Manage Me

I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face as I closed the curtains and followed after Kade. Being around Jack just made me feel full of light and glowy. It was silly really, the way I acted like a love struck school girl, but I couldn’t help it. Kade called for me and I quickly shook my head to clear the daze before making my way into the bathroom to wash the chlorine from Kade’s skin and hair. After he was clean and dressed, I set him up on the bed with a movie and washed myself off. Once I was finished, I made my way out of the steamy room to find Kade nearly asleep. A wave of exhaustion suddenly hit me as well and even though I had a long list of other things I should have been doing, I crawled in next to him instead, pulling his small body close to mine. He snuggled into my arms, his sweet scent washing over me. He had his thumb firmly stuck in between his lips as he watched Lighting McQueen and Mater tip tractors like I used to tip cows. It wasn’t long until his eyelids were closing and he was snoring softly. I brushed a stray hair off of his forehead before allowing my own eyes to slip shut as well, the sound of Kade’s soft breathing and Cars lulling me to sleep.

I woke up nearly three and a half hours later to an empty bed which immediately sent me into a panic. I shot up, my eyes darting around just in case Kade was actually hiding around here somewhere and I had just missed him at first. But he was nowhere to be seen and I was out of the pool house in three seconds flat.

“Jack!” I called out as I sprinted through the back door. “Have you seen…”

I stopped short at the sight in front of me. Jack was sitting in the middle of the living room, surrounded by a train set. He was frozen with his arms up, a goofy scowl on his face. He dropped his arms straight away when he saw me, a grin replacing his previous expression. And sitting next to him, clapping his hands and giggling so hard his face was red, was my little blonde haired son. He looked up and saw me as well, his eyes lighting up.

“What’s going on here?” I asked, a smile in my voice.

“JackJack and I are playing trains and JackJack’s a giant monster!” Kade cried gleefully.

“Oh is he now?”

“I am.” Jack answered. “And I’m the scariest monster ever, right Kade?” Kade nodded his head reverently.

“I dunno, JackJack doesn’t seem very scary if you ask me.” I teased.

Jack’s mouth popped open in fake shock before he looked over at Kade who had started giggling slightly again.

“Should I show My just how scary I am?”

Kade nodded again, laughing too much to speak. Before I could blink, Jack had launched himself off of the ground with a growl. I shrieked, turning on my heel in an attempted to run away. It was useless of course, Jack had almost a foot on me and his arms caught me around my waist easily. He somehow managed to bring me to the ground in what probably looked like a tackle but was in fact extremely gentle. His long fingers began tickling my sides, and I withered underneath him, screaming with laughter.

“Don’t worry, My, I’ll save you!” Kade yelled, climbing on top of Jack’s back.

“Oh no!” Jack cried. “The Kademeister got me!”

He rolled over, transferring Kade from his back to his chest along the way. With a dramatic huff, Jack threw his arms to the sides, closing his eyes and letting his tongue loll out of his mouth. I stood and lifted Kade off of the motionless guitarist.

“Good job, Kangaroo! You saved me!” I gave him a high-five and kissed his cheek before setting him back down.

Kade quickly went back to his train set. I watched him play with a soft smile on my face. Warm arms suddenly wound around my waist, causing me to jump slightly. I tilted my head and was greeted with Jack’s lips on mine. He kept the kiss soft and sweet, fully aware of how close Kade was to us. I turned, resting my hands on Jack’s shoulders as I gazed up at him.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” It was the question I had been wanting an answer to ever since I caught the boys playing inside the house. He shrugged, placing a quick kiss to my forehead.

“You were tired and you deserved to sleep.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I wanted to. I needed to have some bonding time with the munchkin anyway.” His smile and words sent a funny feeling of warmth through my chest, shocking me into momentary silence.

“You’re kind of perfect, you know that?” I finally managed.

“That’s what all the websites say.” He grinned cheekily.

I let out a giggle and pushed against his shoulder. His grip on me tightened, pulling me close once more. I looked into his eyes to see them burning with an intense emotion I couldn’t quite identify.

“They’re wrong though. And so are you.” He whispered, dipping his head down so that our foreheads touched. “You are the perfect one. Not me.”

“Corny.” My giggle was slightly off and this time I managed to push my way out of his grasp.

“You love it.”

I stuck my tongue out at him and then hurried into the kitchen to begin making dinner. I had no idea why but my heart was suddenly pounding, an uncomfortable heat spreading throughout my body. I didn’t know why I was suddenly feeling like this. Jack had said similar things many times before, but they’d never affected me like this. I braced myself against the counter, taking a few deep breaths to calm my shaking knees. Large hands came out of nowhere to rest on top of my own. I jumped at the contact, nearly knocking Jack’s chin with the back of my head.

“Hey, are you okay?” He murmured into my ear, nuzzling his slightly stubbly cheek into my neck.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I breathed out, turning to face him. His eyes searched mine, but I had gotten enough control over my emotions that he wouldn’t be able to see them.

“Okay. Do you need any help with dinner?”

I shook my head and he nodded before pressing a quick kiss to my lips and heading back towards the living room. I shifted my attention back to the scattered ingredients in front of me, my emotions running rampant again.

“Katie?”

I snapped my head around to see Jack still standing in the doorway. He was looking at me with that same intense stare and I felt my heart kick into overdrive once more. I just stood there, wide eyed as I waited for him to speak.

“I…” He faltered, breaking eye contact and slumping over slightly. “…never mind.”

Before I could even blink he was gone. I heard his voice mixing in with Kade’s chatter in the living room just a few moments later. They were back to playing the monster game. I stayed frozen for another second before forcing myself back to reality. I began moving through the kitchen in a sort of fog, throwing together Kade’s favorite mini lasagnas without even thinking about it.

I just couldn’t wrap my head around these new feelings stirring inside of me. I hadn’t felt this way in a long time. After Matthew I had sworn I never would again. But the way Jack smiled at me, the things he said and the way he was around my son made it impossible to resist. And it was in that moment that I knew this was more than just the silly, superficial crush I thought it was. This was much deeper than that. This was love.