settled back down beside Johnny, and his arm closed around her once again. Right now, she was where all those thousands of women wanted to be, and she didn't want to be anywhere else.

***

Johnny was sat in the living room, strumming his guitar when Taylor came out her room, pulling on a denim jacket. Johnny grinned at her and took the fag from his mouth.

'Bet you could rock a biker jacker easy. Where you going?' he said.

'Nipping to the shop. Want anything?'

'More ciggys and a pack of Quavers,' Johnny sniffed, putting the cigarette back to his lips. Taylor raised her eyebrows.

'I'll see what I can do.' She left and Johnny carried on with his guitar, strumming harder and louder now he was alone. He missed having the freedom to do what ever the hell he wanted.

He worked through various chord patterns before changing them all to minors. He hadn't written a minor song in a while. Minor chords where considered sad chords and majors were happy. And, according to his record label, happy songs sold. They told him, kids like tunes they can jump about to. Johnny wasn't so sure. There were only so many feel good lyrics inside him, that's why you have to even out the happy with the sad. And if kids didn't like slow songs, then they were about to. The song Johnny had been working on, he'd written for Taylor, and he was damned if the producers were going to quicken the tempo.

This was a song he actually believed in. This one came from deeper than the others. This one he really felt with a dull ache from inside him. Johnny felt all his songs, but this one was different, and he couldn't put his finger on why.
Johnny glanced over the scribbled lyrics and bit the inside of his cheek as he thought, rereading them over and over.

“I'll sing your favourite song to you, I'll play you Iggy Pop.
Cause you're my Purple Rain, my Passenger at every stop.
You tell me that I'm difficult with you hands upon my chest,
Cause, baby, without you I'm just a nobody at best.”

Maybe, he considered, he felt them more because these words weren't creative improvisation, they were memories. He'd never written a song based directly on true events in his life. It gave song writing a whole new meaning to him and he felt inspired by it. It made him think about his life and how much lyrical inspiration was already there. It had always seemed far too personal to Johnny, to write a song about his fatherless childhood, or his drug addiction, or his teen dreams to try and be more than anyone ever expected him to be.

It was too personal and also too painful to share with the world his struggle through school, teachers disregarding his ADHD as simply bad behaviour, punishing him for a disorder he had no control of until the age of 17. This in turn caused no end of problems at school. He got in fights with students, teachers, other kids parents. They just didn't understand back then. They didn't get that he couldn't help it, that he was literally born that way. And so Johnny was dubbed an instant troublemaker among everyone.

But as Johnny thought about it, he realised that there are others out there who have gone, and currently are going, through the exact same things. Maybe not all of them - probably not all of them - but definitely at least the fatherless childhood one. So many parents divorced nowadays. Maybe Johnny could do a decent thing and reach out to these kids through his music? Tell them it's okay to be scared, show them that you pull out of it and it makes you so much stronger. He could use himself as an example. He could prove he's only human and maybe bring a little comfort to these kids who are suffering, because he's suffered it too.

Johnny decided it was time to stop being a coward to his own past and release his creativity. He decided he could do anything he wanted, musically, and get away with it. He could recreate himself and change the sound of State-Side forever.
But for now, he just wanted to finish Taylor's song. He read through the next verse and the chorus.

“I'm your walking contradiction, you're my breathing reality check,
And you stand in front of me despite the target on my head.
You'll never understand how much you truly mean to me.
My life is caged but being with you makes me feel like am I free.

Tell me no just one more time.
Can't you see I need to make you mine?
I'll leave my life and fame behind.
I'll be good to you, I promise.

Let me prove I'm what you need.
Wont you let me prove I'm what you need?
We'll leave this life and take the lead.
I'm good for you, I promise.”

That may have been the only part of the song he wasn't totally convinced with. He didn't believe he was good for Taylor, but he believed he could try to be. He knew that he wanted to be good for her. But wanting to be something isn't the same as actually being it. It frustrated Johnny to know that he could never be good for her. You can't change human nature. He carried on reading, the song conjuring so many different emotions in him, namely annoyance, that he lost count of them all. This, he realised, was how a song was supposed to make you feel.

“Deny yourself what you really want, but I know the truth, my dear.
I can see it in Your eyes, Texas is nice this time of year.
Lets run away, they'll never know. They think we already have.
We'll be happy, it's true. We'll live in peace. I promise you'll be glad.

As I write these words on a scrap of paper on the back of my guitar.
I know we'll never be happier than right now as we are.
You're the only girl I know who doesn't treat me like a star.
We'll drive to the middle of nowhere, and then we'll ditch the car.”

The song was Taylor, a lyrical version of her, and he'd create a musical one too. Johnny knew she deserved better than him, but he was selfish enough to not want her to have better. He wanted her to want him, the way he wanted her. It drove him crazy the way he thought about her. He didn't even love her and she was always there in his thoughts somewhere. He couldn't stand how he could get so worked up over a woman, how one could hold so much power over him. He was Johnny Carolina. He held all the cards and he always got what he wanted.

But Taylor had the strength to say the word no, and this was why he respected her so much.

***

Taylor stood awkwardly in front of the magazines and newspapers. She figured any one of them, if any at all, could have written an article on the latest tidbit of Johnny Carolina gossip. What she was concerned about was whether anything was mentioned about her. Surely the owners of the Welsh cottage would have seen the guest book? Did they know of Johnny Carolina? Were they fans? Did they know his hand writing or his signature? Would they realise that the dates of arrival and date of departure were the same as the date that Johnny disappeared? Would they even put two and two together?
So many questions and wonders and worries circled through Taylor's mind as she stared at the daunting rack of newspapers. News as big as that would most likely be in a national paper. She picked up a copy of The Weekly Word from the front and noticed Johnny's name on a hidden copy of the Express Times behind it. It was the last one. Were they really sold out already?
Everyone wanted a piece of Johnny, however trivial that piece was.
She replaced The Weekly Word with the Express Times and read the bold headline on the front.



Taylor scanned the article quickly.

For two months the world has been asking “Where is Johnny Carolina?” It now appears evident that the British rock star has been spending his time in Wales. Welsh holiday cottage owners have discovered that they have been unknowingly renting their cottage to Carolina and one other. Apparently the cottage's guest book was signed before he left 3 days ago. The given date of arrival at the cottage is the 23rd March, 5 days before Carolina's manager, Kevin McKell, released a press statement, indicating they knew of his disappearance for five days prior to telling the public. We are still waiting for confirmation that the handwriting and signature in the guest book are actually Carolina's. It is still unknown who shared the cottage with Johnny for two months. The only name given in the guest book was “Taylor”. Where Johnny Carolina is now is unknown. The message written in the guest book goes as follows:

Taylor smiled as she read it, memories of her time there flooding back to her.

“Never thought I'd enjoy this as much as I have. But we've had a great time here. The view at the top of the mountain is spectacular and the fresh air is an instant cure for hangovers. Waterfall on the other side of the mountain's great too. Just goes to show you can make the best of any sh***y situation if you got the right company. Hope to be back one day.
Johnny and Taylor.”

Taylor shut the newspaper with a smile. That was all she needed to know. The papers didn't know who she was. She could walk freely. Last thing she wanted was to go into hiding with Johnny.

As Taylor returned home with a shopping bag, she found Johnny in the neighbouring flat, door wide open.

'What the hell are you doing in here? You know you're not supposed to leave the flat,' she frowned, her scolding voice echoing off the plasterboard of the plain white, empty flat. Johnny was stood staring out the long windows at London below.

'I've had an epiphany,' he claimed.

'A proper epiphany?' she wondered, unsure. 'That's not a fancy name to some new drug, is it?'

'Of course not,' said Johnny, turning around to look at her. 'Where would I get drugs here? No,' he continued. 'A proper epiphany. I'm going to write meaningful songs. Songs that matter to me, which will then matter to the listeners.'

'Meaningful in what way?' Taylor asked, shifting the plastic bag to her other hand and then brushing the hair from her face.

'Songs about things that have actually happened to me, in my life.'

'What did you write about before then?' Taylor wondered.

'Drink, parties, girls, rock and roll, anarchy,' he shrugged. 'I want to go deeper inside myself and write about that. I want people to see that part of me. I want people to know I understand.'

'Where has this come from?' Taylor frowned. Johnny shrugged again.

'I wrote you a song and it felt good so now I want to write more songs that actually mean something to me.'

'Wait, whoa, whoa,' Taylor laughed. 'You wrote me a song?' she raised a questioning eyebrow. Johnny looked at her, seriously, and nodded. Taylor lost her amusement.

'Really?' Again, Johnny nodded. 'Can I hear it?' she asked sheepishly.

'Still working on the chords, but, yeah, when it's done, sure.' Taylor nodded, not knowing where to take the conversation then.

'Get my Quavers and fags?' Johnny asked, looking down at Taylor's shopping bag. She smiled and nodded, reaching into the bag and pulling out his requested items.

'Nice one. I really crave a Quaver.'

'Try saying that when you're drunk,' Taylor laughed. That was when Johnny noticed the bottles of tequila and JD in the bag.

'I'll give it a damn good try,' He smirked.

***

Taylor felt the throbbing in her head before she'd even opened her eyes. Wow, she really drank too much last night. But it was Johnny's birthday, she felt obligated to drink with him. Taylor tried to open her eyes but that made her head worse. She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't remember a thing. Wow, she really had drank too much last night.

Taylor snuggled further into her pillow, pulling the sheets tight against her naked body.
She cracked an eye open, despite the pain. That wasn't right. She didn't sleep naked. She glanced around the bedroom that wasn't hers and cold realisation plummeted in her stomach. Sitting up slowly, holding the sheets to her fiercely, Taylor glanced down at the peaceful, slumbering, god-like body beside her. Taylor raised a hand to her mouth in shock.
She'd done it. She'd given in to him, and it had only taken a bottle of tequila to convince her. Taylor pulled her knees to her chest and held them tight. What happened now? Now she'd slept with her assignment?

'Oh god,' she groaned quietly in to her knees. She couldn't say she felt any feelings of regret or guilt at what she had clearly done, she just knew this would seriously complicate things.

Taylor looked at Johnny again, watching the soft rise and fall of his chest. Above all else, she was pissed off. She, average nobody, had slept with Johnny Carolina, rock superstar, and she couldn't even remember it. She suspected it was nothing less than magnificent though.
A frown creased her forehead as worry crept in. If Vinny found out, he would surely report her to Norris. She'd be taken off the assignment and she wouldn't see Johnny again. Much like the rest of the world, she would be in the dark as to his whereabouts, not even knowing if he were alive.

Taylor couldn't think of that, and she wouldn't right now. Now she just wanted to lay beside Johnny and silently accept that she was falling for him.

Johnny stirred and heaved a sigh as Taylor pressed herself to his side. His arm slid around her and she smiled. Johnny cracked an eye open and smiled too. He shut it again and pulled Taylor against him tighter.

'You're still here,' his rough, tired voice was laced with vague surprise.

'Why wouldn't I be?' she asked, resting her head on his chest.

'No reason,' he muttered as he began to doze again. Taylor knew why he was surprised. It was because he was normally in her position. The one to be desired, taken to someone else's room, giving him licence to leave before they wake up. Taylor had no doubt in her mind that Johnny had had an abundance of one night stands, leaving a trail of broken hearted girls in his wake like breadcrumbs in the woods. He had a way with women. There was no way it couldn't be personal. He got under your skin and into your heart and falling in love with him was inevitable, expected.

Taylor's eyes snapped open. Love. Was it really love? Did she honestly love Johnny? She didn't know about that, but she knew she certainly cared a lot about him and letting him go was going to be tough. She'd become just another broken hearted girl in his wake, and she needed to accept that.